No pain no gain
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
No pain no gain
In one of my less than successful rehabs the psychologist had a chart with 3 concentric circles. The middle was comfort, the next was uncomfort/growth, and the 3rd was panic.
He explained it was critical to live in uncomfort/growth circle as much as possible if we had any hope of recovery. He went on to explain that the things that we most resisted or brought us to the edge of panic were the things that were most important for us to work on. He was right. I absolutely resisted the notion I could never drink again so eventually I did.
Over my years here I have heard I don't like this or that. I don't know about anyone else but I cant think of one thing I liked about getting sober. Everything made me feel uncomfortable. I realize now I didn't like it because I was being forced to grow and change. I didn't like it and disagreed with a lot of it but I started doing what people with long term sobriety did
When I did these things my life improved and the more I did the better things got.
I now have been sober for awhile and I still actively try to stay in the uncomfort/grow zone. Nobody ever said we needed to like change but as much as I dislike it the results have brought me a better life than I could have imagined
He explained it was critical to live in uncomfort/growth circle as much as possible if we had any hope of recovery. He went on to explain that the things that we most resisted or brought us to the edge of panic were the things that were most important for us to work on. He was right. I absolutely resisted the notion I could never drink again so eventually I did.
Over my years here I have heard I don't like this or that. I don't know about anyone else but I cant think of one thing I liked about getting sober. Everything made me feel uncomfortable. I realize now I didn't like it because I was being forced to grow and change. I didn't like it and disagreed with a lot of it but I started doing what people with long term sobriety did
When I did these things my life improved and the more I did the better things got.
I now have been sober for awhile and I still actively try to stay in the uncomfort/grow zone. Nobody ever said we needed to like change but as much as I dislike it the results have brought me a better life than I could have imagined
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Dee74 
don't you find it comfortable now tho MIR?
more or less, most of the time?
D
more or less, most of the time?
D
Granted your child dying is a one in a million but we never know when a bomb is going to be dropped on us.
More than anything else I am saying that change is uncomfortable painful but absolutely necessary. Going outside of our comfort zone many times takes only a moment but has a lifetime of results.
I have found that the things that I don't want to do, the things that make me angry are exactly the things I need to work on.
When I'm not moving forward I'm moving backwards.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 773
I like the three concentric circles idea. I can see how it applies not just to sobriety but most facets of life. If you want a different result or outcome be it sobriety, career, physical endeavors, etc... You have to step out Maude of the comfort of what you currently know and trust the process. Find the balance of discomfort that you can manage and hat doesn't send you into panic mode.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
Think it depends where you are in sobriety with relation to growing with the 12 steps , I have had quite a few really bad times in the past and the efforts I had put in previously helped me through those episodes , basically the 12 step program power, in my opinion works throughout adversity , and its my belief that I grow in strength once I have came through whatever life has thrown up , acceptance ? its easy to say acceptance is the answer ''as it is '' but accepting the things we cannot change does not mean we are pleased about it .
The benefits of going to any lengths at the outset of my journey to date has proven to be the solution to handling very trying times and I believe that trusting my Higher Power to help me through has been the major difference .
I am 100% certain that without God and the 12 Steps in my life today saved my life, as I would never ever have survived these hardships under my own steam, with my old ideas especially , change ''must take place'' from within, or we are left with an unmanageable life, and any trials or tribulations that confront us will eventually overpower us and we will certainly turn to alcohol to ease our pain because booze was the solution to blocking out reality in my case .
Throughout my drinking I hit various ''first time bottoms '' whereas I said before ''I would never do that '' but when you do so a couple of times it becomes a way of life, as does always doing the wrong thing become a way of life, and we keep on doing it , bad thing happens when drinking ? accept it and carry on drinking and rationalizing and justifying our vision of the ''only life we know '' become our normality .
AA has a solution which involves change and it gives us a choice , because before, there was no choice due to our old ideas , AA promises a ''new way of life '' it does not promise a life free from adversity , along with the 12 Steps HP , the''Serenity Prayer always comes to my rescue and sees me through , but the good times far outweigh the hard times and I am extremely grateful today .
You are doing well M I R , and proof of the power of the program if applied , take care ,
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006
The benefits of going to any lengths at the outset of my journey to date has proven to be the solution to handling very trying times and I believe that trusting my Higher Power to help me through has been the major difference .
I am 100% certain that without God and the 12 Steps in my life today saved my life, as I would never ever have survived these hardships under my own steam, with my old ideas especially , change ''must take place'' from within, or we are left with an unmanageable life, and any trials or tribulations that confront us will eventually overpower us and we will certainly turn to alcohol to ease our pain because booze was the solution to blocking out reality in my case .
Throughout my drinking I hit various ''first time bottoms '' whereas I said before ''I would never do that '' but when you do so a couple of times it becomes a way of life, as does always doing the wrong thing become a way of life, and we keep on doing it , bad thing happens when drinking ? accept it and carry on drinking and rationalizing and justifying our vision of the ''only life we know '' become our normality .
AA has a solution which involves change and it gives us a choice , because before, there was no choice due to our old ideas , AA promises a ''new way of life '' it does not promise a life free from adversity , along with the 12 Steps HP , the''Serenity Prayer always comes to my rescue and sees me through , but the good times far outweigh the hard times and I am extremely grateful today .
You are doing well M I R , and proof of the power of the program if applied , take care ,
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
yup, i found the easier softer way is to face that which makes me uncomfortable and go through it rather than avoid it.
today i feel its called life and being a responsable, accountable adult.
and so much better than avoiding those feeling, emotions, and actions and blaming everything and everyone.
life is good!
even during the rough times.
today i feel its called life and being a responsable, accountable adult.
and so much better than avoiding those feeling, emotions, and actions and blaming everything and everyone.
life is good!
even during the rough times.
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