Day 1 feeling scared
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Day 1 feeling scared
I woke up at 3:30 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I feel panicky and unwell - hungover and afraid of what I'm doing to my body. I have woken up so many times this way and will read tons of articles and posts and blogs about people who quit and feel motivated but by 5 pm I'm in a totally different mental space and am contemplating a drink. This past year has been super stressful and I've been drinking more to cope. I have terrible anxiety and I know alcohol makes it worse. I have been drinking 4-5 drinks most nights. My body can't tolerate it. I'm 43 and have been drinking more than I should since my early 30s. I had a bout of drinking during the day and being completely nonfunctional about 9 years ago and I stopped that. I will take a few days off here and there, I stopped for 3 weeks a few years ago and I stopped for a few months before that. I really want to be free of this cycle. Right now I feel like I'm going to die, I'm so shaky and my stomach is a mess. My husband likes to drink and sees me as his drinking buddy. I don't want that anymore. UGH
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
I can relate - I've been there and it is a horrible feeling. You already know the fix: quit drinking. Even if you just start with a day or two.
Of course, by 5pm, you'll be feeling better. Try writing down how you feel right now, or video tape a message to the future, 5:00 JLC120. Remind that person how awful you feel right now.
Can you go to an evening AA meeting and stop this cycle? Or spend some time on here.
If your husband is your drinking buddy, you may need to have a heart to heart conversation.
My best thoughts to you.
Of course, by 5pm, you'll be feeling better. Try writing down how you feel right now, or video tape a message to the future, 5:00 JLC120. Remind that person how awful you feel right now.
Can you go to an evening AA meeting and stop this cycle? Or spend some time on here.
If your husband is your drinking buddy, you may need to have a heart to heart conversation.
My best thoughts to you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
I can totally relate. Waking up every morning filled with self loathing. My 5 pm, excited for that first glass of wine. Just a glass or two. Next morning - hung over, self loathing. My husband is not an alcoholic but we enjoyed drinking together for 20 years. He was utterly supportive when I stopped and now we find other ways to be together. Funny, stopped drinking just to support him. It didn't phase him. For me it is still a fight
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Join Date: May 2016
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Originally Posted by mecanix 
My sobriety has changed my life ,
It's difficult ( especially the early days) but it has been worthwhile
Bestwishes, m
It's difficult ( especially the early days) but it has been worthwhile
Bestwishes, m
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by FLCamper
I can relate - I've been there and it is a horrible feeling. You already know the fix: quit drinking. Even if you just start with a day or two.
Of course, by 5pm, you'll be feeling better. Try writing down how you feel right now, or video tape a message to the future, 5:00 JLC120. Remind that person how awful you feel right now.
Can you go to an evening AA meeting and stop this cycle? Or spend some time on here.
If your husband is your drinking buddy, you may need to have a heart to heart conversation.
My best thoughts to you.
Of course, by 5pm, you'll be feeling better. Try writing down how you feel right now, or video tape a message to the future, 5:00 JLC120. Remind that person how awful you feel right now.
Can you go to an evening AA meeting and stop this cycle? Or spend some time on here.
If your husband is your drinking buddy, you may need to have a heart to heart conversation.
My best thoughts to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Thanks
Thank you for your responses. I will be so grateful if I make it through this day without a panic attack. I just can't keep doing this to myself. Even if my husband would take a few nights off a week with me it would mean so much. I hope he will.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Originally Posted by JLC120
I am going to start by spending time on here. Maybe make a date with myself to post again at 5. You're right about the heart to heart.
I'm so glad you found this place. It has changed my life for the better. Create your plan and work it. It's so worth it!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
JC120, It might be a good idea to go see your Dr. Tell your Dr. what's going on with your intake and your concerns about anxiety. There are meds. which can help you out in the early going. Your Dr. will NOT judge you, they just want to help you...this is a medical problem! After I went to my doctor, I was so relieved and kicked myself for not doing it earlier. Best Wishes
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Join Date: May 2016
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Ok maybe I could call today and see about getting an appointment. Thank you. I keep thinking I'm going to just collapse and die. So much to do today. Cursing myself and looking forward to a life without hangovers.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, JLC120! You've already done one right thing by coming here and asking for help. Getting those thoughts out of your own head and discussing them with another addict is a great recovery tool.
I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today. Please do check in as often as you can. We've all been where you are today--you really don't have to ever feel this way again.
I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today. Please do check in as often as you can. We've all been where you are today--you really don't have to ever feel this way again.
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 98
Originally Posted by JLC120
Ok maybe I could call today and see about getting an appointment. Thank you. I keep thinking I'm going to just collapse and die. So much to do today. Cursing myself and looking forward to a life without hangovers.
My doctor has me taking anabuse in the morning so that it is impossible for me to drink when the 5 pm craving hits. I told him that there is no way I'm going to drink (I'm getting drug tested) but he said to do it anyway. There are also medications for anxiety that can help, under close supervision of a doctor so you don't substitute one addiction for another.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Deep breathing exercises are highly recommended for anxiety & panic attacks here's a link to get you started
Deep Breathing Instructions for Calming Panic
Can I ask have you tried meditation ?
Deep Breathing Instructions for Calming Panic
Can I ask have you tried meditation ?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Deep breathing exercises are highly recommended for anxiety & panic attacks
Can I ask have you tried meditation ?
Can I ask have you tried meditation ?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Hi JLC
We are the same age, and I too am in a marriage of the "drinking buddies" variety. I too felt it would be easier if husband would quit, and I used this to rationalize my drinking for a long time. Honestly it got to where I felt like that's all we really have in common anymore - drinking - which is a scary thing to feel.
Anyway, I decided to embrace sobriety for ME, and realized that I am the only person responsible for what goes into my body. You can do this, too.
When you feel better, check out that "sticky" in this forum for newcomers called "Looking for things to do?" It offers some concrete ideas for things to do in the evening to get through the witching hour.
I am on day 46 so I am still very new to this too, but already I can tell you that when you absolutely make up your mind to stay sober for the day, your brain will naturally look for something else to think about. As drinkers we just default to drinking when we have down time, but there is SO MUCH ELSE to do with your time! It's amazing actually.
Get through this day, go home and commit to getting into bed and resting, and look forward to better times spent doing things which are so much more fun and rewarding.
We are the same age, and I too am in a marriage of the "drinking buddies" variety. I too felt it would be easier if husband would quit, and I used this to rationalize my drinking for a long time. Honestly it got to where I felt like that's all we really have in common anymore - drinking - which is a scary thing to feel.
Anyway, I decided to embrace sobriety for ME, and realized that I am the only person responsible for what goes into my body. You can do this, too.
When you feel better, check out that "sticky" in this forum for newcomers called "Looking for things to do?" It offers some concrete ideas for things to do in the evening to get through the witching hour.
I am on day 46 so I am still very new to this too, but already I can tell you that when you absolutely make up your mind to stay sober for the day, your brain will naturally look for something else to think about. As drinkers we just default to drinking when we have down time, but there is SO MUCH ELSE to do with your time! It's amazing actually.
Get through this day, go home and commit to getting into bed and resting, and look forward to better times spent doing things which are so much more fun and rewarding.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by jseattle
Yes. Drinking doesn't help. Your AV will try to trick you that it will help your anxiety. It won't.
My doctor has me taking anabuse in the morning so that it is impossible for me to drink when the 5 pm craving hits. I told him that there is no way I'm going to drink (I'm getting drug tested) but he said to do it anyway. There are also medications for anxiety that can help, under close supervision of a doctor so you don't substitute one addiction for another.
My doctor has me taking anabuse in the morning so that it is impossible for me to drink when the 5 pm craving hits. I told him that there is no way I'm going to drink (I'm getting drug tested) but he said to do it anyway. There are also medications for anxiety that can help, under close supervision of a doctor so you don't substitute one addiction for another.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by CaseyW
Welcome to SR, JLC120! You've already done one right thing by coming here and asking for help. Getting those thoughts out of your own head and discussing them with another addict is a great recovery tool.
I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today. Please do check in as often as you can. We've all been where you are today--you really don't have to ever feel this way again.
I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of May 2016 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are newly sober.
Wishing you the best today. Please do check in as often as you can. We've all been where you are today--you really don't have to ever feel this way again.
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