Findingtheway

So i'm here at work, it's a beautiful sunny day and i'm just past 15 months sober.

And today my head is telling me my life is horrible. I get waves of feeling like this from time to time...But today is rough.

I hate being at work...I hate having to be productive. I hate that the boss has given me tasks to do. I'm falling behind on deadlines/projects...

My mind goes into these fight or flight patterns, where i want to be ANYWHERE but where i am right now.

It's not fun, and it doesnt happen that often...And i KNOW it will pass.

I tried to go for a walk, it helped a bit...I tried to call my sponsor and it went to voicemail. So i'm digging into the tools a bit more.

SR i'm glad your here, and i'm glad i was able to post this.

I've learned NOT to let these feelings fester. It's still NOT FUN!

Thanks SR.

CaseyW

Good on you for not sitting alone with those thoughts. Sorry you're feeling despondent today, good for you for using the tools you've learned in recovery. This too shall pass. Keep posting here once a minute if that's what it takes to help you thru.

Quick check--are you hungry? Are you hydrated? Those are the easiest triggers to miss but also the easiest to fix. Just asking.

Anna

Good for you for working your way through the negative feelings!

IvanMike

Right on.

I go through those waves myself. They all pass. Time and the steps and input from others all give us fresh perspective, and I find that I need some fresh perspective on a regular basis!

Congratulations on being normal! (For us anyhow).

You know as well as I do that by sharing your feelings you're doing the exact right thing. Hang in there. I can't promise you that "it" will get better, but as long as you stay clean and continue to follow this new way of life you can get better.

Soberwolf

Your sobriety is strong brother keep reaching out & massive congratulations on 15+ months

Magnetic

It always feels better to let things out doesn't it? I get these waves too but just for today I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, right here, right now. Keep your head up!

ardy

Hi Kiddo I had that yesterday just wanted to curl up and not see the world anymore.. rough day at work.. rough drive home... and had to spend time with a tearfull Mom in law on the phone.. made dinner hated it.. tossed it in the bin and crawled into bed with all 3 cats going its to early to sleep Ardy to early.. tv on hubby wondering what the hey and I was out like a light.... this happens to me every so often.. I look in the mirror and the the Hey Quilling what the hey did you do now.. my Pop would do that once in awhile.. sometimes it helps.. some times just the sleep.. hugs kiddo so many hugs from Wisconsin... ardy

Findingtheway

Thanks to all who responded/read my post.

Feeling bit better now, picked up a coffee and called my sponsor and got a hold of him and talked. Then called a new comer in AA and asked how his day was as well.

Felt considerably *lighter* as i walked back to my office. A few more hours to go and i'll be done with this work day.

Thanks for being here SR, i needed you all today.

IvanMike

Amazing how those two things change your perspective in a hurry isn't it?

Ruby2

I'm sorry you're feeling despondent. I go through that too. In the middle of it right now, actually.

I'm at work and not feeling productive and fighting the fact that getting productive might actually HELP me feel better. So resistant to changes sometimes.

I know it will pass for me. I hope you find that as well. Posting here is a great way to ease the burden.