Ianidus

Is it me or when you become sober you see everything so much more clearly that you realise alcohol is everywhere on television and I don't mean adverts. Its in family guy American dad, coronation street etc all the soaps seem to revolve around a public house/bar. Its like TV wants us to fail by putting it in our faces, subliminal messaging.

Dee74

Noone wants you to fail Ianidus

You'll get used to other people - fictional & not - drinking

If you find TV triggering, try to think of other things to do in the evening for a while?

D

Ianidus

yeah but when I went to my meeting one of my counsellor called me Ian cupboard when my name is Hubbard and he did it to get a cheap laugh and it made me furious.

Dee74

Sorry - that wasn't a very professional or a very nice thing for that guy to do.

I'd try and get past it tho - people say all manner of stupid things sometimes - and you're there for your benefit..

If you can't let this go, maybe there any other counsellors or groups you could move to?

D

DrunkenDonuts

Hi Ian - If your counselor did that on purpose it sounds like he's not a very funny person. Or very good for that matter.

However, if there is a chance he did it by mistake, I would believe that. I've never met a counselor who would make fun of their clients.

Anna

Ian, I'm sorry that happened. I had to learn to speak up for myself when I began recovery. I had been a people-pleaser, and in the past I would have let something like that go by, even though it made me angry.

Ianidus

well either way a part of my issues stems from childhood bullying and he was trying to get a cheap laugh so now I feel more nervous about going to my first one on one because I cant move forward until I've dealt with him. Unfortunately, for him he should have waited before cracking jokes at my expense. things like this trigger my self harm and then I drink to numb the pain of my ugliness I just don't know what a man to do. I think I'm beyond help and the longer I stay away from the drink, the deeper into madness I feel I fall.

its irrelevant if it was on purpose or by accident.

Dee74

It's not irrelevant tho.

There's a vast difference if he did it maliciously or not.

There's also a vast difference if he knew about your past or not.

I'm not excusing the guy, but I really do think context is relevant?

D

Berrybean

You know , the thing that almost made me fall over when I come into AA is that everyone understood and had experience of that feeling of being separate or different, the acute sensitivity to how others behave to us and what they may or may not think of us, and the ability to form a resentment at the drop of a hat based on my fears and presumption about what others are thinking, and what they will do, say or think next.

Thankfully AA and the 12-step work I've done has helped me work on these things. I still have to watch myself to ensure I don't slip back into old habits, but generally I've had a huge amount of a relief (from myself and my faulty thinking).

Give it some time. I'd suggest giving AA a go. You seem keen to reach out and make friends, and it'd be good to be with people who understand what you're going through. And why not give that counsellor another chance. You can tell him that you were upset and angry about the name, as it reminded you of bullying at school when you're 1 to 1. People aren't perfect, and while we expect them to be so we're lining ourselves up for constant disappointment. I remember feeling that people had let me down when they didn't live up to my expectations. Now I can accept that they owe me nothing, especially not perfection.

I hope you manage to go to your next counselling session.

Zufrieden

Hi Ian,
I'm sorry about the guy's comments and hope he didn't mean anything by the made up name he gave you.
I consider myself a warm and friendly person but my wife tells me frequently that my sense of humor is often not actually very funny...... Maybe he has a case of what I have.
You have a lot to gain from the meetings and your recovery and i hope you can get past this guy and his comment regardless of his intention. You're just in a difficult period in general.
I hope you keep joining us here. All of us want you to succeed I promise you.
Jonathan