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When is it okay to enjoy a drink?

Old 04-30-2016, 02:46 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Exactly, life is far better with extended sobriety. The rub, we are so inundated and conditioned in thinking we have to drink to enjoy life. It is quite the opposite. The more I drank, the more chaotic and miserable my life became. With sobriety, I was able to manage my life and to untangle the mess I had made.
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Old 04-30-2016, 02:47 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Depends if you're an alcoholic, and only you yourself can answer that question. Everyone on here can give you an answer based on their own experiences. Many of them discovered they are alcoholics and really cant go back to drinking again without going down that slippery path. If you self-diagnose as an alcoholic, you should just avoid it all together. If you don't think you're an alcoholic, then well maybe some day you can again...but that answer needs to come from you.

I can't say much, I don't identify as anything other than powerless over my emotions that got me into a lot of trouble. I've just made the choice not to drink, because my depression can lead me to make stupid decisions...especially when I mix it with another depressant like alcohol.
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Old 04-30-2016, 03:04 PM
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Another thing that popped to mind...

People sometimes misunderstand what it means when 12 step fellowships say they are powerless over alcohol or powerless over their addiction. That is a long discussion, but one of the most important is that we have the ability to decide if we have the first one. After the first one, the second is a foregone conclusion. So is the twentieth.

As the NA "how it works" reading puts it - "the only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take that first drug"
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Old 04-30-2016, 03:13 PM
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Hi Ben. Add me to the list of those who can never have 'one or two' socially. I'm a 30 yr. drinking veteran. The last time I decided it was ok to have a couple it took me 7 yrs. to return to sobriety. Horrible things happened. I can never go back there.

I'm glad you asked the question - I hope it helps.
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Old 04-30-2016, 03:32 PM
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Ben the last time I was sober for 11 months and felt epic but I figured that I was 'cured' and decided I could moderate and be occasional drinker. This led to social drinking which led to drinking on weekends which 2 1/2 years later had become daily drinking. I've learned my lesson. I can't moderate for whatever reason and i'm reconciled to that.
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Old 04-30-2016, 04:33 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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I am not even 2 weeks sober, and the idea of not being able to look forward to a drink some time in the future is terrifying. So, I am just trying not to think too far ahead. I know that I had several periods of sobriety that were successful and I talked myself into being able to drink again. This time was the hardest thing I have ever done. So hard. So so hard. Luckily I am in a good rehab program and am not trying to white knuckle my way through. Also, chocolate.

Sorry, I know you wish the answer was different.
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Old 04-30-2016, 04:35 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ben83 View Post
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass?
If you are an alcoholic then ..... there is never a time frame to be able to have another drink.
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Old 04-30-2016, 04:44 PM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ben83 View Post
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass?
Hi Ben, you probably won't find too many long time members on this site who will encourage you to find out. Its something that only you know. I personally never relegate myself to the thought of only ice water for the rest of my years. But that's what keeps me from drinking. I don't tell myself never. Just today is fine with me.
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Old 04-30-2016, 05:19 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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When I look at how much I've gained from not drinking, ice water doesn't seem that bad to me.

If it's a tradeoff it's so ridiculously in my favour that it's a no-brainer.

Heck, I actually *love* ice water

D
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Old 04-30-2016, 05:26 PM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Never.

Honestly, if you are even asking this question then you are not ready for recovery.

One day, when you are ready, you will not only understand that you can NEVER drink again, but when you are truly ready..you won't want to because you never want to relive that again
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Old 04-30-2016, 07:21 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Ben, like Dee it was around 25 years that I failed miserably trying to moderate my drinking. If I just had "a few" during the week, it translated into a full out onslaught of drinking on the weekends. I hope you see that drinking that water is a lot better than what alcohol could lead to.
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Old 04-30-2016, 07:59 PM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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When is it OK to enjoy a drink?

Thats easy for me to answer: NEVER. No way, no how. Besides, it has been many years since I enjoyed a (one) drink and stop, if ever. I don't want just one. I wouldn't enjoy just one. If the cork comes out I want the whole bottle, and another one waiting!"A"drink will only make me thirsty.
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Old 05-01-2016, 12:36 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ben83 View Post
I appreciate that I'm not really even close. But what time scale have other people found its okay to go out and have a few drinks without it turning into a session and starting again the next morning? It would be nice to have a goal in the form of a time scale when I can go out and have a few beers without feeling like it's a relapse or like I've given up. Surely responsible drinking can play a part in my life in the future. Or am I now destined to a life of water from my beer glass?
I'm going to take the above paragraph and relate it to when I could have written the same paragraph cause I did go through a long phase where I thought that I might drink again. In moderation. This was years ago though. This was before I was ready to get sober.

When I still thought there might be some way that I could drink moderately in the future I was simply not ready to stop drinking.

I'll tell you what happened when I thought that I could do this. I would drink moderately by the skin of my teeth for a few nights. Then I would get drunk before the end of the first week and figure that I had only gotten drunk once that week so that was better than before when I was getting drunk every night.

Certainly two nights a week wasn't as bad as before right? You can see where this is going.

Even considering the possibility of drinking moderately kept me in the depths of alcoholism and it kept getting worse and worse with more and more consequences.
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Old 05-01-2016, 06:42 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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If you are like me it will be much easier if you accept that you can't drink in moderation. We are different that the average temperate drinker. It would never end at just a few drinks...
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