wpainterw

If you’re an alcoholic you’re going to be talked about, gossiped about. I recall many, many years ago two elderly ladies glancing at me and overhearing one of them saying, “Bad habits!” Another time, in my pipe smoking days, a lady, again grimacing at me, commented in a pay phone, “And the smell!” In a New England small town gossip is a village sport, dating back to the Puritan days when persons, if found guilty under a vague law, penalizing a “common scold” were sentenced to submersion on a “ducking stool”, a Puritan version of today’s “waterboarding”. Massachusetts, with its respect for the past, allowed the law to remain on its books for more then a hundred years, well into the 19th Century I believe. Gossips, if hard up for the latest news, sometimes take a pie to an alcoholic's home and, peering into a door left ajar, say in a compassionate voice, "I hear that your son is ill. Here's a nice pie for him!" All the while peering over mom's shoulder to catch a glimpse of the poor invalid.,
So if you’re alcoholic you get talked about, sometimes in your presence. It’s understandable if you become somewhat paranoid. Actually the paranoids have it all figured out. If you’re paranoid they probably are out to get you and often they go after the paranoids first. So what does an alcoholic do? Get earplugs? If you’re elderly, wear a hearing aid only at home? The best solution is to give up drinking and that’s the ultimate challenge. Good luck! Any comments? 


madgirl

Well this is something I hadn't even thought to be worried about - thanks for giving me something new to consider. Ha

wpainterw

Oh be my guest!. I'm an Olympic gold medal worrier. Worry is what I do! You betcha!

W.

sugarangel

People do nothing but gossip about others around here where I live. If you are having a problem, guaranteed everyone knows about it. Around here, I am "That pillhead". Makes me sad, because I'd like to think I am so much more than my addictions.

saoutchik

I suppose we can console ourselves with some Oscar Wilde quotes

"There is only thing in life worse than being talked about is not being talked about"

That said I agree WPW, giving up is the best option - it even gives the gossip something new to gossip about

graced333

Yup!

ALinNS

Wouldn't/doesn't bother me in the least, I am a fill your boots kind of guy and honestly couldn't care less.

The only thing that does bother me and it only happened once years ago was being accused of drinking when I had been sober around 18 months, holy smokes the emotions went off the charts.

thomas11

I was always very conscientious about what people thought of me or if they knew I had been drinking. The answers ranged from "you were obviously drunk" to "you looked fine to me". So I'm at a loss.

Now, I'm the one getting asked if I could tell if someone has been drinking. A little role reversal feels good. And thanks for the history lesson. You always have great posts Bill. Hope you and your wife are well.

tomsteve

dont have to be an alcoholic to have gossip about ya.

used to bother me, but now i hope people waste their time gossiping about me.
thats less time gossiping about people that cant take it yet.

Soberwolf

What others think of me is none of my business ?

aasharon90

I have to continue to remind myself
to not talk about others even tho I
am guilty at times and do own that
not proper habit or character defect.

Its not nice to gossip about others
and often remind myself that when
I take anothers inventory then most
of what I say that is negative is surely
the negativity or faults I have in myself.

And it is true.

However, I try to remain teachable
and use many lessons ive been taught
in life and recovery to cover my bases
and try to live life to the best of my
human ability and remember kindness
and compassion of others.

sure I have been the gossip of school
mates all the way up to high school
graduation. And no I didn't like it
and yet as much as I tried in those
days to stand up for myself, it never
stopped the meaness, cruelness
and harassment.

I try to remember to treat others
the way Id want to be treated, however
that too doesn't always work. I have
to continue to do what I am called
to do in this recovery life and keep
my side of the street clean.

I try not to give others something
to gossip about just by minding
my business, but I sure there are
folks out there that I pass everyday
that will be critical of my tattoos
or the way I dress and then maybe
not.

I am being me today. Something that
I wasn't able to do for a long long time.

If others don't like what they see, then
it is non of my business and I surely cant
make them like me or my tattoos.

Acceptance of people, places and
things whether they gossip or look
at me with 'oh my gosh why does this
woman have so many tattoos and why
does she have them at her age'.

Again, it non of my business and
since I do carry myself with pride,
and confidence, I don't look to see
what others are looking at yet I
can sense eyes upon me and I have
to be willing to accept that.

If I didn't want others to see me,
or was a shamed or guilty of my
tattoos, then id keep my butt at
home.

I will tell you that, I do get quit a few
compliments on my pretty colorful
art and it is accepting by many more
than I expected.

sugarangel

Loved your post aasharon.

wpainterw

Yes, and in those days they certainly did talk about Oscar. He egged them on posing with a lily in his hand. Like that song, "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

W.

wpainterw

And I heartily agree!

Bill

wpainterw

aasharon: And I like and admire a lot of what I see in you! Every good wish!

Bill