Self Care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Self Care
Hey peoples!
Bunny here... Checking in. Been a rough week for me. Lots going on but I'm still sober. 313 days sober, to be exact. I talked to a woman I admire who has 30 years sobriety and she was a great help. I've been super depressed since everything went down with my sponsor. Totally paranoid, wanted to run away, wanted escape from my head. I've managed brief interludes of feeling "ok." I left work at noon yesterday sobbing. I was a sight to behold... Bawling at my desk, snot pouring out of my nose, shaking, diarrhea and nausea. I left work at 2:30 today to take a walk and clear my head. Anyway, I confided in my 30 years sober friend that I don't feel safe alone with myself and my thoughts and I did it... I asked for help. I wanted to stay off anti depressants and be ok. But she out things into perspective and said "Honey, AA is to help people get sober and live happy healthy lives. No one can help you if you are dead from your own hand... So Whatever you have to do to be ok...do it. Don't drink, don't use, but get yourself some counseling and medication if you need it." So I called a crisis clinic and made an appt. I made a pact with this woman, with myself and with God that if I feel too scared or too low before my outpatient appt. I will go to the ER."
I feel empowered. I've gotten through some of the worst days in recent memory. I feel better. I'm still having crying fits 3-4 times a day but there's help for me if I need it. And I have an appt. on the books for next week.
Tonight I cooked myself a nice dinner ( really hadn't eaten in 3 days), took a hot shower, and am relaxing watching a movie with my heating pad and a box of cookies 😃
Love to all. You've been so supportive.
I'm gonna be ok. Kind of an amazing concept to know hey... I'm gonna be OK!
Bunny here... Checking in. Been a rough week for me. Lots going on but I'm still sober. 313 days sober, to be exact. I talked to a woman I admire who has 30 years sobriety and she was a great help. I've been super depressed since everything went down with my sponsor. Totally paranoid, wanted to run away, wanted escape from my head. I've managed brief interludes of feeling "ok." I left work at noon yesterday sobbing. I was a sight to behold... Bawling at my desk, snot pouring out of my nose, shaking, diarrhea and nausea. I left work at 2:30 today to take a walk and clear my head. Anyway, I confided in my 30 years sober friend that I don't feel safe alone with myself and my thoughts and I did it... I asked for help. I wanted to stay off anti depressants and be ok. But she out things into perspective and said "Honey, AA is to help people get sober and live happy healthy lives. No one can help you if you are dead from your own hand... So Whatever you have to do to be ok...do it. Don't drink, don't use, but get yourself some counseling and medication if you need it." So I called a crisis clinic and made an appt. I made a pact with this woman, with myself and with God that if I feel too scared or too low before my outpatient appt. I will go to the ER."
I feel empowered. I've gotten through some of the worst days in recent memory. I feel better. I'm still having crying fits 3-4 times a day but there's help for me if I need it. And I have an appt. on the books for next week.
Tonight I cooked myself a nice dinner ( really hadn't eaten in 3 days), took a hot shower, and am relaxing watching a movie with my heating pad and a box of cookies 😃
Love to all. You've been so supportive.
I'm gonna be ok. Kind of an amazing concept to know hey... I'm gonna be OK!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
You're going to be waaay better than okay!
I'm so glad to hear you sound stronger and more upbeat...actually, you sound better than you have for a long time.
Three cheers and a standing ovation to you for giving you the care and respect you deserve and for all these months of sobriety even in the face of it all.
Sweetie, you just rock.
I'm so glad to hear you sound stronger and more upbeat...actually, you sound better than you have for a long time.
Three cheers and a standing ovation to you for giving you the care and respect you deserve and for all these months of sobriety even in the face of it all.
Sweetie, you just rock.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Bunny, I think you are doing the right thing. Talking to your dr, considering antidepressants, taking care of yourself is just what you need right now. I think that knowing you can do small, caring things for yourself is going to help you to heal. Be kind to yourself. 
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am really glad you reached out and I like that lady
Right on!
Congratulations on 313 days and on not picking up even though you were feeling so down
Be kind to yourself
But she out things into perspective and said "Honey, AA is to help people get sober and live happy healthy lives. No one can help you if you are dead from your own hand... So Whatever you have to do to be ok...do it. Don't drink, don't use, but get yourself some counseling and medication if you need it." So I called a crisis clinic and made an appt. I made a pact with this woman, with myself and with God that if I feel too scared or too low before my outpatient appt. I will go to the ER."
Congratulations on 313 days and on not picking up even though you were feeling so down
Be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Yes, you're going to be OK, Bunny. Hugs.
I read with some concern that you'd not eaten in three days. Remember the H in HALT is 'hungry.' (And A is angry, L is lonely and T is tired.)
Please be sure to nourish yourself as part of the self-care you deserve.
I read with some concern that you'd not eaten in three days. Remember the H in HALT is 'hungry.' (And A is angry, L is lonely and T is tired.)
Please be sure to nourish yourself as part of the self-care you deserve.
Brother of the Wolf
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
A big part of what is helping me make my sobriety work this time is being in therapy. One would think that being in graduate school to be a therapist would lead me to the conclusion that I need therapy. But, the carpenter's house is always the last one to get fixed... Sometimes, you just have to be selfish and take care of yourself first. My need to fix everyone's lives for them was getting in the way of me asking for the help that I needed.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
this is great to read bunny!!!!!
I started anti depressants a couple of months ago after years of untreated depression. I can't believe what a difference it has made for me. To think I was so reluctant to try them.
I started anti depressants a couple of months ago after years of untreated depression. I can't believe what a difference it has made for me. To think I was so reluctant to try them.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
Wow. Wow. Your post hit me right in the heart. I got so emotional from reading that, I could feel your pain, and I know from personal experience that what you did was extremely difficult. I am so very proud of you and the strength you've shown here just blows me away. Wow.
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