AllDayHopePrey

Hi,

Although I work with people with disabilities, strokes , heart attacks, obese etc I never knew half of what alcoholics go through until I met my current partner.
I have to say it has opened my eyes and scared me so much over these last few weeks.

I have tried to learn from the net and again been surprised by what I've read..
Alcoholics won't change, run..
Alcoholics will just lie and deceive, get out now ..
Alcoholics are a lost cause etc etc ..

I have seen amazing results from patients I've seen in the gym, some walking for the first time, some coming off medication so when my girlfriend told me she couldn't stop drinking I really couldn't believe it..

And yes maybe I'm a little ashamed now to admit it .
She has so much to look forward to, so much ahead of her.. She's beautiful, funny, intelligent yet she can't stop drinking 😢
I understand the reasons why she started but just finding it hard why she can't stop.
We are trying again as of today (This is day 1 Sunday) to stop, I've heard the first 5 days are the worst so I'm just here trying to get tips and advice)

Do you stop cold turkey ?
Over the counter medication for shakes (her doc isn't very helpful)
Anything else I should be concerned about ?

Thank you to everyone who has posted here, I've read through the forum and it's not all doom and gloom.
The success story's I've read have made me smile and given me hope 🙏🏼

Upward2Enlightenment

The biggest thing is that the alcoholic has to want to quit wholeheartedly. The idea of drinking has to be completely ruled out. Some think that they can moderate but I've never met one that has been successful at it.

As for alcohol withdrawal, I will let others that are more knowledgeable answer.

Best of luck

ALinNS

First thing IMHO we have to do is admit we have a problem, alcohol controls our lives when we drink putting our normal self out of control and we need to be committed to stop and at least in my case accept I can never drink again, that to me is the footing for my sobriety.

My foundation is education, forums and a very solid plan to ensure I never drink again.

The house is what I will build for the rest of my life, enjoying every sober moment.

In my own experience, it would have been far too dangerous to quit cold turkey so I received medication from a doctor, I have also been in and out of Detox centres but couldn't get in the last time I relapsed, first time stopping I really suggest Detox as you receive a lot of education and it's a very safe environment.

All the best
Andrew

Soberwolf

Welcome ADHP

Stopping cold turkey can be dangerous so it's always best to seek medical advice I done cold turkey but it's not advised

Welcome to a great community

least

The doctors in the UK don't seem as likely as US doctors to prescribe benzos for withdrawal. If she needs medical help, get her to the emergency facility quick.

The biggest thing I had to do to stay sober was to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. When I reached that point, I stayed sober.

AllDayHopePrey

Thank you for your replys..

She has been in detox twice and has been to AA for about 9 years.
She recognises there is a problem which I know is half the battle.
I think keeping busy will help loads and also trying to not let her be on her own especially in the evenings but that will be quite hard.

So much more respect to everyone that has beaten or battling this ��

breath

If you choose to follow the "disease model" of alcohol addiction it makes alcoholism much easier to understand; and recognize that, as with any disease, there is no cure and requires lifetime treatment.

If you don't, then answering some of your questions becomes more difficult.

Fly N Buy

There's a we in quitting certainly but it has to start with her. My experience simply is when one willing, honest and open minded there are solutions. If one isn't ready and willing there is nothing a well intentioned loved one can really do.

Knowing one has a problem and accepting a solution are not the same. I knew for years I had a problem - until I made a decision to change no one or any amount of cajoling helped.
Alanon may provide you some answers you are seeking.

Dee74

Hi and welcome AllDayHopePrey

some great advice here already...like some others have suggested, this need to be her journey...if she's not driving this recovery train, then things are probably not goign to get very far.

If on the other hand, she's fully committed to change and to doing whatever is needed to stay sober for good then the prognosis is excellent IMO

D

sleepie

I quit on my own and despite an enabling boyfriend who I am still with. However quitting was my idea, not his at all. It is true when people say she has to want to, and even then it is difficult I am sorry to say.

fantail

Imagine that someone told you that eating food, any food at all, was killing you and you had to stop. So you stop, but by the second or third day you're starving, you get shaky and ill, your body is screaming, I NEED FOOD! You get really sick but somehow you don't die, and after a few weeks you start to get your energy back and you feel OK. From then on, everything's fine. You just can't ever eat any food, ever again. So you do your best to live normally that way.

That is not a great metaphor for sobriety for many reasons, but it is the closest thing I can think of to explain what the quitting part of it feels like for alcoholics. Alcohol literally changes the brains of addicts. So when we quit, our bodies and minds are freaking out as if we'd decided to cut off something necessary for our survival. It's not like going on a diet, it's like full on quitting food. So it's tough! But the benefits are so real and so important that a lot of people manage it, and I hope your gf is one of them.

AllDayHopePrey

Breath- Thank you. I never realised this at first but yes I'm now looking at it completely differently thank you .

Flynbuy- that's one thing that was pointed out quite early it has to totally be her decision and I'm so greatful to say it has been ����
Dee74- thank you so much for your time. Day two and fingers crossed ��
Sleepie- thank you so much I hope your still on your journey ��
Fantail- thank you for your time. I'm understanding more all the time, I even watched a Meg Ryan film last night (can't remember the name) that highlighted just how hard this journey will be, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel ����

AllDayHopePrey

Must stop using emojis , :-)

Mountainmanbob

Those are straight out lies from the devil.
Many, many do recover.
Support your girlfriend.
Unless she pushes you to your limit.
From the sound of your thread -- you are no where's near your limit.
She may be one of the few -- that are looking to escape the liquid devil.

MB

wildchild69

It's not unfixable. Don't give up on her! I've quit and had setbacks before, but my determination to take control of my life is what's keeping me focused now. It's definitely a journey....once she starts feeling better, I think she'll gain some motivation. Sometimes we have to fall down a couple times before we figure it out.

chickippo

this really stood out to me. you need to understand that this is beyond any of your control. you can keep a dry house, you can watch someone 24hrs a day and at the end you might still end up with a drunk person, and now you're exhausted as well.

i can feel your love for your girlfriend in your words. it's good that you love her, but you cannot fix her. she knows the ropes, and she more than likely has the tools. she needs to use them for herself.

i hope things go well.

tomsteve

practicing alcoholics are deceitful liars that wont change until they decide they want to stop drinking a d put in the footwork. nobody carrying them or doing the footwork for them. encouragement is good, but enabling not good.

and
its proven here that we arent lost causes.

AllDayHopePrey

MB- So glad I found this forum as its a lot more positive than the ones I read before. It can be beaten, there are success story's and hopefully my girl is going to be one of them. Day 3 today :-). Thank you for your time

Wild child- thank you . I'm realising that more and more, this is the longest she has gone since I've known her, I know we can do this. Thank you.

Chikk- I totally agree with you and that's one reason I'm pretty positive right now as it was her decision. Thank you for your time

Tomsteve- yep I agree whole heartedly and I'm so glad I found this site as its so more positive than the ones I've seen before. There are success story's and it can be beaten... Thank you so much and for everyone taking the time to help :-)