Is this my paranoia?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Is this my paranoia?
Ok, short background for those who don't know. I've had a psychosis about 10 years ago. With meds I got over it.
Recently it got back and I got on a low dose of seroquel. I've felt lucid, but now I'm wondering.
I feel like you all don't like me. There's no response to my sobriety song post, something that usually gets a lot of attention. Each time I post I feel like I'm being acknowledged and then pushed down in the slew of past and forgotten posts. I don't feel like I'm being taken seriously after my posts that I made while in a psychosis. That I'm not liked anymore and that no one really cares anymore.
I feel like this is paranoia and delusion coming up and I might have to call my doctor to up my meds.
But tell me honestly. And I truly mean honestly. Have you become less interested in me since my delusional posts and am I looked at differently?
If that is true, and I won't condemn anyone who says it is, then I don't need more medication. Medication that is potentially pretty harmful. I'm not saying that for any other reason than to make clear how important it is that my perceptions are clear.
Did my delusional posts make you lose interest in me and what I write? That's ok. And the way I feel. But I need to know since it's a matter of delusion or perceiving an accurate pattern.
Recently it got back and I got on a low dose of seroquel. I've felt lucid, but now I'm wondering.
I feel like you all don't like me. There's no response to my sobriety song post, something that usually gets a lot of attention. Each time I post I feel like I'm being acknowledged and then pushed down in the slew of past and forgotten posts. I don't feel like I'm being taken seriously after my posts that I made while in a psychosis. That I'm not liked anymore and that no one really cares anymore.
I feel like this is paranoia and delusion coming up and I might have to call my doctor to up my meds.
But tell me honestly. And I truly mean honestly. Have you become less interested in me since my delusional posts and am I looked at differently?
If that is true, and I won't condemn anyone who says it is, then I don't need more medication. Medication that is potentially pretty harmful. I'm not saying that for any other reason than to make clear how important it is that my perceptions are clear.
Did my delusional posts make you lose interest in me and what I write? That's ok. And the way I feel. But I need to know since it's a matter of delusion or perceiving an accurate pattern.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Plenty of people are responding to your posts Mike and being supportive. I'd talk with your doc if you think it might be paranoia
Keep in mind that there are a lot of people posting in the newcomers section and it takes time to view a link and listen to a song. Also remember that some people check SR from work and sites like youtube, etc might be blocked.
Keep in mind that there are a lot of people posting in the newcomers section and it takes time to view a link and listen to a song. Also remember that some people check SR from work and sites like youtube, etc might be blocked.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 51
I haven't been here long - just a few days, so I can't comment on whether it's real or perceived.
I did see your recovery song post and scanned it briefly but am at work and can't stay glued to my phone too long.
I just wanted you to know I SEE you.
BBB
I did see your recovery song post and scanned it briefly but am at work and can't stay glued to my phone too long.
I just wanted you to know I SEE you.
BBB
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Hi Mike
I don't know you yet, but having read here for a long time, I see there are lots of us. Maybe it's sheer numbers? I wouldn't read into it to be sure! I get moments like that too, but unfortunately, I think it's safe to assume most people are thinking about themselves most of the time.
Not sure if this makes you feel better - I certainly intend for it to. I think a lot of us tend to live in our heads (I know I do) and it makes it harder for us to really "see" other people - does that make sense?
I hope you feel better soon!
I don't know you yet, but having read here for a long time, I see there are lots of us. Maybe it's sheer numbers? I wouldn't read into it to be sure! I get moments like that too, but unfortunately, I think it's safe to assume most people are thinking about themselves most of the time.
Not sure if this makes you feel better - I certainly intend for it to. I think a lot of us tend to live in our heads (I know I do) and it makes it harder for us to really "see" other people - does that make sense?
I hope you feel better soon!
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
It's clear to me now that I need to talk to my doctor. I'm in a lucid moment and see that I dipped into psychosis again.
I'm glad that there's this place to say these things.
Calling the doctor in 2 seconds...
I'm glad that there's this place to say these things.
Calling the doctor in 2 seconds...
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I wouldn't take it personally. I know I've posted before and have received very little feedback. Could be the time of day, could be a boring post. Who knows.
More often than not when I post now I'm doing it to clear my head or to commit something in writing regarding how I feel.
If you feel you are experiencing psychosis, I would follow through on it.
More often than not when I post now I'm doing it to clear my head or to commit something in writing regarding how I feel.
If you feel you are experiencing psychosis, I would follow through on it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Mike
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know in early sobriety I am very sensitive. Little things can set me off. I've improved over the years but I used to be SOOOOO worried about what others thought of me. I'm a codependent and a people pleaser. What people thought of me is what I thought of me (or what I perceived they thought of me....which was often wrong). I'm learning that what other people think does not matter (as along as I'm being the best me I can be). Its what I think of me.
That being said, don't use your perceptions of what is happening here as a gauge for your psychological well being. Definitely see your dr. The dosage you are taking of Seroquel is pretty low for delusions....you are probably building up a resistance quickly.
Hang in there. You are doing great.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know in early sobriety I am very sensitive. Little things can set me off. I've improved over the years but I used to be SOOOOO worried about what others thought of me. I'm a codependent and a people pleaser. What people thought of me is what I thought of me (or what I perceived they thought of me....which was often wrong). I'm learning that what other people think does not matter (as along as I'm being the best me I can be). Its what I think of me.
That being said, don't use your perceptions of what is happening here as a gauge for your psychological well being. Definitely see your dr. The dosage you are taking of Seroquel is pretty low for delusions....you are probably building up a resistance quickly.
Hang in there. You are doing great.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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I'm still a fan!
I think part of it is that as the weather improves, people aren't online as much? Also I have noticed traffic slows down during weekends...
I'm glad you talked to your doctor, regardless...
I think part of it is that as the weather improves, people aren't online as much? Also I have noticed traffic slows down during weekends...
I'm glad you talked to your doctor, regardless...
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
Hi Mike - -I'm glad you're in contact with your doctor.
I don't think of you any differently ... I'm still glad to see you post. I notice that responses to my posts vary a lot with time of day, forum, subject ... I try not to take it personally, although that's hard sometimes.
I don't think of you any differently ... I'm still glad to see you post. I notice that responses to my posts vary a lot with time of day, forum, subject ... I try not to take it personally, although that's hard sometimes.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
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Originally Posted by MikeM 
I feel like you all don't like me. There's no response to my sobriety song post, something that usually gets a lot of attention.
Don't take it personally.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
I started seroquel a couple of months ago for Bi polar, it does have side effects which in my case went away after a week or so. I know in early sobriety I have to be very mindful as I can get pretty sensitive but haven been through this in the past I new what was going on.
Keep posting, Congrad's as you have come a long way in the past few months.
Andrew
Keep posting, Congrad's as you have come a long way in the past few months.
Andrew
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Give me a little while. I was experiencing some delusion. Fortunately I have a 24/7 line to my doctor and my dose of seroquel has been doubled.
Ah well, it's life. I don't really care unless I bother others with it. I need meds now and that's ok. I'm at 100 mg seroquel now, and it can go up to 600 I think. So if needed, I will up it more.
Bare with me.
Ah well, it's life. I don't really care unless I bother others with it. I need meds now and that's ok. I'm at 100 mg seroquel now, and it can go up to 600 I think. So if needed, I will up it more.
Bare with me.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Originally Posted by ALinNS
I started seroquel a couple of months ago for Bi polar, it does have side effects which in my case went away after a week or so. I know in early sobriety I have to be very mindful as I can get pretty sensitive but haven been through this in the past I new what was going on.
Keep posting, Congrad's as you have come a long way in the past few months.
Andrew
Keep posting, Congrad's as you have come a long way in the past few months.
Andrew
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think a lot of us are very sensitive and self-conscious in early recovery Mike - I remember being so and I see it here all the time.
Obviously, though, psychosis is not something I have experience with, so I'm glad you have your Dr on call
D
Obviously, though, psychosis is not something I have experience with, so I'm glad you have your Dr on call
D
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Per your other thread, you asked for a study with scientific papers:
Quetiapine decreases alcohol consumption, craving, and psychiatric symptoms in dually diagnosed alcoholics.
DISCUSSION:
In this open-label study, quetiapine decreased alcohol consumption, craving for alcohol, and psychiatric symptoms intensity, maintaining a good level of tolerance. A strength of this study is that the use of quetiapine was not adjunctive with other pharmacological and non-pharmacological treatment. Double-blind placebo-controlled studies are required with a larger study population to confirm these data. In the meantime, for a select group of psychiatric patients, quetiapine may offer some advantages in preventing relapse.
My point is not to discredit you, my point is that depending on who is funding the study, you can get the desired result.
Quetiapine decreases alcohol consumption, craving, and psychiatric symptoms in dually diagnosed alcoholics.
DISCUSSION:
In this open-label study, quetiapine decreased alcohol consumption, craving for alcohol, and psychiatric symptoms intensity, maintaining a good level of tolerance. A strength of this study is that the use of quetiapine was not adjunctive with other pharmacological and non-pharmacological treatment. Double-blind placebo-controlled studies are required with a larger study population to confirm these data. In the meantime, for a select group of psychiatric patients, quetiapine may offer some advantages in preventing relapse.
My point is not to discredit you, my point is that depending on who is funding the study, you can get the desired result.
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