Hen-do/Bachelorette
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hen-do/Bachelorette
Hey guys, so, it's this wkend........my hen-do.......it's supposed 2b a surprise I asked for a spa day & a nice meal with my friends, I'm hoping this is what we're doing!. I've said I DO NOT want to b surrounded by tons of shots or do any bar crawls!!!!!
Now I have zero intention of drinking & I feel confident about it but there's just that stupid worry that I'll feel like I'm missing out (so bloody selfish)!!!! Any words of wisdom??
I'm going with a great group of friends & family (who I can b open & honest with, but not all of them know I'm sober) should I tell them???
I dont have an issue with anyone drinking as they can all drink sensibly like normal people!!!!
I'm lucky enough that my sister-in-law has just found out she is pregnant so she will b sober & another close friend is due any day, so I won't be alone.....I guess I'm just anxious, I just wanna have a brilliant time!!!!!x
Now I have zero intention of drinking & I feel confident about it but there's just that stupid worry that I'll feel like I'm missing out (so bloody selfish)!!!! Any words of wisdom??
I'm going with a great group of friends & family (who I can b open & honest with, but not all of them know I'm sober) should I tell them???
I dont have an issue with anyone drinking as they can all drink sensibly like normal people!!!!
I'm lucky enough that my sister-in-law has just found out she is pregnant so she will b sober & another close friend is due any day, so I won't be alone.....I guess I'm just anxious, I just wanna have a brilliant time!!!!!x
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It is your day so absolutely you can say that you aren't drinking. You have no obligation to anyone to explain why either - simply tell them you aren't drinking. If they ask why tell them because it's your day and you get to decide what you do!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
This is a celebration in your honor? Then I think you're well within your rights to make it clear that you want this to be a dry event. In fact, I think you owe it to yourself to build that expectation into the event.
Be careful. Based on what others have posted, these kinds of events can be fraught with temptation. Better to opt for the safe side and make it dry.
Be careful. Based on what others have posted, these kinds of events can be fraught with temptation. Better to opt for the safe side and make it dry.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Are any of the people coming along big drinkers who are likely to try to encourage you to drink? If so a quiet word with them beforehand might be an idea, and also make sure that no one is able to tamper with anything you drink if they're are people who are likely to REALLY want you to drink. You probably don't have anyone like that coming, but I know that my old drinking buddy really did try to sabotage me for a good 6 months. It sounds like you have a good supportive non drinking entourage as well. I'd stick with those pregnant ladies. Their hormones make them amazingly protective you know. They'll look after you.
In fairly early sobriety I went to Berlin for Hen weekend. This forum was a lifesaver for me as I had problems with my phone and was unable to contact my AA support network. I had my laptop in the hotel room and was able to check in often. I was so worried about being the only sober person there. And this was the case for the first evening out, but I'd decided enough was enough when others couldn't speak properly and we're happy on the dance floor anyway. When I did go back there were another couple of girls who actually wanted to go back as well but hadn't wanted to say. In the end morning I went for breakfast in a nearby cafe with my laptop, checked in here, then took then some cold drinks and pastries for hangover medicine. I felt stupidly empowered by this. I know it probably sounds silly, but given the choice I'd never have sat in a Berlin cafe and ordered breakfast all on my own. The weekend was full of these moments. My friends were amazed by the transformation from drunk ditsy BB who needed picking up and looking after, to self-assured and practical BB who looked after other people and had firm boundaries. And I was the only person on that weekend not drinking. Amazing. (To me anyway).
You can do this. It will be fun. You'll have all your dearest friends around you and you know at least 2 people aren't drinking. If the 'surprise' element of this is bothering you, could you have a chat with someone who knows you've quit alcohol, and get them to reassure you, not with details but just with enough info so that you can make a firm plan for the evening? I'm sure they want you to enjoy this, and to be able to enter into your marriage still sober and happy.
Best wishes for your Hen night and the upcoming wedding.
In fairly early sobriety I went to Berlin for Hen weekend. This forum was a lifesaver for me as I had problems with my phone and was unable to contact my AA support network. I had my laptop in the hotel room and was able to check in often. I was so worried about being the only sober person there. And this was the case for the first evening out, but I'd decided enough was enough when others couldn't speak properly and we're happy on the dance floor anyway. When I did go back there were another couple of girls who actually wanted to go back as well but hadn't wanted to say. In the end morning I went for breakfast in a nearby cafe with my laptop, checked in here, then took then some cold drinks and pastries for hangover medicine. I felt stupidly empowered by this. I know it probably sounds silly, but given the choice I'd never have sat in a Berlin cafe and ordered breakfast all on my own. The weekend was full of these moments. My friends were amazed by the transformation from drunk ditsy BB who needed picking up and looking after, to self-assured and practical BB who looked after other people and had firm boundaries. And I was the only person on that weekend not drinking. Amazing. (To me anyway).
You can do this. It will be fun. You'll have all your dearest friends around you and you know at least 2 people aren't drinking. If the 'surprise' element of this is bothering you, could you have a chat with someone who knows you've quit alcohol, and get them to reassure you, not with details but just with enough info so that you can make a firm plan for the evening? I'm sure they want you to enjoy this, and to be able to enter into your marriage still sober and happy.
Best wishes for your Hen night and the upcoming wedding.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
