FreeOwl

A long-timer in recovery friend of mine shared this and I felt it was well worth sharing on;


Setting the Record Straight
Even though a loved one may not fit the mold, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a drinking problem. To help you separate fact from fiction, here’s a look at five common myths surrounding the High-Functioning Alcoholic:

1. “Alcoholics can’t hold down jobs or be successful.”
Actually quite the opposite. A HFA can have a good job and a family that adores him. He can be wildly popular, make a lot of money and enjoy a wide circle of friends. In fact, it was found that 19 percent of alcoholics fall within the functioning subtype.
Members of this demographic were commonly middle-aged, well-educated, with stable jobs and families. About one-third have a genetic or generational history of alcoholism and about one-quarter also had major depressive illness occur sometime in their lives.

2. “HFA’s don’t have a problem.”
Just because he’s able to maintain obligations like work, school or relationships, doesn’t mean that his drinking problem doesn’t exist. After all, he’s still stricken with the craving, withdrawal and tolerance that comes with a serious dependency to alcohol.
No one can drink heavily and maintain major responsibilities over long periods of time. Before too long, the consequences of heavy drinking are going to catch up with him.

3. “HFA’s are in control.”
Functional alcoholics are often intelligent, hardworking and well-educated. That means his professional or personal success can actually convince him that he’s got the drinking thing under control.
But, as any recovering alcoholic knows, the drink controls him not the other way around. What’s actually happening is that he’s successfully managed to conceal his drinking…for now.

4. "HFA’s don’t show signs of alcoholism.”
From the outside, it may seem like he’s got it all together. But dig a little deeper and red flags will start to surface. Typical behaviors of a HFA tend to include drinking to induce relaxation or confidence, needing to drink alone, constantly becoming intoxicated, experiencing sudden lapses in memory, inability to concentrate, hiding the evidence of consumption and finishing the drinks of others.

5. “HFA’s don’t need to seek help.”
Many high-functioning alcoholics manage to function effectively – sometimes for years – without suffering any major losses. As such, he’s likely in deep denial that he has a problem, yet he instinctively goes to extreme lengths to both feed and hide his addiction. And since he’s convinced himself that he simply doesn’t fit the “classic alcoholic” stereotype, chances are much higher that he’ll remain undiagnosed.
Without help, HFA’s are usually the last ones to seek treatment for addiction.

BBQBOY

I definitely fit into this framework...I used to be a HFAA (high functioning active alcoholic) Now , thank god, I am just a grateful HFA !! It took many many years to seek help.

MIRecovery

I was for a long time but alcoholism is progessive. Slowly but surely my life, career, and relationships started to fall apart. Even I couldn't lie to myself I was high functioning

stargazer016

I agree with everyone. I denied being an alcoholic almost to the very end because I was highly functioning, good job, house, family and so on. Eventually , it all comes apart at the seams.

joandmelandhan

I fall into this category too and have done for many years. However recently the progressive nature of alcoholism has meant that the cracks have started to show and I have been gradually losing control. I'm taking steps now before I have no choice. I love my kids, my home and my job and at the minute thank god I still have all 3.

FreeOwl

I used these lines of logic for many years as 'rationale' that I didn't have a problem.

I surrounded myself with lots of others who were also in this category (there are a shocking lot of them out there...) - as further means of reinforcing that I was just fine. Heck - 'everyone' is doing it, after all!

I was in a line of work where many were in this same boat.

I had friends and participated in interests that held lots of this sort of folk and encouraged a partying lifestyle.

And it 'worked' for a long time. Took me until 40 to really start having the wheels fall off.... and along the way there were many points at which it should have been obvious to any remotely sane person that it wasn't working. Plenty of clear red flags. But, it didn't really hit me because ALCOHOL and because DRUGS and because other than those unfortunate 'rough patches' it was all good and I was employed and relatively well off and everyone was doing it so what's the big deal?

I'm glad I finally got it.... because I can finally see how dysfunctional it was to be "high functioning".

Bailey3

HFA fits me to a tee. I had a good job and was respected by my peers and supervisors. Married with a nice home in the country.

All gone now. I now live in what I call the Redneck Riviera. Nice neighborhood but, boy there's some dim witted neighbors near me. There were other factors in my demise but, alcohol was the biggest one.

Oh well. That's in the past. Still have time make a life that counts for something. Hope is still there and, that's what matters.

ccam1973

Yep, I definitely fit into this category as well. Fit in well, up to the point of convincing myself I was completely justified to drink regularly at work and in the mornings.

So glad I'm not that there any more!

Eagle108

Good choice....unfortunately I could not get there myself even though I knew there was a problem (don't we all, at least down deep). Have been very successful career wise (made 7 figures last year - nonrecurring but still significant) and have a family and two kids.

This is the worst kind in my opinion because no one can make you change (until in my case the law) because you provide, are needed/respected, and can pretty much call your own shots. What bull$hit that turns out to be because sooner or later, it catches up to all of us in the end.

stillpooh19

Yep! Accurate description of me. Such a HFA my grown children still can't believe I checked myself into rehab! I was supermom, super wife (well maybe just a good one) functioned well at work and kept good friends. Some people think there is no such thing as a HFA, but I am prime example. Not one therapist I have had in the recovery process believes me when I say, my drinking didn't negatively impact my ability to be a good mother, wife and employee.For some reason, I think, they think we don't qualify as alcoholics if we haven't wrecked every thing in our lives. I was blessed to realize I was getting too big for britches and was headed on a collision course with disaster.

gleefan

Great insights!

Unfortunately, due to the progressive nature of alcoholism, people's bottoms are high til they're not.

The times where my addiction reared its head, that I passed off in my mind as the normal consequences of partying or fun, weren't nearly as innocuous as I thought. I'm so grateful that other recovering alcoholics were there to show me that I was in trouble with booze.

Dee74

How ever functioning I thought I was I look back now an shake my head...

Thanks for the thread & the thoughts FreeOwl

graced333

HFA here for many years. Then the very fast ride down - lost job, lost respect, lost children's AND grandchildren's respect, lost license, attempted suicide. So blessed to wake up with loved one's help. Advice: (Least!)You HAVE to want to be sober MORE then you want to drink...

MyShadow

HFA here, and it took until 40 to realize it. I have made many investments and purchases in the last 5 years I have to be sober for, and not let them slip away or worse come crashing down because of alcohol.

MissPerfumado

First to go is the H in HFA. I was hovering between "high" functioning and barely functioning.

Next to go would have been the F for functioning and it was not far off. I was at the top of the steep slide someone else described and it was only going to go one way - fast.

I am grateful every day I'm not there anymore.

Thank you for the post.

kittycat3

True Dee!! Me too.

ben83

Every piece of that thread describes how I "was" for years...the last year I got worse and I wouldn't have described myself as high functioning anymore . I have a decent job that a started sneaking off early to drink. I have a house that I stopped doing repairs on I have 2 kids who I couldn't take to the park without my hip flask or I'd have been lost. My relationship took.a nose dive. And I'd drink so much so quickly after work I'd sometimes be in bed before my kids. My health took a nose dive and then i got a wake up call. Then 2 days later im hear with you guys.......This is how high functioning alcoholics end up. If anyone ever tells me they are high functioning alcoholics I will tell them they are just taking longer to die.

Betty126

I believe high functioning alcoholic just means someone in an earlier stage. My father went his whole life with an important job, providing for his family, and at 53 after a dui, revealed he had been drinking in secret (a case of beer a day at least) for a decade plus. I'm sure he wasn't that bad all along, but it IS progressive. He went to rehab and improved for about two years, but relapsed and has gone downhill since. He is 68 now and in very bad shape.
I see too many similarities in myself and am trying to not repeat the same.

bunnezjp

The thing to remember about being "high-functioning" is that it will not last. Eventually, most HFAs will lose "control", or what they think is control.

~Bunnez

Turtle76

http://www.addictioncampuses.com/resources/addiction-campuses-blog/the-4-stages-of-alcoholism-for-the-functioning-alcoholic/

This was an article I stumbled upon somewhere that was a real eye opener for me. When I saw the stages broken down this way, it was something I related with more than the other stages of alcoholism I had read about. I also reckognized that my alcoholism had progressed alot further than I had realized. I am glad I jumped off the crazy train when I did, because I have a feeling the functiong part was not gonna last but maybe a couple more years.