Notices

Just quit and never look back.

Old 04-16-2016, 11:01 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
PinotNOmore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Just quit and never look back.

Those were the exact words out of my husband's mouth today. I think the exact words were "I don't see why it's so hard", and "no need to say 6 months sober or one year sober. Just do it and never look back. " Gaaaa if ONLY it were that easy. My husband is frustrated with me. He's frustrated with my "quit dates" my "promises" and my behavior when I don't keep those promises. I don't blame him for his lack of empathy, but I really wish he had a little more understanding of how hard this commitment really is. Anyhoo, I'm setting my quit date for Monday April 18th. I've been drinking on and off...weeks on, weeks off. So I know I can quit on my own. Having a few drinks tonight. Less tomorrow. And then it's go time! ...for the hundredth time. But I really freaking want this... So badly........
PinotNOmore is offline  
Old 04-16-2016, 11:10 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delizadee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
This can be your last time, if you make up your mind to do it. And have a good recovery plan in place
Delizadee is offline  
Old 04-16-2016, 11:18 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
Why are you drinking tonight and tomorrow? Why not just start now?
noneever is offline  
Old 04-16-2016, 11:23 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
PinotNOmore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by noneever View Post
Why are you drinking tonight and tomorrow? Why not just start now?
That's fantastic question! Today was going to be my start date. Actually January 1st was going to be my start date. Then a 100 days between then and now. I have a thing with odd numbers, and weekends. So after 9 days sober over last week and screwing it up, Monday seems like my best bet. Qutting on an odd date would just be giving me an excuse to pick up again. Sounds crazy I know.
PinotNOmore is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 01:27 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I hope you succeed this time.
least is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 03:24 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
ALinNS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
I know in counseling I found it hard to listen to people that had not experienced what it was like to be an alcoholic, for me this is why I feel at home on these forums as posters know what I am experiencing and I enjoy reading their posts and stories as I can relate to just about anything and everything when it comes to booze.

I agree with the others, why not start today and put a cork in the bottle and throw it off a cliff, walk away and never look back, we can help and encourage you on your journey to recovery, the bottom line in my opinion is it's impossible to help someone who is not at the point where they are willing to quit and fight for their sobriety as it is hard work at first but it does get easier with time.

Andrew
ALinNS is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 04:45 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
It isn't 'not drinking' that's difficult. It's being happy without it that is tricky. Until you're comfortable leaving it behind you'll struggle no matter what the calendar says.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 04:56 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Evienne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: the Low Lands
Posts: 113
I get the thing with the dates. I actually quit on April fools. To ironically emphasize I wasn't kidding this time.

If you really want monday to be day one, and not today, maybe you can skip the drinks tonight, and have just one tomorrow to say farewell forever? I for one would hate for something bad to happen to you because you went and drank too much tonight or tomorrow.
Evienne is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 05:08 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,961
I'm with your husband on this. Just quit already.

Yes, it's incredibly hard. But it can be done. Or it can be made even harder, which seems to be your route.

Good luck on this go.
doggonecarl is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 05:19 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
aasharon90's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,201
Is there alcohol in your home?

To be successful in your recovery would
mean to become responsible for you and
your own recovery program. To take charge
and arm yourself with knowledge learned
about your addiction to alcohol and apply
a helpful program of recovery to guide you
along with each step you take.

Surround yourself with your own army
of fellow members that learned themselves
to remain sober a day at a time to help
you, support you, understand you and
can communicate with you.

No one will better understand an alcohol
more than another alcoholic that is living
in recovery.

Family and friends that don't have a
problem or addiction to alcohol or drugs
will not understand you or us as sad as
it may seem, but it is true. But don't
blame them, or hold a resentment towards
those who don't understand us.

Ive been there and I didn't get that
support, understanding or communication
from family members that I truly wanted,
and had to seek out what I needed and
wanted to help me thru other recovery
members all along the way for 25 yrs now.

I realized today from reading another
members post about detaching with
love. Back when I entered recovery,
my husband at that time went to alanon
and picked up the word detachment
and used it on me. That pizzed me off
as I carried a resentment for many yrs.

Carrying resentments can hold us back
from growing and maturing in a healthy
way in recovery. Today after reading
that important phrase, detach with love,
I can now detach my family and those
without addiction recovery knowledge,
with love.

I can now use it to my own advantage.
What comes around, goes around.
Detachment with love, forgiveness
and understanding.

Take charge of your own recovery
because no one else will do it better
that you. If alcohol in the house cause
triggers for you in learning to remain
sober each day, then have it removed.

If its not an option, then arm yourself
with lots of recovery amore to ward
off all temptations lurking in your home.

This is your recovery life and it will
be your willingness, openmindness
as well as honesty to protect it because
this gift belongs to you.

Also there are many other recovery
programs available to all members
in the family if they choose to attend
to help get the entire family healthy
and happy as a family unit.
aasharon90 is online now  
Old 04-17-2016, 05:39 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You've set a lot of "quit dates" over your time coming here Pinot. What will you do differently to make this one acutally be the one where you quit?

Saying you will quit "tomorrow" while you are still drinking and actually quitting are completely different things of course.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 05:44 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,326
This morning is a very good time to quit.
Anna is online now  
Old 04-17-2016, 05:54 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
thenewguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
Posts: 184
I was more in line with your husbands line of thinking; I quit on 8/23/13 and never look back.

But that was out of desperation; my withdrawals had gone from bad to worse, and my health was sinking fast. I hope you can make today your last for the sake of your health and sanity.

Regards.
thenewguy is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 06:24 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Reality...what a concept!
 
Vinificent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Hi Pinot -
Today is as good a day as any. Be grateful you have the support of your spouse, and take others advice by removing all the alcohol from your home. Definitely take full advantage of any support available.

If the thoughts of all your previous "failed starts" are holding you back, then try not to think about it that way. I will share what has helped me, as I have had a few "day ones" myself and agree they can be quite frustrating and a motivation killer.

Think back to when you realized you had a problem with alcohol.

That is the beginning of your journey.

Then try to think about what happened between the time you decided to quit and when you slipped/relapsed. What can you do to change that or keep it from happening again?

Think about your longest times between lapses and what worked during those times. Realize you did it then and you CAN do it again!

Build those sober muscles 💪
Vinificent is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 06:37 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Recognizes the Beast
 
nomis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
I was watching the movie Groundhog Day last night. Funny that, there was no tomorrow and every day was the exact same.
nomis is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 06:39 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
That's one of my favorite movies.
Fabela is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 06:46 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Hawkeye13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,371
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore View Post
Those were the exact words out of my husband's mouth today. I think the exact words were "I don't see why it's so hard", and "no need to say 6 months sober or one year sober. Just do it and never look back. " Gaaaa if ONLY it were that easy. My husband is frustrated with me. He's frustrated with my "quit dates" my "promises" and my behavior when I don't keep those promises. I don't blame him for his lack of empathy, but I really wish he had a little more understanding of how hard this commitment really is. Anyhoo, I'm setting my quit date for Monday April 18th. I've been drinking on and off...weeks on, weeks off. So I know I can quit on my own. Having a few drinks tonight. Less tomorrow. And then it's go time! ...for the hundredth time. But I really freaking want this... So badly........
You know, my husband got tired of my promises and relapses too.
I don't blame him--this thing almost cost me my marriage
How are you changing your plan from before since it hasn't worked so far?
Still drinking today sends a message you still aren't ready from what I can see.

I had to really up my game to get it done at all costs.
Hawkeye13 is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 06:59 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,021
Hi Pinot,

I'm glad you are here and posting, and planning to stop drinking. I also think today is a great day to quit. Sunday is the first day of the new week, you will wake up sober on Monday for the first day of the work week, and will be one day further on your journey to sobriety.

I'm sure to you it seems your husband isn't being supportive, it is possible he is doubting whether you will actually stop based on the past. I have had several day ones as well, and decided this year would be different and stopped drinking NYE so January 1st is my day one. It hasn't always been easy, but I have been vigilant about my plan and when thoughts of drinking have popped into my head, and unfortunately they have, I did something/anything else: went for a walk, played outside with the kids, read, journaled, logged on here...

You can do this, and it is worth it. Make today your day one.

❤️ Delilah
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 07:16 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,859
PNM, I'm not sure how much you've been keeping up with threads lately but we have had a couple members of our community decide that they needed treatment in order to get the tools needed for sobriety. They were tired of Day Ones, too.

Hope you'll consider that option. Everyone deserves a life free of addiction.
Venecia is offline  
Old 04-17-2016, 07:31 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Venecia View Post
PNM, I'm not sure how much you've been keeping up with threads lately but we have had a couple members of our community decide that they needed treatment in order to get the tools needed for sobriety. They were tired of Day Ones, too.

Hope you'll consider that option. Everyone deserves a life free of addiction.
Venecia makes a great point...sometimes we need help to get through the initial phase. You yourself brought this up back in January that if you were still struggling in a month, you were going to seek rehab. Did you follow through on options with your parents and husband as you planned to ?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-succeed.html
ScottFromWI is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:35 AM.