Impossibledays

Last night I drank. Had one, made another, got halfway through it and got disgusted with myself and poured it out. Spent most of today beating myself up and then analyzing why I let myself drink and figuring out how to deal with the trigger that brought those thoughts of drinking on. It was Friday night, long week, I "deserved" it, blah blah blah.

Now I'm more determined to be sober. I've managed 22 sober days out of the last month,
after 10 years-more or less - of nightly drinking, I like my sober days so much more than the alcohol. I've beaten cancer twice, I cannot let vodka be the death of me.looks like I will be here a lot!

Dee74

hi impossibledays

I always recommend a plan - if you know Fridays are a particularly dangerous time, why not start to make a plan for next Friday night now?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

waywardson8260

There is a lot of support here for you. Yes I think it is time to get sober. It is difficult at times and is a long journey but you can do it.

Anna

I agree with Dee that planning is so important, and can be especially helpful in the early days.

OfEpiphany

just hop on the band wagon again and be as persistent as ever. don't ever stop quitting. this is the key.

least

I hope this time you can get sober for good. It's worth it.

AdelineRose

First off, give yourself a lot of credit for being honest about slipping up and then give yourself some credit for pouring out that second drink and making the decision that no, this is not what you want out of life. That is pretty damn huge in my book.

I also agree planning helps. Sometimes I sign up for classes like painting, yoga, dance, on weekends because I find that the days drag the most on weekends because I have more free time. I have also found counseling has really helped me prepare myself for weak moments.

A slip up is not the end, everyday we wake up and decide to drink/use or not. Today doesn't have to mean tomorrow isn't going to be a sober day.

Nevermind that you have beaten cancer not once or twice..you are capable of ANYTHING. Remember that feeling you had when you were fighting cancer? The feeling of THIS IS NOT MY END I WILL BEAT THIS, that pure feeling of determination that you would not be beaten by cancer and that you had so much more you wanted out of life? - to feel, experience, do? Drinking is a million times more dangerous than cancer, we just don't look at it that way. You beat cancer TWICE...YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. It is all about deciding you won't be beat, this won't be your end, and that you don't want today not be your last and you want a tomorrow more than anything.

keep moving forward, you are a lot stronger than you think

Delilah1

Glad you poured out the second drink, and that you came right back on here. I hope you are doing well today!!

Impossibledays

Thank you all so so much. I'm thinking of making Friday nights "library night"- Before I started drinking, I spent a lot of time at the local library (I'm a book nerd). It's one of my favorite places to go, and drinking in the evenings squashed that. Saturdays and Sundays haven't been that difficult so far, but I think figuring out a plan for those days would be a good idea, too.

And I will be stopping by here to check in many times a day, whether I need to find support- I hope to be in the right frame of mind to give support as well. This place is going to be a huge part of keeping me on the right track. I need the accountability.

I'm really looking forward to a good, sober sleep tonight. I am grateful tonight for Sleepytime tea and melatonin.

immri

I like to spend time in libraries too - sounds like a great idea to me!

Thumpalumpacus

Good of your to get back on the horse and continue riding.

Stay strong, brotha.

AdelineRose

Since getting sober I am always at the library, I take out so many books that I daily am so grateful libraries exist and that I don't have to pay for all the books I read.

Soberwolf

Glad your here with us

thomas11

I believe there is a positive to be taken away from pouring that 2nd drink out. It is a good sign. Maybe you've had enough and are just plain ready to put the madness behind you for good.

AnvilheadII

i noticed you said you MADE a drink and then another......might be super helpful to get any booze OUT of the house as part of your plan.

Dave42001

Your program is working from what I see! Don't beat yourself up, learn from it! Also sharing about it here.. You're growing in a good way!!