I fired my sponsor today
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I think you made the right decision. I hope you'll stick with the program after your hard work so far, and that you find someone whose sobriety and attitude you would like to continue to grow and recover with.
Perhaps a temporary sponsor might be best while you recover your equilibrium after the stress of the last week. It might save you making any decisions that you might regret in a state of emotional rawness.
Wishing you all the best.
Perhaps a temporary sponsor might be best while you recover your equilibrium after the stress of the last week. It might save you making any decisions that you might regret in a state of emotional rawness.
Wishing you all the best.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Bunny, this is not a loss, although it may feel like it right now. IMO This person is not healthy for you to be around (all things considered). I think the suggestion to find a temporary sponsor is a very good one.
I could be mistaken, but I believe that you said earlier that this person would not sponsor people who were taking prescribed anti depressants. You wrote that you have been crying a great deal (today). I'm not sure if depression is a concern for you, but it might not be a bad idea to have an evaluation for this if it is a concern. There's lots of help for depression available through the mental health community.
I wish you all the best.
I could be mistaken, but I believe that you said earlier that this person would not sponsor people who were taking prescribed anti depressants. You wrote that you have been crying a great deal (today). I'm not sure if depression is a concern for you, but it might not be a bad idea to have an evaluation for this if it is a concern. There's lots of help for depression available through the mental health community.
I wish you all the best.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
You did the right thing, this was verbal abuse and if you follow Aries' suggestion and check out the friends and family forum you will find a lot of people enduring the same treatment from their alcoholic loves ones.
You are not a loser, you are not an ingrate: you are a smart and strong woman who deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.
I think Awuh has a very good point, try to get yourself checked for depression if it is a concern.
You are not a loser, you are not an ingrate: you are a smart and strong woman who deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.
I could be mistaken, but I believe that you said earlier that this person would not sponsor people who were taking prescribed anti depressants. You wrote that you have been crying a great deal (today). I'm not sure if depression is a concern for you, but it might not be a bad idea to have an evaluation for this if it is a concern.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 701
Honestly Bunny you stayed with her longer that I could have. I can't imagine its the first time she's been "fired". There is just no logical reason to call someone names, which is just condescending - and rude! You deserve better, and I am sure you will find it. It sounds like you have a firm grasp on the concept of AA, you're 10.5 months sober, and you are resolved to stay sober. I would think sponsors will be lining up to take you on!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Bunny, I ecco what others have said, you made a difficult but good decision. No matter what is is "supposed" to be like, if it isn't working it isn't working and sometimes untangling from that is unpleasant for both parties. Continue to take care of yourself and I hope you will find a temporary sponsor soon or maybe the right one will just pop up for you. Wishing you the best. Keep at it, you are doing amazing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
You did good. Now go find a good meeting where you can share like you have mentioned wanting to. A good meeting where you feel comfortable and relaxed. A good home group can be just as important as a sponsor in the long run.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
You were talking also about exploring other venues. Here is the Women For Sobriety "New Life Program". It is very positive and hopefully some of those affirmations will help you.
"NEW LIFE" ACCEPTANCE PROGRAM
1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
(c) 1976, 1987, 1993, 2011
1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
5. I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
7. Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important.
8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
9. The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.
10. All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me.
11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life.
12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
(c) 1976, 1987, 1993, 2011
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 772
Don't over think it. If you ever want a new sponsor just get another. I don't know 2hy she takes it so personally. If someone didn't want me as a sponsor that is okay. I want whatever is best for them anyways. Don't let this upset you too much. It isn't a big deal. Just get another. You can do it Bunny!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
I definitely think you did the right thing, but I wanted to 'fire' a sponsor before too and I know how hard that is, I was too chicken and just ended up backing away from AA altogether. I wish i would have stuck around and had the bravery to do what you did. Hope you're ok, and know that you absolutely made the right choice for yourself and your recovery.
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