stillpooh19

I have been finding myself in constant need of reassurance that things really do get better in sobriety. So I am constantly looking for someone to tell me it's going to be okay. I hang our in SR hoping to read stories similar to mine with the happy ending. I have never experienced anxiety and depression before so this is new and scary for me. Though I can say it gets a little better every day, there's still that undercurrent of worry of "am I going to be like this forever?" I go to AA meetings regularly and I have a sponsor but that nagging thought gets to me at times.

Any one else have this issue and what did you do?

360startstoday

Things really do get better!

I over thought that too, but I had to stop over thinking it and roll with the just for today thing. That helped ease the anxiety, think about only this moment, not the future, worry about anxiety actually amplifies it by a million times, does that make sense?

bluedog97

No, you're not the only one. I think part of it is the mess we've created and part of it is learning to live without alcohol. But I find myself frequently looking for reassurance as well.

I can't guarantee everything will get all rosy, but I do know that nothing good will come from picking up a drink.

doggonecarl

I wouldn't have stayed sober 5 1/2 years if it didn't better.

One thing about anxiety, it seems to be self perpetuating. Telling you to stop worrying probably won't help, but I will say it anyways, "Stop worrying."

least

My problem was impatience. I wanted things to be better right now! It took me a while, but I finally settled down and stopped worrying so much.

fini

stillpooh,
sometimes it feels worse for a while, since the anaesthetic is gone.

but the overall trend is up

Anna

I believe it will get better, but it's a good idea to remember to do things you enjoy, things that relax you, socialize with family/friends and try to add joy to your life each day of your recovery.

IvanMike

No. We all think that way.

One of the reasons that we benefit from regular meeting attendance and regular contact with others in recovery is we need that constant reassurance. Not only did I need to get told that I was going to be ok by experienced members of NA, I also needed to see what recovery looked like.

Part of what happens when we associate with people who have been in recovery longer that we have is that we identify with them. We start to realize that they have been where we were, and have found a way out. Not only have they stayed clean/sober, but they seem to be comfortable in their own skin. For a long time I had hope because of the evidence in their lives, As time went on, I began to have faith and trust that I would be ok due to the evidence in mine.

All that said, I still need reassurance from time to time. Sometimes I talk to my sponsor and all I need is for him to tell me that I'll be ok.

grubby

As far as your health/your physical body goes, things absolutely do get better by simply giving up alcohol. I would say the mind benefits too, it clears up a lot and you think better.

Now as far as the "other" external things go such as finances, family, relationships, workplace issues, boredom, etc that is up to you really (your actions, your choices, etc). That stuff is mostly unrelated to the alcohol thing, but it could be argued that they too become easier while sober.

The health stuff absolutely gets better if you stick to sobriety, I'm living proof

Late 2013 and going into early 2014 I was pushing 270 lbs and was very out of shape. I'm currently hovering a little over 180 lbs. Alcohol wrecks your health and does a number on your physical body, there is no question about it.

MIRecovery

I know for myself at 6 years things are better than I could have ever believed.

I must know well at 30 people who have 20 + years of sobriety and they all say the same thing. It just keeps getting better.

The question I need to ask myself is, "Am I getting better?" If I'm getting better everything else will follow

Delizadee

You will know when you are firmly planted in your sobriety when you can realize that life comes at us completely unbiased. You are the only one who can figure out how to make sobriety better by learning to cope in healthy ways with the trials, tragedy and unfairness in life.

Life doesn't measure our sobriety. Only we do.

Drinking leads to misery.
You cannot put out much positivity in the world.
You cannot grow your garden and water it with booze and fertilize it with false hope and negativity and expect to reap the rewards and be able to give some away.

Be strong and know no matter what!! You will be ok.

Booze solves nothing and is no path to happiness.

Delizadee

And don't forget peace and serenity in sobriety is not instant gratification or a light bulb going off. It will come in stages and phases.... like the changing of seasons, and rise and fall of the sun. The important thing is to revel in the process of the path and make each day count like we were never able to when gripped in our addictions.

sugarbear1

If you asked me (in my first year of sobriety) where I'd be in one year and what would the quality of my life be like, I would not have been able to answer that then. I had to live life, one day after the next and make it through some trying and some not so trying times.

Almost 5 years later, I am so thankful and grateful to be sober and fully present. My life is so much more calm and happy than ever....

Today, I also realize that all of the things I worried about in my past (regarding what will happen next) were unfounded. My needs were constantly met, my bills get paid, I acquire new things and mostly I have very deep and personal relationships with others today......

My sober life is rich in ways I could never have imagined, not necessarily financially, but in so many other ways.

Keep moving forward! Create the life you want by living each day sober.......

Soberwolf

Things will get better over time

Berrybean

I felt that way as well. It took time for me to get confident at using my sober tools. To be honest, I dragged it all out big time, by not getting a sponsor or doing any step work til later on. Once I'd done that, then I saw some big changes relatively quickly. Step 5 was a game changer for me, and that's when I saw many of the promises materialised. It was just like cogs clicking round and into place. Like on some labyrinth film.

Don't worry. Keep doing your recovery work (as per your sobriety plan and your step work), check in here and contact people from the fellowship when you need some reassurance and encouragement. You know when people say that helping newcomers is what helps them to stay sober? They're telling the truth, so never feel that you're being a burden. If your sponsor says contact every day, do it, and be honest about how you're feeling. Don't be tempted to do all that 'I'm fine' malarkey. Take it from someone who found out the hard way - that really doesn't help. It just hinders recovery by depriving ourselves of the the experience, strength and hope that someone could share with us it they knew where we were really at.
Things DO get better, but not every single day, and not immediately.

D122y

Still,

You are not alone in your sober journey. It gets better every moment.

When we dont drink, we remain in a special status. We are proudly sober.

For us ex drunks, the status of relapse is like walking into a pit of shame. It is a road to damnation for us that have excepted this education.

Those drunks that have not yet tried sobriety, are still in a living hell, they are searching for the moderation road they will never find. They are in a horror cycle.

We here all know this is not the road to hoe.

maverickspoint

Things get so much better trust me. I used to think about suicide all the time, was consistently depressed, angry and upset. I really didn't realise how much of that was attributed to the alcohol. I still have problems as do we all but I am so much stronger now I can handle them and whatever the future throws at me. Go for it, you'll see I promise.

Dee74

Some awesome advice here

Things really do get better - if they didn't noone would stay sober

I found for things to get better tho I needed to do more than just not drink - I'd been unhappy for a very long time so I had to look at a lot of other areas in my life too - the way I thought about myself, how I solved problems, whether I reached out for help or let things fester inside....

If you can work out how to stay sober, and be happy, you've got it made

D