GMariee

But im still closer and closer...to be honest, the only thing holding me back is the physical pain...Today was my sons 12th birthday. I had dinner and dessert reserved for him at his favorite place, and I was truly excited to go, until the physical pains set in....my sides hurt, my chest hurt, my arms hurt, my tummy hurts. We had our dinner and Immediately came home and had a shot of vodka...I only had enough for about 3 shots, and liquor stores where I live, close at 9...I happened to know of 1 that closes at 10, and immediately started to drive there, but before I got out the door, I asked myself. "Is this really what I want?" My head said no, so I said no. So I came to SR. One day at a time.

Dee74

Hi GMariee - if you're in pain withdrawing I think a medically supervised detox is your only option?

D

GMariee

I think about that too, Dee..But I am so ashamed...my PCP has been my doc for years and years, and has delivered all of my nieces and nephews, has taken it upon himself to learn about my DS, even 800 miles away, he will still make an appointment to see me...I cant possibly walk into him shameful. I know I can fight the pain, ive done it before..its a hard 3 days, but my body eventually heals....and then its back to drinking...its the cycle I need to kill, I believe.

Dee74

Pride kills a lot of people though.

If you won't see your regular Dr what about another one?

not trying to be harsh, but it doesn't sound like you're doing well enough to get to day three right now?

D

GMariee

Why do you always have to be right, Dee? :-) I can go the three days, no problem, but day 4, I think I am "good" and start again. I really want to talk to my PCP...do you have any experience in that? Did they judge you? Treat you differently? I am flying home next month for an appointment, and I really want to talk to him about it, but I don't want him to judge me..

Delilah1

Hello,

Doctors see patients struggling with addictions daily. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are going to see your doctor to help you get healthy, that is his job.;-)

If you really feel uncomfortable Dee's advise about seeing a different doctor is good, or you can also call your insurance to see if they have a separate addiction department.

You can do this!!!

ScottFromWI

My doctor treated my alcohol issues as you'd expect them to treat any problem....professionally and in a kind way. It's your addiction talking, not common sense. Alcoholism is common and your doctor will not judge you any more than they would if you had gout or a broken arm.

Dee74

I wasn't judged either GMariee - the whole experience was very professional.
I certainly wasn't the first or the last alcoholic in the practice

D

Notimetoloose

Day 4 was always a stumbling block for me as well...then, I would get to day 4 and day 7 would be the next big stumbling block but what a milestone...and so it would go.
The days can be long in early recovery!.
Be prepared, have a plan when the cravings hit, and they can hit hard..
Remembering HALT helped me.
Have you read RR, looked into AVRT or tried SMART, or AA meetings.
All of these programs have a lot to offer, it is just finding one that is a good fit for you, or a hybrid of a few!

I did them all in early recovery. I felt like a deer in the headlights, I just felt freaked out and they helped me to not feel alone.

Also, changing everything around the actual habit of drinking; be prepared with lots of alternative drinks and teas.