whopper

Hi, I was drinking on and off. Stopped thurs, then yesterday (sun) I was at a all time low. I couldn't help it but drink yesterday and today. Yesterday I was in such a bad mood that I posted stuff on facebook which I regret. I got up this morning and deleted everything but most ppl saw it already Why did I do that? I was feeling so low and miserable before I drank, I just hate feeling like that and posting stuff I would hardly say face to face while drunk, let alone sober. I also had a freak out this morning with my parents. Everything is good now, but this morning was not. I also felt like I was having a nervous breakdown this afternoon while showering, but I managed to keep my composure and I am good now. I felt like I should go to the hospital at that time.

I just want to be normal and want this stuff to end. I don't have much of a life and drinking is my life right now, and when I stop, my life stops. I just want to have friends and do social stuff but I don't have friends and then I drink, and that's how it goes with me.

doggonecarl

Doesn't sound like you have much of a life drinking, at least not a pleasant life.

I think if you could bear with the inital discomfort of early recovery, you might be surprised how much better life can be sober. Not two days sober, but several months.

Try it.

Anna

I think you would find that your life would open up if you stop drinking and that you might find more interests and more people to share your life with. You're right, stopping drinking is very hard initially, but you can get beyond that.

Dee74

I think it takes a leap of faith to believe that your life wont actually stop, it will just change.

My life was all about drinking, so that life had to change.

I built a new life not about drinking...it took a little while, but I really needed that time to sort myself out anyway.

I was lucky I had friends who weren't drinking buddies - do you have any of those whopper?

D

whopper

I felt so low yesterday that I didn't know what else to do. I drank, but it didn't make things better. Today I felt really low too. Thought I would have to go to the hospital cause of the way I felt. But now I feel fine. Its like what the heck was I crying about? I just want to feel the way I feel right now (normal) and not freak out and do something I would regret.

least

Drinking will never 'make things better', in fact, will always make them worse.

My life got so much better after I'd been sober for a few months. Now it's better than it's ever been.

whopper

I don't have any real friends besides one. I am a loner. My only friend I have, I talked with, and I told her everything. She told me to go see a doctor for help with depression issues. I think I might just go tomorrow to my doc and talk with him because I can't go on being normal right now, yet 2 hours ago I was ready to go the hospital with a mental breakdown. I was in tears and feeling that low ain't right. I felt like I could just go to a mental institution. But now I am fine.

Delizadee

I think talking to a Dr would be a great idea.
Have you thought about counseling?
Just a thought- AA is a great place to meet sober peeps and potentially new friends and allies in your journey to sobriety. Why not try a few meetings? What do you have to lose by trying it out?

And I know it's hard feeling alone and down. Drinking was my coping mechanism for so long and really it's no answer to wanting happiness and friends who care about me in life. It can get better tho

whopper

Hi, yes I was recommended to go to a AA meeting from here as well. I think I will have to go to a meeting this week, might be best for me. I mean what do I have to lose? I did check and they have a meeting close by, I guess its time I attend.

Delizadee

I was very anti-AA for a long time. When I finally went every group I went to I was so welcomed and there was so much understanding and empathy in those rooms. Not every group or meeting is perfect but everyone there came from a bad place too. It turned out to be a great lift for me, and helped me get past some heavy shame.

AdelineRose

That is where you were wrong, you could decide not to drink yesterday and today, you just choose not to.

I have found that when I start keeping myself accountable for all my actions I started to view things different. No one made you drink, no situation can make you drink, no mood can make you drink.. the only thing that can make you drink is yourself. When you decide to make drinking not an option, you will find there are other ways to cope with your feelings.

If you want friends and things to do socially there are ALWAYS meetings. There you can meet friends and you will find things to do. Maybe you should go to a doctor and find a counselor to help get you started, I know that was a huge help for myself.

Everyday is a new day and a fresh start, maybe it is time to make a plan for what you are going to do different to avoid days like this which make you so miserable in the end.

Keep your head up, you can do this!