Hello! Need to stop this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Hello! Need to stop this.
Hi Everyone, hope ya’ll are having a good day. I’m glad to be here and really hope to get a grip on my drinking problem and hope to post a lot as a diversion and help encourage others too.
I started drinking pretty heavy right out of college when I got into advertising. And it continued. I had to wine and dine alot of clients and the more I drank, the wittier and more engaging I became (in my eyes) What started out as social drinking increased with stress. Now, I am in my early 40's, a single parent to boy tweens and I feel like I’m living a double life.
I get off work, we go do sports, homework whatever and I romanticize my drinking to make it seem like I deserve that, or - "it's a beautiful night I should have this wine on the patio"..it's weird how I romanticize getting a buzz. But after I put my kids to bed, I don't sip, I gulp!
I hide my drinking and prefer to drink alone (unless I’m out to dinner with friends etc – I’ll have a few with dinner, making it appear I have my *hit together, but go home and down a bottle of wine etc. I feel pretty stressed out a lot of the time and have anxiety (I get awful panic attacks in the middle of the night – probably because I drink too much duh! Lol) I have been dating a great guy who doesn't drink that much and the couple times we did, I over did it and he mentioned how I became a different person, I was sarcastic and an ass.
I have tried to moderate but I binge every time. Anyway, I am putting a plan in place that I hope will stick. I bought some recovery books, mediation CD's, joined a gym that my boys can use too and we can use the basketball courts together. I’m tired of feeling like crap each morning and tired of trying to convince myself I that I can moderate. I have gone thru long periods of sober cycles before but the past 5 years it's been difficult. Surely this is not the life any of us ever really wanted.
Thanks for listening.
I started drinking pretty heavy right out of college when I got into advertising. And it continued. I had to wine and dine alot of clients and the more I drank, the wittier and more engaging I became (in my eyes) What started out as social drinking increased with stress. Now, I am in my early 40's, a single parent to boy tweens and I feel like I’m living a double life.
I get off work, we go do sports, homework whatever and I romanticize my drinking to make it seem like I deserve that, or - "it's a beautiful night I should have this wine on the patio"..it's weird how I romanticize getting a buzz. But after I put my kids to bed, I don't sip, I gulp!
I hide my drinking and prefer to drink alone (unless I’m out to dinner with friends etc – I’ll have a few with dinner, making it appear I have my *hit together, but go home and down a bottle of wine etc. I feel pretty stressed out a lot of the time and have anxiety (I get awful panic attacks in the middle of the night – probably because I drink too much duh! Lol) I have been dating a great guy who doesn't drink that much and the couple times we did, I over did it and he mentioned how I became a different person, I was sarcastic and an ass.
I have tried to moderate but I binge every time. Anyway, I am putting a plan in place that I hope will stick. I bought some recovery books, mediation CD's, joined a gym that my boys can use too and we can use the basketball courts together. I’m tired of feeling like crap each morning and tired of trying to convince myself I that I can moderate. I have gone thru long periods of sober cycles before but the past 5 years it's been difficult. Surely this is not the life any of us ever really wanted.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Welcome,
Much of your post sounds like myself years ago, I can tell you there are few if any on here that can moderate drinking, I know I have tried and it always led to a binge.
There is a tremendous amount of help and information here, I know for myself it took a few Detox trips to get it through my thick skull I could not drink that was after loosing pretty much everything including three six figure careers but that is the past and today I am very happy and sober.
One thing I would encourage you do do if you do want to quit for good is come up with a plan that will help you stay sober and keep posting, a wealth of help and no matter what there will always be people here that can relate to what you are going through.
Andrew
Much of your post sounds like myself years ago, I can tell you there are few if any on here that can moderate drinking, I know I have tried and it always led to a binge.
There is a tremendous amount of help and information here, I know for myself it took a few Detox trips to get it through my thick skull I could not drink that was after loosing pretty much everything including three six figure careers but that is the past and today I am very happy and sober.
One thing I would encourage you do do if you do want to quit for good is come up with a plan that will help you stay sober and keep posting, a wealth of help and no matter what there will always be people here that can relate to what you are going through.
Andrew
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Andrew thank you so much for the inspiration! I appreciate your insight and it's nice to hear from others that have made it thru. It's a beautiful spring evening here and I am not in my yard with champagne, just because it's a nice day. lol So that's a start. lol. Thanks again!
Originally Posted by ALinNS 
Welcome,
Much of your post sounds like myself years ago, I can tell you there are few if any on here that can moderate drinking, I know I have tried and it always led to a binge.
There is a tremendous amount of help and information here, I know for myself it took a few Detox trips to get it through my thick skull I could not drink that was after loosing pretty much everything including three six figure careers but that is the past and today I am very happy and sober.
One thing I would encourage you do do if you do want to quit for good is come up with a plan that will help you stay sober and keep posting, a wealth of help and no matter what there will always be people here that can relate to what you are going through.
Andrew
Much of your post sounds like myself years ago, I can tell you there are few if any on here that can moderate drinking, I know I have tried and it always led to a binge.
There is a tremendous amount of help and information here, I know for myself it took a few Detox trips to get it through my thick skull I could not drink that was after loosing pretty much everything including three six figure careers but that is the past and today I am very happy and sober.
One thing I would encourage you do do if you do want to quit for good is come up with a plan that will help you stay sober and keep posting, a wealth of help and no matter what there will always be people here that can relate to what you are going through.
Andrew
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
Hi Tx,
So is the job still an issue? Drinking doesn't have to be a part of being social. I think all alcoholics think that, but when you look around at a party or get together, there is often a large group of people that drink little to nothing.
So is the job still an issue? Drinking doesn't have to be a part of being social. I think all alcoholics think that, but when you look around at a party or get together, there is often a large group of people that drink little to nothing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Hi Least! Thank you so much!! Ugh what is it with wine. lol It amazes me how some people can just have a glass and sip it. ha!
I hope I am as strong as you, I feel like a hypocrite because I have said this before, but I really hope it's different this time. Thanks for your help and post. Means alot to me.
I hope I am as strong as you, I feel like a hypocrite because I have said this before, but I really hope it's different this time. Thanks for your help and post. Means alot to me.
Originally Posted by least
Welcome to the family. I was a wino too. Drank every day, in the end it was just to stave off the withdrawal.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
I was a wino too. Drank every day, in the end it was just to stave off the withdrawal. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Great to meet you, txwildflower.
I was just the same. Believe me, you are not alone. I thought it was the answer to everything - stress, worry, & to feel comfortable in social situations. Over the years I became dependent on it - never made a move without it. It ran my life. I never imagined something that was once fun & relaxing would become a necessity. It felt so good to get free of it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. Welcome!
I was just the same. Believe me, you are not alone. I thought it was the answer to everything - stress, worry, & to feel comfortable in social situations. Over the years I became dependent on it - never made a move without it. It ran my life. I never imagined something that was once fun & relaxing would become a necessity. It felt so good to get free of it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. Welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Hello Duane! It is to a degree, I have started to use excuses why I can't drink at all when I have to take clients out. Sometimes I feel like they can't connect with me as well if I am not drinking, like I am not fun anymore to them. You bring up a good point however that it may be just me thinking this and not them. Thank you for that!
Originally Posted by duane1
Hi Tx,
So is the job still an issue? Drinking doesn't have to be a part of being social. I think all alcoholics think that, but when you look around at a party or get together, there is often a large group of people that drink little to nothing.
So is the job still an issue? Drinking doesn't have to be a part of being social. I think all alcoholics think that, but when you look around at a party or get together, there is often a large group of people that drink little to nothing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Hevyn I love your avatar and quotes on your sig line, Thank you so much and I am really happy to hear there are others that were like me and succeeded! You're a true inspiration! Last week I said this week would be my last week. (roll eyes) Last week I went to my dr for the first time in years to explain my anxiety issues and asked for liver labs. I was always scared to do this because I have a lot of upper rib cage lately, I feel silly that I had a deadline in my head for when I would quit. (wanted to binge out last weekend one last time ) sad. Anyway, my labs are upper normal and they gave me xanax to try and calm myself down at night without alc. I feel hopeful for sure. Thank you again, really kind of you to take the time to be here for so many.
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Great to meet you, txwildflower.
I was just the same. Believe me, you are not alone. I thought it was the answer to everything - stress, worry, & to feel comfortable in social situations. Over the years I became dependent on it - never made a move without it. It ran my life. I never imagined something that was once fun & relaxing would become a necessity. It felt so good to get free of it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. Welcome!
I was just the same. Believe me, you are not alone. I thought it was the answer to everything - stress, worry, & to feel comfortable in social situations. Over the years I became dependent on it - never made a move without it. It ran my life. I never imagined something that was once fun & relaxing would become a necessity. It felt so good to get free of it. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life. Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
Hello, Tx! Welcome to SR. My life has some similarities with yours. 98% of my anxiety left with all the empty wine bottles. And, the alcohol money is better spent on gym membership and the overpriced basketball shoes my son "has" to have :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
I love Florida and I love camping! :-D Thanks for your post! You made me laugh. I can probably stop moaning about the cost of boys sport shoes when I don't have the wine costs anymore! :-D I'm happy to hear about the anxiety too!
Originally Posted by FLCamper
Hello, Tx! Welcome to SR. My life has some similarities with yours. 98% of my anxiety left with all the empty wine bottles. And, the alcohol money is better spent on gym membership and the overpriced basketball shoes my son "has" to have :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 29
Thanks so much FreeOwl! I am happy to be here and to come across wise souls like you! :-D
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
Welcome!
Sobriety will open your world to so much more.
Stick around.
Sobriety will open your world to so much more.
Stick around.
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