Lauraxxx

So depsite all your kind words and help i relapsed. Coke and deink sat and a bit yeaterday. I now have no money my nose is a mess it bled a lot and im so tired and feel like crap. I feel worhtless and pathetic i told my parents not to come yesterday cos i was hungiver and using. I dont know why i keep doing this but it has to change. Im so sorry to everyone

doggonecarl

Your addicted. Plain and simple. You had a good run with a few days clean, but I'm not sure trying to get clean and sober on your own is giving you the coping skills you need to navigate a sober life.

Give some thought to face to face support. You said that wasn't possible in a previous post, but if it's possible to get drugs and drink, then its possible to do what it takes to recover. You just have to be sick enough of your current condition to want to change it.

Everydaysabonus

No human is worthless. We all have greatness inside us we are born with it and it never dies, it just gets masked by layers of bad experiences and negativity.
You don't owe us or have to explain to any of us. You just owe your sober self. Peel away those layers and find your inner strength, you might like who you really are.
One day at a time.

kittycat3

I'm here with you and I can relate. You are not alone.

least

In order to stay clean and sober you have to want to be clean and sober more than you want to drink or use. I hope you get to that point soon.

Delilah1

Hi Laura,

Least's words are very true. You can do this, however, you may need to put some more supports in place for yourself. If that doesn't work an impatient rehab may be what you need to get some sober time behind you, and you will leave with a plan to remain that way.

You can do this!

❤️ Delilah

Meraviglioso

i am so sorry Laura, I know what it feels like to be there, in that terrible cycle of wanting to stop yet choosing time and time again to do things that make us feel terrible about ourselves. Some people can get out of that cycle using SR as a resource and will power alone but Know they are few fan far between. Most other People had to add some other form of support to that to help them through- AA SMART or other meetings, or seeing a psychologist. I tried a variety of things, I certainly wouldn't put myself in the "successful" category just yet, but I went to inpatient rehab and feel a completely new person, stronger than ever to fight this. It a something I would recommend to anyone who can't seem to just stop.

2muchpain

Sorry to hear your going through such a tough time Laura. It just shows how strong your addiction is. I really urge you to get as much outside help as possible. Your fighting a battle that's really hard to do on your own. I know it's a big step to reach out, but the alternative is continuing to go through what your going through now. You got to do this Laura. John

Anna

Laura, the best thing you can do now is to learn from what happened. Think about what you can add to your tools for dealing with sobriety. And, use those new tools.

You are worth all the hard work that recovery will take.

Bekindalways

Laura, squeeze out all the wisdom and motivation you can from this latest relapse. What happened leading up to it? What was your AV saying? How could you have gone in a different direction?

Healing and courage to you beautiful woman.

Flawed

I think we all have been there. It's not the matter of times you fall, it's the matter of times you get back up. I had several false starts before this last time. And I absolutely agree with the others, you have got to get as many sober tools as possible.

Soberwolf

Glad your here with us Laura are you going CA or AA ?

Lauraxxx

Thaabk you everyone. I dont go to ca cos i cant fit it in around my schedule at all. I know i need to try harder but its too much and last time i went i went and scoredstraight away. Also leading up to it i felt alone like whats the point i might as well do it xx

Midwest1981

Laura- we all are here for you. I hope you try sobriety again. Check into the April class when you need support too. Glad to see you posting.

Mountainmanbob

You remind me of me back in the old days. Just starting over with our clean and sober date is what works best for us. It will be better for you once you get some clean time under your belt.
Mountainman

doggonecarl

When I realized I always found the time to get high and drink, I realized I could find the time to engage in my recovery.

AnvilheadII

Triple thanks button to Doggonecarl's post.....we find exactly as much time as we need for what we WANT to do.

the drugs are never going to fill that empty space inside you, in fact, they will just make it bigger. you don't need to keep doing that to yourself anymore, there IS a solution.

Lauraxxx

Thank you guys if i get the chance im going to pop in and ask gor help and i may even start going to church on sundays what do u think? Xx

AnvilheadII

Problem: I now have no money my nose is a mess it bled a lot and im so tired and feel like crap. I feel worhtless and pathetic


Solution: if i get the chance im going to pop in and ask gor help and i may even start going to church on sundays

does this sound like someone who is taking this as seriously as the problem demands?


IF you get the CHANCE? we aren't talking about the produce stand on the corner that has a sale on green beans.......we are talking about a deadly disease that will not stop without IMMEDIATE ACTION.

life1681

Laura, don't beat yourself up we all have been there I can't tell you how many times I relapsed before this run of sobriety, get up dust yourself off and move forward but most important. Forgive yourself. You coming back and telling us about your relapse proves to me at least that you really do want to beat this.