EmmyCat

I'm Emmy, I'm 22, and my big sister is addicted to anything she can get her hands on.

It's so bad in the house I asked if I could fix up the apartment over the garage way out back, so my Dad and my uncle did it for me. I have peace and quiet out here, but my sister is abusive, mean, and dangerous.

As a result, her 5-year-old daughter Chloe lives with me here. My parents won't put my sister in a treatment center. They only call the cops when she gets violent. Then she does her 2 weeks in jail or whatever and she's back again.

I love taking care of Chloe. We are very peaceful way back here. My sister knows not to come near me because I took out a restraining order on her when I turned 21 and knocked her out with a marble rolling pin before the cops got there. My parents were very angry with me, but I didn't care.

They won't do anything! She's tearing them apart, she's tearing our family apart, Chloe is terrified of her, and this is no way to live!

I can't afford to move away and take Chloe because that's kidnapping. I only work weekends when Mom can stay here. She has to keep her job because that's how I can live for free here. I only pay for my internet, food, and what Chloe and I need.

I did have a car, but last month Darcy (my sister) set fire to it in the parking lot at my work. My aunt and uncle are fixing up an old 1968 VW Bug for me which I get tomorrow.

What can I do? In this little town, people don't like messes. They all feel sorry for her, and hold prayer vigils for her. She needs to be committed involuntarily but my parents refuse.

I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.

When I was growing up, we were a close, loving family, not a war zone.

least

Welcome to the family. You have too much on your plate for being so young. I'm sorry your family won't intervene. Do you have any support at all for your living situation? We have a friends and family forum here for loved ones of addicts. I hope you can find some peace of mind.

Have you ever contacted the children's service agency in your area? It seems your sister isn't capable of taking care of her own child, you are doing that.

EmmyCat

They won't allow me to call DSS. When DSS did come, my parents said everything was under control, and at the time, it was. Darcy was in jail, of course. My parents are devout Christians who hate any kind of government intervention, and they believe families take care of their own problems.

They also said to be patient, and they want to secure custody of Chloe. Dad said he'd look into it, and he did promise, but I'm not too hopeful.

There's a lot to this mess.

Impurrfect

EmmyCat - Welcome to SR, though I'm so sorry for what has brought you here. That is a lot to deal with at a young age.

I do hope you check out the Friends & Family forums - there is one for alcoholism, one for substance abuse but I find what loved ones go through is similar, no matter the substance.

I am glad you are taking care of Chloe and doing your best to keep her from all the drama.

Please remember that YOU need support, too. You need a safe place to talk about your feelings and be heard by people who understand.

SR is a great place for that, but you may also want to check out al-anon meetings.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

FLCamper

Chloe is very lucky to have you. That sounds like a mess. Your parents are putting a bandaid on a gaping wound. If drugs and alcohol are her problem, she needs serious help.
I wish I had a solution for you. My best thoughts are prayers your way.
You sound like a wonderful person kind of trapped. Keep looking for a solution and you will find one - don't give up.

EmmyCat

Thank you so much. I was looking at that forum, and figured that's where I need to go.

Chloe hates the house, and gets really upset when we go there, so we've stopped going. And my parents won't get counseling for her, either.

I looked at Al-Anon, but the closest one is thirty miles away. I lost all my friends because I can't go out without Chloe and they don't like little kids tagging along. I don't care. She's more important to me than anything or anyone in the world.

That's why I came here. I don't really fit anywhere. I know a few single moms around here, but I don't have anything in common with them.

But it's okay, Chloe and I have our own rules (based on common sense and the Ten Commandments), we play games, we cook together, clean together, and learn together. She's a very good girl. She's a little hyper when she comes home, but that's easily settled with a snack and a romp in the back yard.

Darcy can be a good Mom. For three years, she was. She wasn't this bad until she discovered meth. Then everything went crazy!

There's a drug problem in this area, too, but the cops don't have the resources to deal with it and no one's been killed yet, so the only way they find it is because of either a mistake or good luck.

Thank you. I will.

I hope my parents can get her, but then what? I can't see them throwing Darcy out of the house ... I don't know.

It's really nice to finally talk about it to people, though! I think it's already helping.

LifeChanges

OH I'm so sorry to hear this. How lucky you are to have your niece and how lucky she is to have you. Focus on that alone. Don't put your energy into your sister, she hasn't earned your time. Good luck to you. You are doing a great thing, taking care of yourself and your niece.

ccam1973

Welcome aboard Emmycat. You're way too young to have all of this on your plate. Sorry and my prayers are with you and your family.

Like the others have said, check out the friends and family forum. SR is a great resource for anyone wanting help.

Glad you found us.

Dee74

I'm sorry to read this too - I have no readymade solutions for you either but I know you'll find support here

D

EmmyCat

Thank you. My Mom helps and we have it worked out okay, but for how long?

But this is true, LifeChanges. I adore Chloe and I'm glad she's safe here. She is all that matters.

Thank you. I'm glad I found you too! I actually feel better already. I went to the FFA and posted there.

Thank you. It's helpful to talk about it and I don't feel so lonely with this any more.



All good things,
Emmy