Berrybean

Can I ask, does your sponsor have the sobriety you want? Ie. What made you choose her? A lot of working with a sponsor is monkey-see-monkey-do, which is fine if you want what that person has. It doesn't sound like you DO want the same kind of sobriety as her though. What you are describing (discouraging you from going to meetings that are more sociable and fun, WHILE they are studying or sharing) doesn't sound like the AA I've experienced. Yes, listening is important. The spiritual path is important. BUT, so are our supportive friends outside of sobriety. So is living. That's what we get sober for isn't it? So we can start LIVING.

My thoughts are with you. Sounds like a tricky situation.

Solushun

Your head will tell u to do the opposite. It wants u killed. Double up on mtgs, do the step work.. It really helps.

Also, stay in today. Stop thinking about tomorrow or yesterday.

48heath

Oh dear Bunny,have you seen the AA pamphlet on sponsorship?

You can read it online.

It seems to me your sponsor is going way beyond what a sponsor should be doing.

sg1970

What good is recovery if we don't have a life? Your sponsor doesn't sound very healthy.

I would strongly recommend reading that pamphlet 48Heath suggested. A sponsor's role is to guide us through the steps. Not make choices for us.

fini

Bunny,
there was a time when this person you asked to sponsor you had what you wanted, is that right?
maybe you didn't know them well enough to see the rigidity she seems to have and seems to want to impose on you, or maybe your perspective has changed on what she can share and how she can guide....when i read/hear about people lying to their sponsors and sneaking around them, i wonder why they are still with this person?

i don't want "watered-down" AA or cocktail parties without alcohol, either.
but if i found myself hiding things from the person i've asked to help me i'd need to take a real long look at myself and the relationship.
am i fudging because i'm not really okay with what i'm doing or because of fear of what the sponsor will say/judge?
do i feel respected as an independent person in this relationship?
do i experience the sponsor as encouraging and guiding or as judgmental and imposing her own values, and if the latter, is that resistance on my part against the person who i asked to help me or is it something else?
do i trust this person?
do i feel safe with this person while going through this process?
can we openly talk about this?

on and on; tons of questions.

one challenge for me among many is discernment about when the "to thyne own self be true" is in collision with following suggestions .

Nofearnobeer

The only thing that ever worked for me was to slap on a pair of headphones with music of choice and just tune out..Sometimes it will drowned out that dang voice long enough..