Sinderos

I feel so needy which is not my usual self. I'm usually strong and the encourager. I'm so depressed and just wish I had someone to talk to. My AV was trying hard to talk me into picking up some alcohol, but I didn't. I so desperately want to feel hope. I've decided I have to suck it up and go to an AA meeting. Worst case is my employer finds out and I end up moving away to escape "those who know and judge". I'm miserable anyway so why not.

I'm sorry all I've been doing is coming on here to complain. Right now this is my only source of communication with people who understand. Not having my ex-boyfriend to talk to is making it really difficult. I'm sure part of my depression is the recent revelation that I am not going to let myself get back with him. He's not good for me due to his own addictions.

AA is in 1 hour and 5 minutes. I can hold on til then. I'll post later to let you know how it went. Guess when you're desperate not to let alcohol kill you, you'll take drastic measures. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but going to AA is scary to me.

Lightning Bug

I'm here if you want to talk. PM me if you would like. I am sticking to the board tonight.

Bug

Anna

You are more than welcome to post about your feelings.

I'm sorry you're struggling and I hope that your evening goes well.

Dime

So glad you posted in your time of need. Something I found very hard to do in my time of need. You've got a lot going for you. Congrats on stay away from alcohol today!! Just remember early sobriety is not easy but it gets a little easier with each passing day. Post all you like, we love to hear how your doing.

I applaud your efforts!

teatreeoil007

In my humble opinion, you are entitled to be needy...but you see some of us have been "conditioned" into thinking that's a bad thing or a weakness.. The honest truth is that every single person has needs. And while it's true that some people seem to be more needy than others, we are ALL needy underneath. Sometimes we suppress our needs and end up turning to escaping when our feeling of need becomes too much to bear and we don't feel free to reach out and get our needs met. We also drink out of sheer frustration sometimes. It's okay to be needy and let your true feelings out.

doggonecarl

Scarier for your addiction, I imagine. It's probably thinking, "What if AA works?"

ilovedogs666

I dont think you need to let anyone know at your job that youre going to AA.

If anyone sees you at a meeting, just remember nobody would ever go to a meeting just to check it out or to waste some time. People who will be at the meeting are just like you. Trying to stay sober one day at a time.

So I wouldnt worry at all about this. Other than that, its very important for us to protect our sobriety. My colleagues plan happy hours once a month, and I havent been to one, because I dont feel ready just yet. I also feel anxious trying to explain to people why I wont drink. However, I told some colleagues I dont really drink, nobody thought anything of it! They even said they dont really drink themselves, which was shocking to me, since us alcoholics think everyone drinks like we did.

Im sorry about your ex boyfriend, but if he has his own addiction issues, you know you should stay away from him. I know being lonely sucks, but we are here for you. Hope you enjoy your meeting!

AnvilheadII

but going to AA is scary to me.

but rolling into ANY bar or any other crazy thing we do to get just ONE drink? not so much.

AA is like a bar, without booze, but still full of alcoholics.......anyone with a drinking problem will fit right in.

Sinderos

HAHA! I love this. So funny and very true. Thank you for this. It gave me a little laugh for the first time in a while.