The resentment thread
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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The resentment thread
What's a resentment. A resentment is when you replay the tape over and over again in your head. My sister was born with a cleft pallet and my father struggled to give her a normal life but he was absent from my life and I have a resentment against him Carrying that resentment for 40 years means there's something wrong with me. That resentment makes me a prisoner. So I made that resentment list and prayed for my father. See the big book for guidelines on how to prepare a resentment list somewhere near page 64. And then I prayed for my father for 2 weeks. Once prayer became a part of my life my health started to improve.
I started to wonder why I was not praying for myself. The 12 and 12 said loss of faith was not such a bad thing. Now there are other's I resent so till I get around to making seperate lists i will avoid the people places and situations that set me off. I also prepared a gratitude list and found most of my entries were dedicated to my dad. Thank god my relationship with him is almost normal.
I started to wonder why I was not praying for myself. The 12 and 12 said loss of faith was not such a bad thing. Now there are other's I resent so till I get around to making seperate lists i will avoid the people places and situations that set me off. I also prepared a gratitude list and found most of my entries were dedicated to my dad. Thank god my relationship with him is almost normal.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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I relate a lot with this post about resentments. In my early 20s and growing up I had a lot of resentment towards my father because after my parents got divorced even though we saw each other we were not very close. He really never made an effort . I had spent so much energy on it that on my late 20s I started to finally let it go. Now I am 36 and I can honestly say that I have let go.
He is a non existent grandfather to my daughter but I still send him pictures of her when I sent an email out to my family. It drives my husband a little crazy. He thinks that I should just ignore him completely. I don't want to do that I want to include him in her life. He never responds but the person I want to be would still send him the pictures and include him... Resentment is such a pointless feeling. After all you are only poisoning yourself...
I am very glad that you are working on it. It is really liberating.
He is a non existent grandfather to my daughter but I still send him pictures of her when I sent an email out to my family. It drives my husband a little crazy. He thinks that I should just ignore him completely. I don't want to do that I want to include him in her life. He never responds but the person I want to be would still send him the pictures and include him... Resentment is such a pointless feeling. After all you are only poisoning yourself...
I am very glad that you are working on it. It is really liberating.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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I plan to write some forgiveness letters (not to send) that I hope will draw a line under the resentments I have harboured from my childhood. I have been receiving support with these feelings in psychotherapy and feel that writing these letters and then destroying them will cement the work I have been doing in therapy x
Resentments are an illusion. Just thoughts that activate irrational emotions. A type of mental and emotional enslavement.
After 9 months of being sober that's my take on it and here's why. Last June when I got sober I also found out I have a physical condition that doctors don't treat let alone recognize. So the past 9 months my mind has been occupied almost 24/7 searching for a "cure" and trying so-called remedies for my symptoms. I'm also trying to live a happy sober life. I've realized in all of this being busy I haven't thought or experienced ANY of my former resentments. It's difficult to even remember them, that they even existed. Are they healed? Are they lost somewhere in my subconscious? Just thoughts, just lies.
After 9 months of being sober that's my take on it and here's why. Last June when I got sober I also found out I have a physical condition that doctors don't treat let alone recognize. So the past 9 months my mind has been occupied almost 24/7 searching for a "cure" and trying so-called remedies for my symptoms. I'm also trying to live a happy sober life. I've realized in all of this being busy I haven't thought or experienced ANY of my former resentments. It's difficult to even remember them, that they even existed. Are they healed? Are they lost somewhere in my subconscious? Just thoughts, just lies.
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