BlueBlueBird

It's got a cal from my 13 yr old daughter from school. Without going into a lot detail, I'll just say she's been under treatment for a severe mental condition for several years and we work hard to manage her emotions in a way that allows her to continue to go to regular classes in public school but it's a constant battle.

Today was tears, anger, a talk with the principal, etc. it stresses me out. Makes me sick to my stomach. Makes me angry. Makes me want to drink.

My AV is telling me that surely, after this, I deserve a single glass of wine tonight. I put sobriety plan in place for today but didn't consider this happening. It's definitely going to need some extra work. Still not planning to drink today.

Fabela

I understand that this is difficult for you. Glad that you reach out here.

AnvilheadII

imagine the handbook we'd have to carry our "sobriety commitment" in if it covered EVERY eventuality???? that's the thing....we are either planning to NOT drink today NO MATTER WHAT......or we are just looking for an excuse.

why not consider the example you set for your daughter in how to deal with difficult, stressful days and events? i'm sure SHE TOO is quite upset.....how is SHE dealing?

doggonecarl

What would a "single" glass of wine do to change the situation one iota?

And if you could drink a "single" glass of wine, you wouldn't be here. Why not do something with your daughter that will help both of you feel better.

BlueBlueBird

You're right, we either decide to drink or we don't, but what's helped me tremendously is, as much as possible, looking at the day ahead, identifying what could be a trigger for me, and putting a plan in place to mitigate them in order to support my goal to not drink. Now that I know how quickly this affected me, I'll be better prepared next time.

Anna

I hope that you and your daughter can both find some peace.

FormerWineGirl

I'm sorry for your difficult situation, and when your kids are involved it puts things on a whole other level. I know its hard, but please stay strong!

thomas11

Alcohol makes everything worse.

least

Do something fun with your daughter. Show her how you handle stress without drinking over it.

2muchpain

Great attitude!! Being thrown off guard in early sobriety is really tough to deal with, cause your AV is just itching for a reason to drink. That happened to me many times, but each time I learned from it and was better prepared on how to deal with unexpected problems. Today, I'm better prepared for unexpected things that come up.
Hope you and your daughter feel better soon. John

tomsteve

imo, its not the situation that makes you feel like drinking.
its not knowing(yet) how to handle the situation like a sober adult.

learning how to be a responsible,sober adult was quite frustrating. alcohol was my solution for everything.
so i thought. but in reality it was a solution for nothing.

unless the solution involved gloom, dispair, and agony.

but i was able to learn.

BlueBlueBird

Maybe. But it's not so much dealing with it sober. Even when I was drinking I handled all this sober - I rarely drank before my daughter went to bed and if I did it was maybe a single glass of wine. I think it's more that I know after I deal with it, there's no release/get away/way to shut down afterwards.

amazingjoy

This IS a release/get away/way to wind down or shut down...you just have to figure out what that new way is for you. It could be any of a million things...from exercise, stretching, music, reading, going online to SR, screaming? Whatever you figure out that really helps you...

Soberwolf

Drinking will not make things better x

BlueBlueBird

Thanks everyone. Just as an update:

Last night sucked.

But I didn't drink.

amazingjoy

Yay!!!