Proper messed things up.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2
Proper messed things up.
Hi all. First post here...although I've been reading posts here for a couple of years (yes I've been that long in the 'yes I have a problem..no I can't do anything about it' phase for that long!) Well having spent all of my adult life drinking socially (I'm just 40) things spiralled last couple of years. It's been stressful and I've been using alcohol as a coping method for circumstances, anxiety, depresion etc. Lately started hiding drink from friends and family...I've managed to keep it secret from everyone including my husband by outwardly drinking so much and in secret drinking much more. So on Saturday I was arrested for driving under the infuence of alcohol. (Faulty rear light on car got me pulled over) I genuinely thought I was OK to drive and was shocked when I failed the breathaliser. Clearly judgment was impaired. (I had wanted to down a couple a large glasses of wine so I could go home and "open a bottle for a glass". ) Spent 6 hours in a police cell.....went home and came clean to my husband about my problem (he was amazing) Also had to tell my family and my employers etc. Gonna get banned from driving in a couple of weeks. Basically although on one level I know this is a good thing.... that's me done now and I must have needed this as I've not succeeded before as I had no accountability but now I do to lots of people. But I'm struggling with the sense of failure and shame....around the arrest and the secrets and lies I've told my loved ones.
It's been 3 days...no desire to drink yet. First aa tomorrow morning. I guess I just want to connect to people who understand the guilt and sense of failing at coping with life? I wish I had had the strength to sort this before the arrest......
It's been 3 days...no desire to drink yet. First aa tomorrow morning. I guess I just want to connect to people who understand the guilt and sense of failing at coping with life? I wish I had had the strength to sort this before the arrest......
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
I'm sorry this happened but it sounds like you are ready to deal with the problem. Hopefully you will continue to read and post and find support here. The guilt and shame is a big part of alcoholism and it serves to keep us hooked. It's important to be able to move on from those feelings and work on recovery. Is there a particular reason why you told your employer? Just wondering.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Welcome Stoffy, glad you are here. I'm sure you've already considered this, but it could have been so much worse. One day this DUI will be a distant memory. Fortunately you didn't hurt yourself or anyone else, and you are facing your addiction now.
I'm glad your family is supportive, that means a lot. You will find lots of support here, too. You are among people that care and understand. You haven't failed, you are choosing to succeed by doing what is needed to restart your life ☺
I'm glad your family is supportive, that means a lot. You will find lots of support here, too. You are among people that care and understand. You haven't failed, you are choosing to succeed by doing what is needed to restart your life ☺
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