Volshen

Could of been day 12 .. not sure. Doesn't matter. I saw the warning signs .. the two days prior I was romanticizing the idea of drinking and would have given up then if it weren't for my girlfriend.

Been drinking when she's at work.

Past few days I've wanted to tell you all the truth but have been embarrassed so I've just posted normal things ..

But as stupid as I feel, no sense in pretending everything is great when it isn't, right?

Anyway, please, no sympathy. It's my own damn fault ... what I've realized is each time I really try to be sober, I can go longer than the previous try . I will analyze what happened the time I had 8 days and this recent time of 11-12 days and come up with a plan tailored around that information.

Volshen / Brandon

mns1

Hi Brandon is there something else you can do when she's at work to get your mind off drinking?

Volshen

I need to get re-committed to not drinking .. and get back to work myself ... it would reduce the amount of free time I have.

But the re-committed part is important because if my heart isn't totally in it when I get a new job .. I'll just behave stupidly and not go to work.

CaseyW

Thank you for your honesty today. Glad you're back here with us. I hope when those thoughts and cravings come this time, that you'll get in here immediately and admit to them and ask for help. Sometimes just letting those thoughts out of your head and telling them to another human being is enough to take all their power away.

Wishing you the best today...

Volshen

Thank you Casey.

Soberwolf

So glad your sticking with us Volshen have you seen any of the SR plan links ?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

With you on this journey bud

least

I hope this can be your last day one.

AnvilheadII

definitely a good idea to commit to not drinking at all, ever, under ANY circumstances. and when those thoughts start to trot across your brain, just say "thanks for sharing, NEXT!". best not to argue or debate with that voice.

i'm glad you are thinking hard about all this!

Anna

Brandon, I think that looking for a new job, and one that will challenge you is a great idea. It would help you to move forward with your life and also keep you occupied in a positive way.

Lightning Bug

You didn't give up. If you truly gave up you wouldn't be here talking about it. You hit a speed bump. It is important to just move past it and get back on the road.

Bug

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Brandon!!

Hevyn

I'm glad you wanted to talk about it, Brandon. Most of us have done the same thing. Never feel embarrassed - we're here to listen and help if we can.

Dee74

Never feel embarrassed about posting here Volshen - if you can't be honest here, where can you be?

D

thomas11

Yeah...you don't want to do that (not go to work).