irritation
 

Hi all, hoping it's normal to feel like this...
It's the beginning of day 6 for me....yeah
I've really been trying to get things done that I've let go because I was too busy drinking. So I am working on a project that I physically can't do part of. Heavy lifting kind of thing. So I ask my husband if he'll help and he says sure I can do that sometime. Of course I want it done right now and he says he'll get to it....why am I so irritated when I've been the one that has let so much slide?? I feel like a "B". I didn't say anything to him about being irritated but in my mind I can't let it go....How can I just go with the flow like he has done for me when I was laying around hungover....frustrated with myself...

I believe it's par for the course for the first few weeks maybe even months, in my case it would come and go for weeks, things I would normally just brush off became big things in my eyes which in hindsight is ridiculous. What I do know is like many side effects we experience when we stop, it does go away and settle down, Mindfulness helped me get through this phase and IMHO shorten it by a considerable amount.

Emotions are all over the map in early recovery. Cut yourself some slack and finish it when he's willing to do the heavy lifting. Rome wasn't built in a day. :)

The first few weeks or even months can be a bit hectic in the old noggin. It's stupefying drug has been withdrawn and it's kicking up a bit of a stink about it. Don't listen to it. In fact I'd take very little notice of anything that your head says for a while! It'll calm down soon enough when it realizes that it's not going to get it's own way. Take care.

You've probably drank a lot of irritation away in the past. Now your addiction is using it as a reason to shake your sobriety.

Irritation and anxiety are not only common in early sobriety, they are to be expected.

From an evolutionary standpoint it is bad for survival to sit around mentally lethargic (drunk) all the time. The body reacts by overproducing chemicals that stimulate the brain.

Then you stop drinking.

Your brain is no longer lethargic, but the over-production of stimulant continues for weeks or months, causing irritability and anxiety.

Have an herbal tea and tell your husband WHEN you need the box moved. He'll move it. :)

Hi seaside-

Congrats on day 6!

My experience for the first month (or so)- I was very irritable, and every single human being annoyed me beyond belief. :gaah Honestly.....especially my sweet dear husband! He didn't know if he should lock himself in his office or give me a hug. :lmao I can giggle now, but at the time it was difficult. I do understand....but it really does get better! Just hang in there. Finding time for a walk or just to be alone with my thoughts helped.

Lean on us- we've been there! :)

Emotions were all over the map for me early on. Now I notice things that used to bother me just roll past. I also realize I must have been quite a selfish ***** when I was boozing.

Restless, irritable and discontent. Yes, that's the normal state we find ourselves in when our old crutch alcohol has been removed. I couldn't stand to wait for anything. I had no patience at all, and was constantly wound up like a spring, or completely wiped out and unable to think straight at all. If I didn't keep busy my mind would start drifting back over the shameful things I used to drink to escape, until I stopped drinking to stop repeating them. Or it'd be going over and over things that made me mad or sad. What a state. I just pray I never relapse, because to go through that again would be hell.

The thing is, Recovery is all about learning how to Live sober, and although much of it is quite logical and rational, it was so far removed from my best thinking it was crazy, and I needed help. Badly. I got to a month in and the aforementioned restlessness, irritability and discontentment were completely taking over. I was sober, but didn't feel like I was Living. That's when I decided to find support. Thankfully I found it here and at AA. That's when I realised that there's a lot more to Living Sober than just being sober, and started relearning, and practicing dealing with things, and thinking about things, in a different way. Growing up I suppose.

Things DO get better. I hope it'll be soon for you.

When I was newly sober I was incredibly impatient and intolerant of others -- especially my wife.
I got hugely annoyed when she paused in her speech to find the right word . . .
We're talking about waiting a coupla seconds here.

I was told that these annoyances, if allowed to fester and grow, can lead to the sort of resentments that can lead us back to using alcohol as a solution.

Learning patience takes time and practice.
I had to learn, in a practical way, that people did not perform and events did not occur in my time.
Others have there own agenda.
I had trouble accepting this and letting go of unrealistic expectations.

One of the definitions of patience is:
"an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay." -Random House

I needed the willingness first.
Then I had to gain the ability.

Practice and repetition,
Practice and repetition:
boring, I know, but well worth the effort for the peace of mind that patience allows.

Not to sound too full of myself: I still have to consciously make an effort to wait patiently for my wife to come up with a word.

Then she may not even finish the sentence.

"What are you trying to say, Dear?"

One of the things I've learnt is that in practicing some of my recovery tools, I am becoming more patient and tolerant. I still have moments when people bug the crap out of me, but I'm much better about it than I was three months ago.

And when we were drinking?

There was the patience and tolerance that our loved ones showed to us . . .

or not.

Everyone has their limits.

Hang in there Seaside, you're doing great and congrats on 6 days! As you can tell by the responses, your emotions are normal. I definitely had to practice being more patient. I also had to understand that although I am the one making the change, my wife and I are both going through the transition.

You're doing great.

It's possible that anxiety, irritation as well as impatience are part of your "baseline" personality; perhaps drinking was how you coped with those feelings. Take away the alcohol, and you still need to deal with how you feel when you have these types of emotions-only they may feel amplified right now. Take some deep breaths. Go for walks; outside in the fresh air if possible. Try to get good sleep as lack of sleep can make anyone feel irritable. Maybe this isn't the best time to tackle big projects.

Seaside, when I quit drinking, I was always irritable. I got angry with everyone and everything. That's normal. Part of getting and staying sober was that I had to accept that I could no longer live my life according to the philosophy "I want what I want and I want it NOW!!!" Gimme gimme gimme. I have had to learn to relax and take things as they come, including accepting that other people's sense of urgency isn't the same as mine.

Day six is great. Keep going.