Barely Hanging On!!!!!

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04-15-2016, 11:10 AM

# 1 (permalink)

rahrah

Recoverer of Self

Thread Starter

Join Date: Dec 2015

Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 297

Barely Hanging On!!!!!

It's happened....a stressful situation has let out the demon! My AV is in full swing...my head is going bonkers...my heart is racing.. I have calmed myself down quite a bit and am not drinking...BUT as soon as I get home (1 hour) I WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT MY WINE!!!

OMG! THIS is making me cray cray! My head won't stop....the urge to drink is OVERWHELMING!. My chest is constricted and my head is screaming a giant F-IT!!

WHY! WHY is this so frigin hard! I don't want to go back...I don't want to drink...but the urge is so overpowering! I hate this! I will I always have to fight this thing? I was doing so good! And right now I'm in a dark corner shaking and crying desperately trying not to give in!

WTF!!!

04-15-2016, 11:14 AM

# 2 (permalink)

Saskia

Member

Join Date: May 2012

Location: US East Coast

Posts: 14,286

Hang tough, rahrah! The AV is an amazing liar. This does get better. Take some deep breaths; can you find a meeting, call someone, go for a walk? Find something to distract yourself. We care!

04-15-2016, 11:28 AM

# 3 (permalink)

ALinNS

Member

Join Date: Dec 2015

Location: Nova Scotia

Posts: 801

Hang in there it will pass, AA has a hotline there in Ontario, maybe consider calling and talking to someone, although RR is for me I have called them in the past, a few times they sent someone to talk to me, I did whatever it took to avoid a relapse, I feel for you as we can have some pretty crazy days.

All the best
Andrew

04-15-2016, 11:30 AM

# 4 (permalink)

Fabela

Member

Join Date: Mar 2016

Location: Abroad

Posts: 1,865

Great job posting here!! You can resist the urge, don't let the AV win!

04-15-2016, 11:32 AM

# 5 (permalink)

Findingtheway

Member

Join Date: Apr 2012

Posts: 1,323

"I was doing so good! And right now I'm in a dark corner shaking and crying desperately trying not to give in!"

I've heard my alcoholism described as a disease of perception...The fact you came here and posted PROVES you ARE DOING GOOD! You don't have to give in.

Have anyone you can call to let it out? Coming to SR was a smart move.

04-15-2016, 02:13 PM

# 6 (permalink)

Soberwolf

Do your best

Join Date: Aug 2014

Posts: 67,047

Try this & excellent job reaching out

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

if it helps send a pm

04-15-2016, 02:41 PM

# 7 (permalink)

ccam1973

Member

Join Date: Apr 2014

Location: Gulf Coast, USA

Posts: 2,229

How are you doing Rahrah? Don't give in to your AV. Remember, these are only thoughts and you don't have to act on them. The thought will pass.

Hang in there.

04-15-2016, 03:10 PM

# 8 (permalink)

sleepie

Member

Join Date: Apr 2010

Posts: 8,614

Hi rahrah! Don't drink, please let me tell you- the feeling you have tomorrow realizing that you did not cave in will be 100 times better than a hangover and guilt! You can make it through this, check in ok?

04-15-2016, 03:20 PM

# 9 (permalink)

Hevyn

Community Greeter

Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: Upstate New York

Posts: 51,560

rahrah, I hope you're feeling less tempted by now. Let us know how you're doing.

04-15-2016, 03:28 PM

# 10 (permalink)

noneever

Member

Join Date: Jan 2016

Posts: 392

They're just thoughts. They feel really, really uncomfortable but they will pass. I hope you're ok.

04-15-2016, 03:32 PM

# 11 (permalink)

D122y

Blue Belt

Join Date: Jul 2015

Location: Soberville, USA

Posts: 4,174

There is nothing good, magical, or special about booze.

It is like marijuana, cocain, or heroin. It is a drug.

It is a mind altering toxin that has ever increasing brain damaging effects.

You are an addict. Fight your addiction.

Stay clean. It gets easier.

04-15-2016, 03:36 PM

# 12 (permalink)

graced333

Guest

Join Date: Feb 2016

Posts: 414

This is from personal experience. There is nothing in the drink, except absolute horror.

04-15-2016, 05:03 PM

# 13 (permalink)

Anna

Administrator

Join Date: Aug 2003

Location: Dancing in the Light

Posts: 61,497

Rahrah, how are you doing? Did you get through the craving?

04-15-2016, 05:10 PM

# 14 (permalink)

Bunny211

Member

Join Date: Dec 2015

Location: Boston, MA

Posts: 1,601

Great job reaching out. Feel this ((((.........,..)))) that's a huge cyber hug! You can do this!

04-15-2016, 05:11 PM

# 15 (permalink)

Dee74

Administrator

Join Date: Apr 2007

Location: Australia

Posts: 211,431

How are you now rahrah?

D

04-15-2016, 05:21 PM

# 16 (permalink)

teatreeoil007

Member

Join Date: Sep 2015

Location: America

Posts: 4,136

Hang in there rahrah....we are here for you....

04-15-2016, 05:22 PM

# 17 (permalink)

IronPhoenix

Member

Join Date: Nov 2015

Posts: 376

Come on rahrah - dig deep and get the strength. You are greater than these urges. You can get through this.

04-15-2016, 09:28 PM

# 18 (permalink)

rahrah

Recoverer of Self

Thread Starter

Join Date: Dec 2015

Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 297

I did it! I hung in there for one minute, then another...then I scraped together the will to call a friend, she came and listened to my ramblings all night long...she's asleep in the other room! She quietly listened while I stomped about, madly declaring I wasn't going to give in...I binged on carbs and sugar while I spat out the devesatating effects my first drink would have. I am exhausted from hanging in there minute by minute....all day/afternoon/night I felt something inside me give in...I felt like at some point I was going to break and give in...and it devestated me....it tore me up to see my sobriety go down the drain...so I kept hanging on...and hanging on and hanging on..and now it's over! I am going to bed SOBER!
A GENUINE thank you for all the support...I read these comments a million times tonight. Thank you for supporting me! I DID IT! I can't believe I did it!