FaithfulAndFree

..... From another relapse. And even though I haven't the bad nights that I've had in the past, this time I feel much worse. Because I was doing so well and I know how great sober feels... 3 months down the toilet and no ones going to believe me when I say I don't drink anymore because it's like I'm crying wolf. I'm feeling very lost at this moment. Shameful, unworthy and embarrassed. I know it will pass but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm soliciting prayers and good vibes.

Soberwolf

Sending prayers strenght hope Serenity & all good vibes

Welcome bk

wildchild69

I totally understand the shame. It's not 3 months wasted...as humans we aren't perfect. Look at how much you've accomplished...just keep moving forward....that's all we can do. Forgive yourself and get back on track.

wildchild69

Also, don't worry about what other people think....easier said than done....this is your personal journey. Everybody has setbacks and makes mistakes....I bet you'd be surprised how much others would understand your struggle.

turfwars

in same boat ..keep going that's all we can do

Anna

We do understand how hard this is. And, try to not allow the shame to cause you to continue drinking because it just becomes a cycle. You had 3 months of sobriety and you can do it again. Try to figure out what happened and safeguard against it happening again. You can do this!

wildchild69

I've heard it said before that alcoholism is a symptom of something deeper....This time around I'm trying to look a little deeper in my soul and figure out what truly triggers the craving.

FaithfulAndFree

I'm there too wildchild. I'm actually considering scheduling to see a therapist soon. I know for sure I have issues that should be talked out and absolutely no one to talk to. My friends have there own lives, my mother is too emotionally attached to me to hear some of my sadder thoughts and the only person who I could confuse in has passed away (another issue that needs to be worked out). Seeking help is very scary though.

wildchild69

Seeking help is scary....I think there's something in us that is always scared to admit we need help. After my mess up last night....binge drinking, getting behind the wheel, treated my wonderful mother like dirt, sent a million hate texts.....I had to apologize to my now boyfriend and mother. It was amazing how relieving it was to tell him I was out of control when I drank. Just saying that openly helped me to feel better immediately. He too quit drinking for years...and now has only drank on occasion and not to excess like he used to....but he was very positive and reminded me that none of this is unfixable....it's truly an easy fix to just not pick up the drink. That's the first step and the thing to focus on the most....but we do need to find out how to work through these emotional pains. I really think therapy will help you....you need to talk to someone about how you feel for sure. I too feel like I don't have anyone to completely confide in....my best friend has heard so much already....and I'm ashamed I even contacted my ex so I can't really talk to my current boyfriend about that. I don't like hiding things or having secrets....so I'm ready to live an open clean slate without drunken regrets and secrets.

ElleDee

Sending prayers for you. I too have had some struggles recently. I know how you feel.

Hevyn

FaithfulAndFree - I did the same thing a few times & the remorse was awful. We all know how you're feeling. As Wildchild said, it's time to live openly, without secrets & regrets. I was so exhausted from living that kind of life for decades - it feels wonderful to be free.

The idea of a therapist is a good one. It would be a huge help to unburden yourself of some of the things that are bringing you down. Prayers going up for you, Faithful.

Dee74

welcome back Faithfulandfree

D