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-   -   Non chalantly telling people ... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/389374-non-chalantly-telling-people.html)

ICanDoBetter 04-12-2016 04:48 PM

Non chalantly telling people ...
 
I have found myself more often telling people non-chalantly of late that I quit drinking. Not saying in sober, not that I'm an alcoholic, but just mentioning it when it's natural in a conversation... And it feels pretty good. 😊

TryingSoHard 04-12-2016 05:02 PM

I'm jealous. That's something I still have a really hard time doing, and I started this journey 7 1/2 years ago. I don't have a problem saying no if offered alcohol, or saying, "I don't drink" if asked... I guess the part I struggle with is letting people who know I used to drink know that I don't anymore. They always ask why, and that's the part I want to avoid.

Anna 04-12-2016 05:05 PM

I don't tell people I don't drink because it's I feel it's a personal choice I've made and I'm not comfortable explaining to people. I stick to 'No, thanks' if offered and it seems to work.

Dee74 04-12-2016 05:07 PM

I used to think everybody was owed an explanation - but they're really not.
No thanks or at the most I don't drink anymore is all old acquaintances need to know...

if they were close buddies they already know why I quit :)

D

SoberLife90 04-12-2016 05:11 PM

I agree with Dee. My close friends know I don't drink anymore and I don't need to tell people that I just met what my life used to be like with alcohol. If asked to go out for a drink I will say "I don't drink", but I will only bring it up if necessary.

ICanDoBetter 04-12-2016 05:11 PM

That's just it ... The only person who asked why is my friend who legitimately bought I must be pregnant. She's also the one who told me in the past that if she had my chaotic life she would drink a lot. I relayed that back and simply said "well I did indeed and decided it wasn't a good idea anymore". She didn't challenge me on it and all was good.

And I'm not seeking people out as it were, but mentioning it when it feels organic and feels as if I would otherwise be hiding something. I'm not making it a big ordeal and neither are they. Which feels comfortable. I'm not really providing an explanation of the reasons though there are many... And I'm not really being asked either.

TryingSoHard 04-12-2016 05:37 PM

My mom doesn't know anything about my journey with alcohol. We aren't close and she doesn't live anywhere near me. She recently visited my house for 5 days, during Easter weekend. We were grocery shopping and I bought some sparkling cider, like I usually do without a thought. I guess this stood out to her because she then asked if we ever have wine or champagne at the house anymore (she knows we used to keep an extensive wine collection). I said no, we don't and we haven't for a long time and tried to drop it. She pressed it and wanted to know why the change. That's exactly the sort of thing I try to avoid.

ICanDoBetter 04-12-2016 05:41 PM

I don't believe my family or my husbands know just how bad I was. I'm sure through observing behaviors they may have had a clue - then again sometimes family functions with Inlaws bring these things out lol.

Seriously though, eventually I want to let my dad know. Long story, but I want to confess it to him when I'm ready.

MIRecovery 04-12-2016 05:56 PM

I'm pretty open with most people but only if asked but very few people ask. In business situations I just say no thank you I rather have a soda or whatever. I have used the line, "I used to drink that is why I don't."

MIRecovery 04-12-2016 06:11 PM

Funny story. I was late to a picnic because I was in another town at an AA meeting. I get to the picnic and my stepson was there with his serious girl friend who none of us had ever met.

She very innocently asked what I was doing in this town. I just straight fowardly said, "I go there because it is one of my favorite AA meetings." I though the poor thing was going to die. Talk about a conversation stopper. I quickly added I go to a lot of AA meetings

DrunkenDonuts 04-12-2016 06:26 PM

I'm a bit of a rascal I guess - but if it comes up in conversation I tell people a tale. It's none of their business anyway, so who cares if they think I got roofied and taken to another state where I was made to participate in a reality TV show?

ICanDoBetter 04-12-2016 07:02 PM


Originally Posted by DrunkenDonuts (Post 5901912)
I'm a bit of a rascal I guess - but if it comes up in conversation I tell people a tale. It's none of their business anyway, so who cares if they think I got roofied and taken to another state where I was made to participate in a reality TV show?

lol


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