Lost it today
 

I have used a written plan since the 30th of March, and it has worked out really well. I have had lots of cravings, sure, but today I was blown away the sober train. My plan did not count for sunny, carefree days. I made my plan during late winter, so that may be an excuse. But how the hell am I going to be able to go through summer now? That was my first thought after buying the evening's supplies. I guess I will manage. But I need to write more on my plan. I also think I lost it today because I went to shop too early. I was shopping for everyday groceries, and went through the beer shelves. I had a hard time then, and it really made an impact. This is not easy...

I had my day 35 today. If I only slip for today, can I keep on counting, or do you start over again from day 1?

I only count consecutive sobriety. If you allow gaps in your sobriety, then you're not really sober. To be honest, I'd start at day one again. Remember, in order to stay sober you must want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Don't slip. Who cares what the weather is. You have 35 days. Put on Frosty the Snowman and pretend it's Christmas. Just don't drink.

Please don't slip.

Summer is much better sober, one can truly appreciate the beautiful, sunny days with a clear perspective.

:grouphug:

The day count isn't what's important here--glad you're right back here and wanting to be sober and recognizing that your plan needs some tweaks. Those are all positives. Don't let this slip turn into a free fall. If you've got any of the alcohol left, I hope you'll get rid of it immediately. Down the drain or in the trash, just get it away from you.

You're in my thoughts and prayers today...

You can count the days any way you like because it's your recovery and it's for you. But, why choose to slip? And, yes, the weather is lovely and summer is coming and it sounds like you feel a bit unprepared. Why not sit down and figure out a way to deal with those feelings? 35 days is great and you can continue your recovery and be proud of yourself.

Days are not all that important to me personally.

Tweaking our plan as you have discovered is critical, although I remain sober I have rough days from time to time as well, I reflect on those feelings or emotions and let them go, I will often tweak my plan along the way as well.

I find it helpful to keep a list in my wallet of what it was like in the event I am not being mindful the list also has everything I have gained back by being sober and I know I would loose all that if I were to slip and what I have gained back including my health is all that matters to me.

Andrew

I agree with what Andrew said about tweaking your plan along the way.
I've never really had a plan in the past, and today is my second day sober.
My sober plan is to plan ahead two days in advance - I think that will work for me.

I'm lucky and grateful that my close family and friends don't drink, and they know my issues, so as long as i'm with one of them, I know i'm safe. It's when i'm alone, that's when I really need to be prepared.

It helps me to focus living one day at a time..

Nice job on 35 days!! No one can take that away from you. Hang in there!!

I hope you don't decide to slip...the idea that you'll have some measure of control over your slip and not let it get too bad or not let it go on too long is pure alcohol thinking.

Alcoholics risk losing everything everytime they drink - why risk everything for one crazy idea?

D

You are only a couple of days behind me Lily and I really hope you push through this!
For lazy summer days I will be making pitchers of fruit 'mocktails' (for want of a better word) and plenty of iced tea.
Basically you need to make new summer traditions and forsake the old ones.
Good luck in your journey.

I chose to slip last weekend on day 37, and it was not worth it at all. It just gave me the strength that I needed to quit once and for all. Learn from my mistake. Don't slip.

Wow, what an insightful post on your part, it really shows that you are taking this seriously and looking objectively at where you can improve and where the holes are in your plan. It is crazy how something as simple as the weather changing can have an effect on our moods or plans. But it is real. Good for you for recognising it for what it is and coming here for help.
I agree that days are not what is important here. I hope the you have not already started drinking and can continue counting subsequent numbers, but it you have started drinking is there any way you can pour what you have out and change direction? As an alcoholic myself I know how hard that is, but it is possible.
The day before I left rehab we spoke about a slip versus a relapse. Some may disagree with this and as Anna said, it is all very personal. The psychologist explained a slip is something contained to 24 hours where within those 24 hours we become aware of the very grave mistake we are making and reach out for help despite the shame, fear or difficulty (which I see you doing here) a relapse is where you go full on, either not realising, not caring and definitely not reaching out for help or trying to stop. As for your day count, that is personal and not for me to judge or comment on.
I really hope you got through this without buying or drinking. It wasn't clear form your post what the outcome was, I hope you'll come update us.
Let us help you come up with a summer weather plan, please?