Embarrassed
 

I threw away a year of sobriety. Blacked out around coworkers at a bar. Surely embarrassed myself and harmed my reputation. I feel like I've ruined everything I've worked so hard for.

I'm sorry that happened. Your coworkers were probably drinking too and may not even paid attention to you.

What are you going to do now?

I hope this will be incentive to get sober again. If you never drink again, this will never have to happen again. :)

I need to restore my sanity. I know I got in an argument at one point and am terrified of what else could have happened. I fell into the trap of just wanting to be part of the group and drink normally. I pulled it off a couple of times until this event. Same old story for me. Hoping time will help.

Thank you. It definitely is.

Time passing did help somewhat for me, but taking action steps to maintain my not drinking was what was key. It's ok to want to be part of the group; like this one!

I'm sorry that happened but I think you probably have more important things to worry about than your coworkers :)

how did you get sober last time?
D

I'm just worried as I know my superiors were there. I had worked very hard to be in a respected position and am scared of the potential repercussions. I do worry too much in general though.

Last time, I focused on health and my work, but had trouble making any social connections without drinking. Tried a couple of meetings but had trouble finding any peers.

I'm sorry that you are going through this and I understand why you are concerned. I hope that you know you don't ever have to go through this again.

Social connections are often difficult for us without alcohol and I am less social than I used to be and that's just fine with me. I think acceptance of who we are is really important in recovery.

That year isn't gone. The worst that happens is that you don't get to count it towards your current clean time each day.

I found a lot of peers at meetings. We share a common pathology, but more importantly, we share recovery.

Don't beat yourself up. You will anyhow, so I suggest a softer bat when you do it. What is important is what you are going to do today. It wasn't necessary, but you have provided yourself with additional evidence that using just doesn't work well for you.

You can be OK. There is help.

I'm a newbie here. But hopefully you can keep from drinking again and that be the worst of it.

I have been reading about kindling online. Is it possible for someone who has had withdrawals in the past, even over a year ago, to get withdrawals from even a small amt of alcohol? or is this unlikely?

Keep your chin up and keep moving forward.

I agree with IvanMike, that year is still there, and the fact that you are on here today shows you want to be sober. I only have four months, would love to hear what worked for you to get a year.

Is there someone at work you have a good/trusting relationship that you can call and talk to about the other night? I am a worrier as well, and I know I can tend to start imagining worst case scenarios. At least then you will know what you are dealing with when you go to work tomorrow.

Draw a line under it and get right back to Sobriety, no point in beating yourself up!!

Tweak you plan and keep moving forward!! :)

Thanks. Unfortunately, my close friends were smart enough to leave early. I'm not sure what to do except just lay low and try to redeem myself by doing good work.

I got to a year by having experiences like this one and reflecting on growing up with 2 alcoholic parents. Obviously that didn't address the underlying issue I guess.

I think it depends scott. Probably different for everyone. I got drunk once a few months ago after not drinking for months and did not experience anything bad the next day. I've also read on this forum that people have ended up in pretty rough shape.

Do you remember anything of the night? It sounds like you are assuming something bad happened, do you recall anything specific?

And I agree with everyone else, learn from it and move on when you're done beating yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

I'm almost at 7 months, and I've been picturing ice cold kegs lined up and me chugging pints for an escape from my negative thoughts, but it's threads like this one where I am reminded why I need to stay firm and vigilant.

I'm glad you wanted to talk about it - I hope it helps ease your mind a little. I think most of us have put ourselves in this uncomfortable position. I know I can't trust myself to ever drink again - but it took me a long time to admit it. It sounds like something valuable was learned. You're going to do it this time, backatit.