High and Low Weekender April 15th Part 1
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Well I didn't get the job that I went for in Dublin.
I wasn't really expecting to anyway.
And yes, it still stings.
And I blame my mother. (Yes, yes I know it's unfair but I am in a resentful mood today.)
And I suppose I am in. But I don't feel like posting much today.
And I wish that when employers are rejecting you they would stop with the BS. "We really liked you but..." It's all lies, every word of it.
I wasn't really expecting to anyway.
And yes, it still stings.
And I blame my mother. (Yes, yes I know it's unfair but I am in a resentful mood today.)
And I suppose I am in. But I don't feel like posting much today.
And I wish that when employers are rejecting you they would stop with the BS. "We really liked you but..." It's all lies, every word of it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Originally Posted by Ruby2 
Fabela, congrats on 30 days. A great milestone.
Ven, safe travels. I have to go check the end of last week's thread. I'm sorry about your uncle.
Ven, safe travels. I have to go check the end of last week's thread. I'm sorry about your uncle.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...0-post485.html
If this was a college class, it would be called Studies in Family Dysfunction 101.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Congratulations on 30 days Fabela. It's good that you have an exit strategy just in case.
I hope everything goes smooth today Ven. It's good that you can be there for your cousins. Enjoy your trip home.
I hope everything goes smooth today Ven. It's good that you can be there for your cousins. Enjoy your trip home.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Good news is I got to costco before the tire center opened. Better news is they'll be finished before the main store opens. I'm guaranteed to not spend money on something I don't need. Plus I got first pick of the boxes. .. so I got six goog ones for yard clean up.
Tetra, don't be so down about the interview. Just imagine the interview process to be Jsbodhi's boyfriend.
Tetra, don't be so down about the interview. Just imagine the interview process to be Jsbodhi's boyfriend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Domhan
Posts: 1,974
Good morning or afternoon everybody and good night Australia!
Sorry you did not get job Tetra - I just noticed your quote from Mandela.
Well done on 30 days Febela!
Some interesting posts so far. When I was drinking heavily, I had no awareness if I was up or down. All of my emotions were projected into and determined by the liquid. Others tell me I was high, bordering on the dangerous, but mostly a liability. I have been told there was a dread when I started drinking as something bad would inevitably happen. In a way, I was also projecting my emotions into others around me.
Sobriety has brought a lot of things, but the main thing is more self awareness. I still have bad days, anxiety, feeling under threat, etc, but I can now own all of these experiences, which gives me the choice of either accepting them, changing something about myself, or changing my situation.
Ok, enough waffle from me. To work!
B
Sorry you did not get job Tetra - I just noticed your quote from Mandela.
Well done on 30 days Febela!
Some interesting posts so far. When I was drinking heavily, I had no awareness if I was up or down. All of my emotions were projected into and determined by the liquid. Others tell me I was high, bordering on the dangerous, but mostly a liability. I have been told there was a dread when I started drinking as something bad would inevitably happen. In a way, I was also projecting my emotions into others around me.
Sobriety has brought a lot of things, but the main thing is more self awareness. I still have bad days, anxiety, feeling under threat, etc, but I can now own all of these experiences, which gives me the choice of either accepting them, changing something about myself, or changing my situation.
Ok, enough waffle from me. To work!
B
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Good morning / afternoon / evening all.
Great intro as usual Ken.
Congrats on the 30 day mark Fabela, awesome milestone.
Tetra, sorry about the job, but don't let it get to you. You're stronger than that.
SW, good luck with the dontist; never fun.
I'm in for another sober weekend.
Great intro as usual Ken.
Congrats on the 30 day mark Fabela, awesome milestone.
Tetra, sorry about the job, but don't let it get to you. You're stronger than that.
SW, good luck with the dontist; never fun.
I'm in for another sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
chick-fil-eh? was passing out free chicken biscuits if you get there before 10 AM on Thursdays - every Thursday I think . The gals at costco told me so. So I got one and nothin else... at other end of parking lot 
I was going to get the missus gas from costko, but the tank was full - FULL. I hope it doesn't snow.
Came in to change into work clothes and getting ready to hit it.
Okay,,,, typing on the stupid phone and I can't hardly see the screen, goog job on only misspelling one word Brain. Thank You Olive.
Good, good okay, good as in goody goody I got a free breakfast sandwich...
Michael Jackson? Nope...
I was going to get the missus gas from costko, but the tank was full - FULL. I hope it doesn't snow.
Came in to change into work clothes and getting ready to hit it.
Okay,,,, typing on the stupid phone and I can't hardly see the screen, goog job on only misspelling one word Brain. Thank You Olive.
Good, good okay, good as in goody goody I got a free breakfast sandwich...
Michael Jackson? Nope...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Jen ~
Here ya go... Staff w/Benefits.
- Men In Kilts -
Previous Weekend Stats: Views - 9.642 ~ Posts - 1,112
Away to the Big City now for some Big Box Hardware Store 'stuff'.
10 new Bottles of Wine showed up here a few Days ago - now stashed - so I'm cinching down my Seat Belt for erratic MesaMate Behavior from Stealth Drinking. I expect I'll be hitting the Road Solo in the RV Trailer some time after the Concrete Guy finishes off the Patio late next Week. I've got to cancel a Boulder Trip to a Chicken Wing Cookoff Party in ~2 Weeks, and that likely won't be pretty. The Silent Treatment, and all that. No worries. No hurries.
I'm forcing this issue of more time apart until it becomes The New Normal; a pragmatic way for me to cope. Simply escape now & then. There's a lot more Lying going on recently so that MesaMate can spend more time with her Drinking/Stoner Gal Pal, so it's time for me to Vote With My Feet re: this Relationship-maiming Stealth Addict_ivity.
A Sine Wave-sort of periodic Alcohol-caused Bummer. But, Life goes on. I'm getting pretty deep into the Zen Detachment Gig that I can't change the behavior of anyone but me. This leads to greater Contentment over the past few Months.
.
Jen ~
Here ya go... Staff w/Benefits.
- Men In Kilts -
Previous Weekend Stats: Views - 9.642 ~ Posts - 1,112
Away to the Big City now for some Big Box Hardware Store 'stuff'.
10 new Bottles of Wine showed up here a few Days ago - now stashed - so I'm cinching down my Seat Belt for erratic MesaMate Behavior from Stealth Drinking. I expect I'll be hitting the Road Solo in the RV Trailer some time after the Concrete Guy finishes off the Patio late next Week. I've got to cancel a Boulder Trip to a Chicken Wing Cookoff Party in ~2 Weeks, and that likely won't be pretty. The Silent Treatment, and all that. No worries. No hurries.
I'm forcing this issue of more time apart until it becomes The New Normal; a pragmatic way for me to cope. Simply escape now & then. There's a lot more Lying going on recently so that MesaMate can spend more time with her Drinking/Stoner Gal Pal, so it's time for me to Vote With My Feet re: this Relationship-maiming Stealth Addict_ivity.
A Sine Wave-sort of periodic Alcohol-caused Bummer. But, Life goes on. I'm getting pretty deep into the Zen Detachment Gig that I can't change the behavior of anyone but me. This leads to greater Contentment over the past few Months.
.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Morning, all!
Welcome to everyone who is boarding the bus for the first time. It's so fun to spend a weekend here!
Congratulations on 30 days, fabela, that is wonderful!
I like this topic, Ken, thanks for the food for thought.
Highs and lows during active addiction. I don't know... I think everything was a low. I think I faked any happiness or high. Alcohol certainly didn't make me feel high. I was drinking for nightly maintenance of the blackout condition I needed to be in, in order to hide from life and not go into withdrawals.
Low low low. Everything was trickery and fakery to get you out of my face so I could get home to the drinking I needed to do. So so sad.
My highs are soooo nice now. They are subtle things I can look at and quietly smile to myself... I can crawl in them and feel comfort...
-I woke up in a warm bed with clean sheets, mattress on a nice wooden frame I bought, not on the floor
-I went and got my coffee and brought it and the thermos pot into bed
-I have a fresh batch of yogurt waiting for when I'm ready to have breakfast, along with some oatmeal and a banana
-I'll head out to check my beehives, that I paid for and found shelter for and I get to be a steward of these beautiful creatures
-I'll have two work meetings today to start this project where I got hired bc of my stable vibe and clear gaze and cleanly depicted vision of the culinary operations... I haven't even cooked for these people, they just had to have me as their exec chef. I know what they're paying for, and it's how they feel about me.
Those are all highs I earned with sobriety. I wanted the life I just described, a simple clean life. I didn't know how to get there.
I'm in love with these little things. It's these little things that let me know I am ok. And ok is good, even great!
No chaos, no filth, no drama in my external life... And I'm working on cleaning all that mental junk up and I'm working on my spiritual life as well.
Quiet never felt like such a high but it is the absolute best!
Xoxo
Welcome to everyone who is boarding the bus for the first time. It's so fun to spend a weekend here!
Congratulations on 30 days, fabela, that is wonderful!
I like this topic, Ken, thanks for the food for thought.
Highs and lows during active addiction. I don't know... I think everything was a low. I think I faked any happiness or high. Alcohol certainly didn't make me feel high. I was drinking for nightly maintenance of the blackout condition I needed to be in, in order to hide from life and not go into withdrawals.
Low low low. Everything was trickery and fakery to get you out of my face so I could get home to the drinking I needed to do. So so sad.
My highs are soooo nice now. They are subtle things I can look at and quietly smile to myself... I can crawl in them and feel comfort...
-I woke up in a warm bed with clean sheets, mattress on a nice wooden frame I bought, not on the floor
-I went and got my coffee and brought it and the thermos pot into bed
-I have a fresh batch of yogurt waiting for when I'm ready to have breakfast, along with some oatmeal and a banana
-I'll head out to check my beehives, that I paid for and found shelter for and I get to be a steward of these beautiful creatures
-I'll have two work meetings today to start this project where I got hired bc of my stable vibe and clear gaze and cleanly depicted vision of the culinary operations... I haven't even cooked for these people, they just had to have me as their exec chef. I know what they're paying for, and it's how they feel about me.
Those are all highs I earned with sobriety. I wanted the life I just described, a simple clean life. I didn't know how to get there.
I'm in love with these little things. It's these little things that let me know I am ok. And ok is good, even great!
No chaos, no filth, no drama in my external life... And I'm working on cleaning all that mental junk up and I'm working on my spiritual life as well.
Quiet never felt like such a high but it is the absolute best!
Xoxo
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