I'm struggling
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
You haven't lost the years you had sober. You're being really hard on yourself, which is what we do huh? But it doesn't help. Guilt, shame, fear, self-loathing? All counter productive. I believe those thoughts come from our addiction because those thoughts generally turn us back to alcohol....for 'relief' but that never works. Its a trick. Turn away from that thinking. Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve it....one day at a time, one right action at a time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by Jeni26 
I drank after coming up for 3 years...I had never quite got my mojo back after that really...the disappointment and sense of failure was so hard to shake off. I got a few months here and there, 10 months at one point, but I just couldn't maintain it. My last relapse at the end of Jan just knocked me for six and I reached my own personal rock bottom.
But I'm stronger than ever now. I really feel like I had no option but to pick myself up and get on with life. I'm 80 days sober tomorrow and I just know that my drinking days are over now.
You can do this. Just keep walking and never look back ❤️ Xx
But I'm stronger than ever now. I really feel like I had no option but to pick myself up and get on with life. I'm 80 days sober tomorrow and I just know that my drinking days are over now.
You can do this. Just keep walking and never look back ❤️ Xx
That's what scares me - that I'll never quite get past this. But I know I just have to put it behind me and move forward. I cannot let this get the better of me and definitely not going back to the way I was. too much to lose.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
You haven't lost the years you had sober. You're being really hard on yourself, which is what we do huh? But it doesn't help. Guilt, shame, fear, self-loathing? All counter productive. I believe those thoughts come from our addiction because those thoughts generally turn us back to alcohol....for 'relief' but that never works. Its a trick. Turn away from that thinking. Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself. You deserve it....one day at a time, one right action at a time.
You speak wisely. Those are the exact thoughts I'm having and the best way to get us to start drinking again. crazy hey 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Many congratulations on 80 days Jeni
That's what scares me - that I'll never quite get past this. But I know I just have to put it behind me and move forward. I cannot let this get the better of me and definitely not going back to the way I was. too much to lose.
That's what scares me - that I'll never quite get past this. But I know I just have to put it behind me and move forward. I cannot let this get the better of me and definitely not going back to the way I was. too much to lose.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Ready at Last,
I joined in 2012 as well, but never quite got sobriety to stick until this year. I had a few stretches of sobriety, but couldn't get past the 90 day mark. On NYE I knew I was going to make it stick this time, and have 112 days today.
You have completely turned your life around and inspired many. You did not lose that sober time. Don't let that one night throw you, I think Carl's post about knowing a relaps was coming was a good one. Take some time to te-evaluate what may have been going on and then put whatever additional supports you need in place.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️ Delilah
I joined in 2012 as well, but never quite got sobriety to stick until this year. I had a few stretches of sobriety, but couldn't get past the 90 day mark. On NYE I knew I was going to make it stick this time, and have 112 days today.
You have completely turned your life around and inspired many. You did not lose that sober time. Don't let that one night throw you, I think Carl's post about knowing a relaps was coming was a good one. Take some time to te-evaluate what may have been going on and then put whatever additional supports you need in place.
Sending lots of love your way.
❤️ Delilah
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Ready, I'm glad you came back here! I slipped and had a glass at about 7or 8 months sober. I was horrified and felt devastated. I immediately went to see my pdoc and we discussed it and I kept coming here. That was about a year ago and I've been sober ever since. It was a huge wake up call for me.
One of the things I discovered is that for me, kicking myself over a slip only seems to make it worse.
In cas you are interested, there is a video called "Pleasure Unwoven", available at a big on-line retailer that costs around $30. I found it to be very helpful in understanding my addiction. We watched it in my IOP and they also showed it on "family night" to help families better understand addiction.
Just commit for 24 hours at a time and get whatever help you need.
One of the things I discovered is that for me, kicking myself over a slip only seems to make it worse.
In cas you are interested, there is a video called "Pleasure Unwoven", available at a big on-line retailer that costs around $30. I found it to be very helpful in understanding my addiction. We watched it in my IOP and they also showed it on "family night" to help families better understand addiction.
Just commit for 24 hours at a time and get whatever help you need.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi RAL
I just wanted to re-ieterate what Courage and others have said - you haven;t thrown everything anyway.
You've made a bad choice or two in recent weeks maybe, but nothing you've learned or accomplished since 2012 is lost to you - unless you choose to wilfully lose it.
This is a mis-step - a reminder that the fight still goes on.
I know you can re-focus, re-commit, and stay sober
I just wanted to re-ieterate what Courage and others have said - you haven;t thrown everything anyway.
You've made a bad choice or two in recent weeks maybe, but nothing you've learned or accomplished since 2012 is lost to you - unless you choose to wilfully lose it.
This is a mis-step - a reminder that the fight still goes on.
I know you can re-focus, re-commit, and stay sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thanks Dee
Thank you all for your kind words. I slept better last night than I have all week. Maybe being honest with you has helped me more than I realize. I'm committed to sobriety again and nothing is more important than it. I can't change what I did last week but I can change how I move forward from it. I'm grateful for my sober life and realize how easily it could be lost.
Thank you all for your kind words. I slept better last night than I have all week. Maybe being honest with you has helped me more than I realize. I'm committed to sobriety again and nothing is more important than it. I can't change what I did last week but I can change how I move forward from it. I'm grateful for my sober life and realize how easily it could be lost.
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