newhope01

I have not been to work this past week. I'm too ashamed to go back. My husband found me asleep in the shower. He thinks it's because of my medications. It is not.

My husband had to work this weekend, feeling lonely, I went to a friend's surprise party and then went out drinking and dancing yesterday. I was already intoxicated before I left. I'm also sure that I looked ridiculous.

I watched my brother spit soda at my his girlfriend, become irate and simply downright rude, until he tripped and landed a rock pile. I found out neither my brother or his girlfriend are happy together and its my understanding he does this often.

Watching the way folks respond to alcohol deeply saddened me. I hurt my husband, I watched my brother become disrespectful and call me a bit*h. I heard dark confessions from an acquaintance who is clearly crying out for help but who I am unable to help.

It gets worse every year. For all of these people. Why bother even if with just one? I see no point in this madness.

Now my husband is out of town for work for the next month and I am feeling incredibly lonely. At least I poured out my left overs.

Hevyn

Newhope - I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling right now, but very glad you wanted to talk about it.

I know most of us have had similar things happen - I sure have. I wasted many years insisting I could control the amounts I drank. The only way to avoid a miserable situation like the one you're in now is to stop - and stay stopped. Once it's in our system, anything can happen. I'm glad you poured the poison out. Here's where a better life can begin - you can get free.

SolidKarma

I'm sorry to hear about your situation hope, thank you for sharing. Good for you for pouring out the left overs, I was almost never able to succeed at that.

Please be gentle with yourself, and utilize SR during the next month while you are experiencing loneliness.

least

Hang in there and don't drink, no matter what.

newhope01

Yeah, I almost didn't pour out the remaining booze but I knew if I didn't at that moment, I would surely be drinking right now. That's what happened yesterday.

I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow but I need to go to work, I've been gone too long and I am afraid I may get fired anyway.

mejorando

Hevyn is right and my experience was the same for many, many years. If I knew sooner that I couldn't control it I would have stopped years ago. This is true for many, many people. How's your day going so far since posting?

newhope01

So far its been kind of lame as in all I have done is mope and lay in bed. I can't even get myself to shower and I enjoy hot showers. I have a slight desire to drink but its manageable at the time.

Anna

I'm sorry that you're feeling so low right now. I hope it goes well for you at work tomorrow. Have you come up with a plan for yourself so that you can continue to recover?

Lockie

Hi , get a sober night sleep. A nice hot shower in the morning and take work five minutes at a time. You can get through stress and uncomfortableness 5 minutes at a time. When nothing earth shattering happens go thru the next 5. You will feel so much better getting through your first work day back. Go home have a nutritious dinner and relax. Lots of self care. Nuture yourself. Hot bath and another sober sleep. Sounds to me you have friends family and you adore your husband. So perfect time to work on Your sobriety.

Dee74

I was going to suggest a plan too. Now seems a good time to get one started?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

newhope01

I really like your five minutes at a time strategery. I don't have any friends and my family is alcoholic. I do have good relationships with my co-workers.