Breaking frče is impossible
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2
Breaking frče is impossible
HeyHelp, my name is Luke, and I'm an addict.
I am new and I don't know why I am writing here, but the emotional side of me feels I must try to find how to get help.
Since a long time, before university I have drunk. I have gone from being obese, to fit, to obese, to overweight to being fit again due to low self-esteem that I cannot stop fighting an addiction. Since around 8years I drink every night. I have recognised I drink a lot and have stopped, but then I would replace the soberity with smoking marijuana, stopping to smoke marijuana I would go to alcohol, then maybe I would stop both for a week then go back to either.
I always felt like I could break from this, but this last year my life is falling. My girlfriend who stays with me 2-3x a week is noticing my addictions. My dream career that I have managed to gain promotions is suffering from being late to work, not hitting deadlines. Ane hiding that after a long day I go home to smoke or drink to relax . it's often a full bottle of wine, 3/4 of whisky, or a few joints. I hate it. I often end up physically crying to myslef that this is my life! But I never show these emoitonals to my gf, family, friends that I cannot feeling anything but failure and embarrassed. And i dont want someone I love to know the lonely me. (I live in a foreign country and don't have many friends apart from great colleagues.) I am a few thousand is debt too, I currently live in a foreign country as I have to pay student loan debt back to england to help support myself. I remember a time when I was motivated and Loved My job, but now I'm loading contorl and not creating my motivation I once had. I don't know where to go. I would love to hear stories from people who have changed their life and broke frče, to there struggles with addiction. I'm hear to talk, AMD I. Want to talk responsibility to furthering buisness
Thank you for reading and I will swnser any questions of asked I hope
I am new and I don't know why I am writing here, but the emotional side of me feels I must try to find how to get help.
Since a long time, before university I have drunk. I have gone from being obese, to fit, to obese, to overweight to being fit again due to low self-esteem that I cannot stop fighting an addiction. Since around 8years I drink every night. I have recognised I drink a lot and have stopped, but then I would replace the soberity with smoking marijuana, stopping to smoke marijuana I would go to alcohol, then maybe I would stop both for a week then go back to either.
I always felt like I could break from this, but this last year my life is falling. My girlfriend who stays with me 2-3x a week is noticing my addictions. My dream career that I have managed to gain promotions is suffering from being late to work, not hitting deadlines. Ane hiding that after a long day I go home to smoke or drink to relax . it's often a full bottle of wine, 3/4 of whisky, or a few joints. I hate it. I often end up physically crying to myslef that this is my life! But I never show these emoitonals to my gf, family, friends that I cannot feeling anything but failure and embarrassed. And i dont want someone I love to know the lonely me. (I live in a foreign country and don't have many friends apart from great colleagues.) I am a few thousand is debt too, I currently live in a foreign country as I have to pay student loan debt back to england to help support myself. I remember a time when I was motivated and Loved My job, but now I'm loading contorl and not creating my motivation I once had. I don't know where to go. I would love to hear stories from people who have changed their life and broke frče, to there struggles with addiction. I'm hear to talk, AMD I. Want to talk responsibility to furthering buisness
Thank you for reading and I will swnser any questions of asked I hope
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
So glad you're here, DeadEye! 
I want you to know that I've been where you are, thinking it's impossible to get free of this crap and getting more hopeless by the day....losing people and things you love. I want you to know it IS possible to break free! I'm living proof. This community is full of people who have done just that and are now living full and healthy lives! Please stick around, post as much as you want, read people's stories and know that living addiction free can happen for you, too!
Xo
I want you to know that I've been where you are, thinking it's impossible to get free of this crap and getting more hopeless by the day....losing people and things you love. I want you to know it IS possible to break free! I'm living proof. This community is full of people who have done just that and are now living full and healthy lives! Please stick around, post as much as you want, read people's stories and know that living addiction free can happen for you, too!
Xo
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
If it was impossible there wouldn't be a ton of people here with a ton of sobriety.
I drank and drugged for 40 years and here I am getting close to 7 years sober. No booze no drugs. It can be done if you are willing to do what needs to be done
I drank and drugged for 40 years and here I am getting close to 7 years sober. No booze no drugs. It can be done if you are willing to do what needs to be done
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome, DeadEye. You were wise to post here - we all understand how you're feeling. You never need to feel alone.
I drank 30 yrs. & never thought I'd be able to live without it. Being here helped me find the courage to change my life. You can do it too. Please keep talking to us.
I drank 30 yrs. & never thought I'd be able to live without it. Being here helped me find the courage to change my life. You can do it too. Please keep talking to us.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
It's definitely not impossible and if you take a look around here, you will see lots of us who have broken free.
I'm glad you found us and are seeking support. You can change your life.
I'm glad you found us and are seeking support. You can change your life.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
It is very possible indeed. I took the option of drinking off the table and accepted that I could never drink again. And over six years later I am still sober and very happy with my life. 
Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the family.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Please stick around Deadeye. Quitting is not impossible, it is difficult and takes work on your part but many of us here have come from where you are.
Remember, the only time you lose is when you stop trying.
Remember, the only time you lose is when you stop trying.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
It's better sober, really. So much better. There is peace this way, a feeling I never knew when I was drinking and drugging.
You can do it too. Hope you stick around and keep posting.
You can do it too. Hope you stick around and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
Hi Deadeye, I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle. Being in the throes of addiction is horrible. You see no way out....but I'm here to tell you there is hope. It doesn't seem like it right now, but you most certainly CAN break free of this and get back to yourself. Your real self. Many of us here have done it. It's hard to imagine life without your crutches, but it truly is better. Take care and keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
The emotional stuff was what I realised I needed help with as well, once I'd stopped drinking. Thankfully I found my way to AA and have found that once I started working the 12 steps I was able to see why I was seeking quick fix relief (in multiple ways that had become destructive and we're making my life unmanageable, and me exhausted, depressed, and full of shame and self-loathing.
I was really surprised when I looked at the 12 steps, that only the first evening mentions alcohol. Steps 2 -12 all deal with healing our spiritual sickness, or malady. Learning to work past the tendency for getting restless, irritable and discontent without resorting to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, shopping, gambling or whatever we have made our crutch.
PS full sympathy re student debt. I reckon my student loan will finally be paid off when I'm about 106.
I was really surprised when I looked at the 12 steps, that only the first evening mentions alcohol. Steps 2 -12 all deal with healing our spiritual sickness, or malady. Learning to work past the tendency for getting restless, irritable and discontent without resorting to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, shopping, gambling or whatever we have made our crutch.
PS full sympathy re student debt. I reckon my student loan will finally be paid off when I'm about 106.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 2
Thnakyou for the kind comments of support. I will be spending some time reading some threads. I feel that I don't want to stop drinking, in the sense I want to be able to enjoy a beer with a friend. It's just the need that we can feel to find the next drink even when we know we shouldn't. So is the only option to completly abstain from it? I don't know. But I will not drink alone anymore.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,536
Hey Deadeye. If you want to just hang out here with us over the weekend, here's a weekender thread. It's fun, just conversational about all kinds of stuff. You can sober up, and keep distracted with sober friends. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
To me it's hard work, I guess the question is are you willing to role up your sleeves, come up with a plan and say (stick to it) never again.
Over my drinking career I think I have seen just about everything in Detox (lost count of my visits) and have seen some very sick people from using drugs or abusing alcohol who beat it so maybe Detox should be part of your plan.
A case in point is a lady around my age and a real sweetheart, although I personally abused alcohol, to me it all is the same, anyhow she had snorted prescription drugs until it ate a hole through the roof of her mouth, that was three 1/2 years ago, through multiple operations she can finally speak and we talk about once a week on the phone, this was probably the hardest case I have seen but man what an inspiration to others, if she can beat that kind of addiction, IMHO anything is possible.
I think sometimes we want or expect things in life to come easy but in my experience I had to work for my sobriety and everything else that I have and work hard in many areas.
Wishing you the best
Andrew
Over my drinking career I think I have seen just about everything in Detox (lost count of my visits) and have seen some very sick people from using drugs or abusing alcohol who beat it so maybe Detox should be part of your plan.
A case in point is a lady around my age and a real sweetheart, although I personally abused alcohol, to me it all is the same, anyhow she had snorted prescription drugs until it ate a hole through the roof of her mouth, that was three 1/2 years ago, through multiple operations she can finally speak and we talk about once a week on the phone, this was probably the hardest case I have seen but man what an inspiration to others, if she can beat that kind of addiction, IMHO anything is possible.
I think sometimes we want or expect things in life to come easy but in my experience I had to work for my sobriety and everything else that I have and work hard in many areas.
Wishing you the best
Andrew
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome Deadeye. Sobriety definitely isn't impossible... it does take hard work, but I promise you won't regret the decision.
The only way that works for most of us here is total and complete abstinence. Moderation won't work for someone with a problem, because we can't stop at just a few drinks.
You can make this change if you want to.
Welcome to SR.
The only way that works for most of us here is total and complete abstinence. Moderation won't work for someone with a problem, because we can't stop at just a few drinks.
You can make this change if you want to.
Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Many people are "option-oriented" people, meaning....we tend to look at our OPTIONS when we have a problem and make choices based upon those options. We can SOOOooooo be fooled into thinking we have no other options and/or coping tools but to drink, smoke, or use other substances to 'cope'.
But, for me, I needed to wake up and realize I DO have OTHER options; and not just other options, but BETTER options. My advice is to get other healthy options on the table and take drinking/smoking OFF the table. Tell yourself that drinking/smoking is simply NOT an option for you. And, when you close that "door" another door will open up for you, I can assure you of that. Your choice to close one door and walk through another door that will open you up to many wonderful sober possibilities! It DOES take effort, but you can do ti!
But, for me, I needed to wake up and realize I DO have OTHER options; and not just other options, but BETTER options. My advice is to get other healthy options on the table and take drinking/smoking OFF the table. Tell yourself that drinking/smoking is simply NOT an option for you. And, when you close that "door" another door will open up for you, I can assure you of that. Your choice to close one door and walk through another door that will open you up to many wonderful sober possibilities! It DOES take effort, but you can do ti!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
Originally Posted by Deadeye 
Thnakyou for the kind comments of support. I will be spending some time reading some threads. I feel that I don't want to stop drinking, in the sense I want to be able to enjoy a beer with a friend. It's just the need that we can feel to find the next drink even when we know we shouldn't. So is the only option to completly abstain from it? I don't know. But I will not drink alone anymore.
I tried drinking with friends, I tried, switching to wine or spirits, I tried drinking only after nightfall...all ended up in the same place.
Abstinence was the only answer for me.
I'm glad tho - I never could have imagined a life this good when I was drinking
D
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