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PMS and miserable

Old 04-16-2016, 02:38 AM
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PMS and miserable

Im starting to feel unwell again, but have established a link between my mood and that of PMS. Its horrible. I feel so unhappy, just about everything, at this time of the month everything is magnified.

My husbands relationship with our son is horrendous, he swears at him calls him names, and in turn my son is responding in the same way. I feel angry because I said to my husband that if I was going to make decison to stop drinking he must also work on improving his relationship with our son. Nadda. Its days like this I feel what is the point of ME making a huge change to better our lives when he does nothing. I protect my son the best way I can, but the constant rows between them both is getting to me, I HATE seeing my son so rude and upset.

I realise now that I made a "conditon" on me stopping drinking which was wrong. I dont want to chuck in the towel as Ive worked so damn hard, but I am having resentments that my husband couldnt do the same to improve his relationship with our son.

Doing a personal inventory on this, I dont feel that I am being self seeking or selfish to want my husband and son to have a better relationship, this not only affects me but our whole household. My children have the right to be in a happy household and I feel that in someway I am failing them?

Anyways. Just needed to get this out. I am feeling quite unhappy today and dont know what to do aside from not drinking on it.
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Old 04-16-2016, 02:40 AM
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On a good note its been 5 months today since I had my last drink.
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Old 04-16-2016, 02:50 AM
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Awesome on the 5 months blueberry!
I get terribly anxious around "that time", even more so than usual and everything is just amped up.
I am sorry to hear your husband is not making the effort towards a more harmonious relationship with your son. But, very good to hear you are not drinking over it. Just stay sober, and there is no disappointing them
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Old 04-16-2016, 02:55 AM
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First, congratulations on five months! That's awesome!

Second - I hear you on the hormone roller coaster. My mood swings are worsening cyclically as well - I know it and see it but can't figure out how to tackle it.

Lastly - not sure how old your kids are. Mine are 7 and 10. I've had to push my husband at times to realize and acknowledge that the tone and words he uses with the kids is too harsh at times. It's hard when you are upset and in the moment and as a parent don't know why your kids did or said something. It's frustrating. But ice hd to try to open my husband's eyes to the impact it has on the kids. He is an awesome husband and father and does a ton for the kids. But he is a large man and when he raises his voice or physically approaches in anger, I can see that the kids feel scared or intimidated, simply because of his size (he has never raised a hand to them, side note). I think pushing the issue and me being direct with my husband about the impact it has as apparent through the kids' reactions has helped. I also have to acknowledge that I realize I need to do a better job on this front as well. I historically have yelled a lot and I know it doesn't help bi try to be much more cognizant of this as well.
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Old 04-16-2016, 02:58 AM
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Originally Posted by sleepie View Post
Awesome on the 5 months blueberry!
I get terribly anxious around "that time", even more so than usual and everything is just amped up.
I am sorry to hear your husband is not making the effort towards a more harmonious relationship with your son. But, very good to hear you are not drinking over it. Just stay sober, and there is no disappointing them
It is horrid. Most of the horrific things that happened when I was drinking all came in a day or two before my period. I made that link a long time ago, in recovery Im seeing a link again, I feel like pants. Need to get through today.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:00 AM
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Congrats on 5 months!

I struggle at that time of the month as well. I just have to remind myself that it'll pass. Hang in there.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:01 AM
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Originally Posted by ICanDoBetter View Post
First, congratulations on five months! That's awesome!

Second - I hear you on the hormone roller coaster. My mood swings are worsening cyclically as well - I know it and see it but can't figure out how to tackle it.

Lastly - not sure how old your kids are. Mine are 7 and 10. I've had to push my husband at times to realize and acknowledge that the tone and words he uses with the kids is too harsh at times. It's hard when you are upset and in the moment and as a parent don't know why your kids did or said something. It's frustrating. But ice hd to try to open my husband's eyes to the impact it has on the kids. He is an awesome husband and father and does a ton for the kids. But he is a large man and when he raises his voice or physically approaches in anger, I can see that the kids feel scared or intimidated, simply because of his size (he has never raised a hand to them, side note). I think pushing the issue and me being direct with my husband about the impact it has as apparent through the kids' reactions has helped. I also have to acknowledge that I realize I need to do a better job on this front as well. I historically have yelled a lot and I know it doesn't help bi try to be much more cognizant of this as well.
I'll have a chat with him again about it later. He just come off a night shift so he's like a bear with a sore head anyway.
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:02 AM
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Originally Posted by OldTomato View Post
Congrats on 5 months!

I struggle at that time of the month as well. I just have to remind myself that it'll pass. Hang in there.
Yep. I may have a chat with my doctor about it, it does make recovery hard.
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Old 04-16-2016, 05:33 AM
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Congratulations on 5 months! Yep,I've kept journals over the past few years and nearly every binge was within a few days to a week before my period,I've talked to the doc about this and she basically just told me to deal with it
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Old 04-16-2016, 05:45 AM
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Congratulations on 5 months blueberry! I can relate to the hormone rollercoaster, except in my case its menopause. I'm sorry for the added stress of your husband and son's relationship. It's easy to say "just don't let it get to you", but I realize that is impossible. I understand as a mother that when something is going on that involves your kids, it is magnified x10.

Hang in there, kind to yourself, and post often! I hope things improve at home.
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:33 AM
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Thank you x When drinking whilst having PMS I was bitch troll from hell. I mean really bad, I was violent, verbally abusive and totally totally out of control like Id been possessed or something. I think of those days and remember how bad I could be, smashing the house up, kicking furniture etc etc. Wasnt every month thank god, but enough for me to make a link. Im dreading the menopause tbh, god knows how Im going to cope with that, but will cross that bridge when I come to it, got a good 5-10 years before that kicks in I guess. It helps to know that my current mood is hormonal, ive eaten chocolate and have had a little nap. Just need to get through today x
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Old 04-16-2016, 09:20 AM
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Hope you feel better blueberry. I'm very glad you recognize drinking will not help in any way.
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Old 04-16-2016, 09:31 AM
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I get the worst pms, I actually have to treat it with medication or else I can't get out of bed. All I wanted to say is I am sorry for what you are going through, and I do not think it is selfish to want your husband and son to have a good relationship, that sounds like something any good parent would want.
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Old 04-16-2016, 09:48 AM
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Its days like today whereby I would of drunk two bottles of wine and be asleep wake up and start another bottle. Just to not deal with it, to escape and not give a damn, doesnt solve anything though does it? Im having a crap day, miserable day I guess. Thought of drinking is there but not enough to press the f-it button. Just wish sobriety was easy at times, but noone teaches you this, noone teaches you to deal with life on lifes terms. Its a process, a learning curve and in reality all I need to do is not pick up the first drink. I'll be ok. Coming on here helps majorally and getting it all out is part of my recovery plan. I am however pressing the f-it button on my diet tho ha ha! And that IS ok!
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:36 PM
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Well, I have pressed the f it button on my diet sodas and caffeine for a couple of days now. The way I see it, it beats the check out of drinking!!
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Old 04-16-2016, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by FormerWineGirl View Post
Well, I have pressed the f it button on my diet sodas and caffeine for a couple of days now. The way I see it, it beats the check out of drinking!!
me as well. I'll worry about dialing it back in eventually
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