thomas11

I have just started reading today's posts and there have been a couple that got me thinking. Will I fail when faced with adversity, challenges and frustrations that will be inevitable in the near future.

My life right now is pretty stress free, and things are going well. But I wonder how I am going to react the first time I come home from work and I'm pissed off, or stressed out, or worried? Will I turn to relief in a bottle? I don't think so, but I can't say for sure, because it hasn't happened and its in the future. This is something (believe it or not) I hadn't even thought of until today and reading posts. I guess I better do something to address this in my mind before I find myself in that situation unprepared.

The other thing (and I'm being fairly serious) is that we talk quite a bit about substance addiction here. I am wondering if I have an internet addiction? I read constantly about a myriad of subjects for many hours a day. I guess I look at it two ways: 1. I read a lot because I enjoy it and it keeps me busy right now. 2. When I do have something "better" to do (like go to work) I will have no problem doing so.

I certainly hope I make the transition fairly smoothly. I feel fortunate that I am a person who does actually enjoy work. Its getting going that is the hard part. Once I get there, I try to make the most of it (except audits, I hate audits...of any kind).

Zufrieden

That would involve the "plan" that Dee mentions often....

uncorked

Well, just determine that you won't fail. Don't make it an option. Have a plan in place for when you get tempted (if you do), or have a bad day at work. I'm going through a tough time right now and it would be easy to start drinking again....but I won't. I've come too far, and so have you.

Saskia

Jeff, we can all succeed or fail or some of both. I don't think any of us can predict with certainty what will happen if ....

In my case, I've done everything I can possibly think of to "arm" myself. I have worn deep grooves into thinking things through to the end. That has sustained me through some difficult moments. Over time, I think that has only strengthened my resolve. I hope, preparation is critical.

Ariesagain

Darn, Zufrieden beat me to it

Will you fail? I don't think you will. You seem pretty grounded and analytical, so if you think ahead and have options, you'll be ready.

As for internet addiction...I wonder about that, too. I'm on this site a LOT. But I view it as situational...I have learned so much here and that information has kept me going during the first three months of sobriety...and it's also still cold and ugly outside here in New England!

Now, if I start lying about it, taking my iPad into the bathroom, and getting up in the middle of the night to surf? Then I might start to wonder!

MIRecovery

Funny I used to think about senarios that would make me drink. Then my daughter got cancer and I watched helplessly as she slowly died.

This senario was 10 times worse than anything I could have come up with. I just wanted so desperately for the pain to go away. I thought about drinking but I never could come up with a way that drinking wouldn't make a horrible situation worse.

So here I sit still in pain but still sober. I just miss her so much but I'm not going to miss her less if I'm drunk

teatreeoil007

One big difference between use of a forum like this and other substances/drugs is that this forum does not cross the blood-brain-barrier and alter our mental state nor does this forum cause us to be physiologically addicted. Can a person be psychologically addicted to the internet? Yes, I believe they can. Just as a person could be addicted to watching T.V. and can't seem to live without it; addicted to food and can't live without it; addicted to whatever....

Bunny211

If you want to stay sober more than anything in the world you will stay sober. Sobriety is available to everyone and anyone can attain it and keep it. It is not always easy. When times get rough you need to be willing to reach out for help...even if it means showing up in all your messiness and just being who you are and where you're at at that moment. I did it today and does it hurt my pride? Yup. Am I thankful I did it? Yes. Sobriety is about living life sober...crying, laughing, screaming, slamming your fists against the wall in rage...it's about sharing and loving and caring and being loved and cared for. The beauty is that you don't need to do it alone. The people I have met in recovery are the most selfless people I've ever encountered. I know of people who have stayed up for 24 hours straight with a newcomer, talking them down from craving a drink. We're all in this together. Stressful times will come...but if you want this bad enough you can get through them. And you don't need to get through them alone. When you reach out for help you let others know that it's ok to be real...to be hurting...to be messy...to be needy. You help others and you help yourself. You CAN do this!

teatreeoil007

Will you/we fail? I've asked myself that same question. I've got some social engagements coming up this year, including a performance and practices for said performance. There may others around me drinking and I'm concerned because I haven't been around any alcohol whatsoever for months now. I've told some the people I used to drink with that I no longer drink and they seemed to be accepting, but not particularly supportive. (they still drink and enjoy drinking very much), We've got a wedding to go to in Austria in which my husband will be best man and I am CERTAIN there will be alcohol there, but we are going...I feel right now as long as I am with my hubby, it will be okay as he is the main person holding me accountable in my life who knows the extent of my problem. Will I feel like I want to go out and get drunk sometimes after having a bad day or a bad week at work? Right now, the thought of getting drunk makes me feel nauseated.

None of us have a CRYSTAL BALL, but we can have a good PLAN.

Dee74

Hi Jeff
People here have gotten through death, sickness, financial worry, relationships breaking up, natural disasters, threats of terrorism......and loads more...and stayed sober.

The bottom line is drinking is not a viable option for you or me.

We have to commit to finding other ways to deal with stuff, be social, or whatever. Sometimes thats easy and sometimes it's not - but it's always possible.


Relapse is not inevitable.

For me (and I can be as tough as I like on myself) I don't even think it's excusable, ever.

The better your plan and the bigger your recovery tool chest, the greater chance you have of never drinking again.

By the by, I've heard the 'I don't know what I'll do in future' line lately from a few folks.

I think that's often a little bit of doubt creeping in there...just leaving the door to drinking open a bit.

I don't know the future but I do know myself - I can commit to doing everything I can to stay sober, no matter what happens.

D

Venecia

There you have it, Jeff.

All of us need to safeguard our sobriety. It takes work.

It's also possible to get to a point where you just don't want to drink. A couple days after my father died -- very unexpectedly -- I found myself in my parents' home alone. Sure enough, it was just then when an old friend showed up with a six-pack and said "you could probably use this." I extended thanks for the thought but said that I no longer drink. Told my friend to enjoy the brews.

I didn't want to drink. It was then I knew I could do this long-term. I stay on SR to keep my resolve strong, reinforce the tools available to me and take part in a community of like folk who I support and who support me.

FormerWineGirl

I like what uncorked said, "don't make it (drinking) an option".
That is the mentality I adopted when I finally decided that once and for all I could no longer drink. Taking the option completely off the table really made it mentally click for me.

Delizadee

Yep. ^^^^

You will only fail if you decide to.

And what is failure? Treat a trigger like a relapse. Like you'd take an ibuprofen if you're expecting to get a headache as you have experienced it 10 days in a row previous.

We have to change the way our minds think. And set our own gauges for success and deem failures as learning opportunities.

It's all a matter of choices.

Use whatever tools available to you to help you make healthy choices. There is no real replacemen for face to face real time support though.

We're all capable of it here.
And just because we might screw up doesn't make us a failure.

ScottFromWI

In my relatively short recovery/sobriety ( in relation to my entire life ) I have learned that luck and it fate is not a factor in my sobriety success/failures. In other areas of my life like work, there are always thigns above and beyond my control ( layoffs, bad markets, bad weather ) and no matter how hard I work, there's still a chance I might not reach my goal.

Sobriety is different - you get exactly out of it what you put in, and you have absolute control over maintaining it. So that's your answer....will you fail? Only if you don't do what's necessary.

thomas11

This line still stings a bit for me "The bottom line is drinking is not a viable option for you or me. "

It'll come, I need to be patient.

Dee74

I didn't mean it to sting Jeff.

I'm sorry it did - I though you were closer to accepting that, than you may be in reality.

D
D

Delizadee

Thomas, it doesn't sting YOU. Really. That's the remnants of addiction. The beast. The monkey on your back. Devil on your shoulder. One toe out the door.

Frame it in a positive way that works for you.

Sobriety is what you put into it...
So you can't exactly put booze in it right?

thomas11

Oh Dee, no problem at all. I believe people should never have an issue with the truth. It's a minor adjustment in the thought process, that's all.

Well, on this side of the world it's time for bed.