desperately need facts
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Okay. That sounds really positive.
The next step is to make a plan of HOW you're going to tackle this sobriety thing. As much as the vital thing is to not pick up another drink, being alcoholics, that's not always as easy as it is simple. Many of us find that the malady, (that restless, irritable and discontent feeling along with the shame, resentments and fears that we carry around) still sneaks up on us and we need to learn new ways of getting comfortable sitting with ourselves.
I always think of my sobriety plan as a kind of risk assessment. What could make things tricky? What are my slippery places to go (pubs, bars, weddings, BBQs)? Who are my slippery people (old drinking buddies, infuriating relatives, etc.)? Are there dayes on the calender that might be slippery? (christmas, birthdays, hot days, wednesdays, weekends, snow days, valentines, fuberals, etc.) What can I do to ensure I stay sober is I have to go to those places or see these people? (For me a big part of that is rehearsinb refusing alcohol before going, and even more importantly, having a clear exit strategy for time out or for disappearing altogether). I also needed to think about what I could do to fill the void of time and fellowship that alcohol would once have filled, as I used to spend pretty much all my waking weekend time in the local pub. The answers to all these questions are different for each or us, but people here will be happy to share their ideas and suggestions if you ask.
Even at 2 years sober, I know that the malady, and those restless, irritable and discontent feelings are likely to come rattling up at me if I've got two or more of the HALT triggers at play. HALT is Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired, Anger, Lonely, Tired. So part of my plan is some ideas for (a) avoiding, and (b) rectifying these things when they come up. Because the thing is, when I get to feeling that way my thinking is tinted a definitely alcoholic hue and I struggle to think of what to do. If it's on a list in my wallet I can just look at it. Part of my plan is AA, so I can always text or call one of my AA friends and have a moan, and they'll soon remind me as well, (or prompt me to think through what i need to do) the same as i sometimes do for them. Lol. Just remembering, one day when I was suffering a bit, a colleague commenting " Woah - your aura is a REALLY horrible colour today!" Kind of nuts, but I also knew exactly what she meant at the time. Me and my AA buddy refer to that feeling as The Vortex, because it's so easy to dip a toe in and get sucked in before we know it. My plan is all about not getting pulled into the vortex, which is where I'm most likely to make that crazy decision to take a drink, (or act out on one of my other compulsive behaviours).
Anyway - that ended up far more of a ramble than I'd intended. Sory about that. I blame the coffee. I made it strong this morning.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
The next step is to make a plan of HOW you're going to tackle this sobriety thing. As much as the vital thing is to not pick up another drink, being alcoholics, that's not always as easy as it is simple. Many of us find that the malady, (that restless, irritable and discontent feeling along with the shame, resentments and fears that we carry around) still sneaks up on us and we need to learn new ways of getting comfortable sitting with ourselves.
I always think of my sobriety plan as a kind of risk assessment. What could make things tricky? What are my slippery places to go (pubs, bars, weddings, BBQs)? Who are my slippery people (old drinking buddies, infuriating relatives, etc.)? Are there dayes on the calender that might be slippery? (christmas, birthdays, hot days, wednesdays, weekends, snow days, valentines, fuberals, etc.) What can I do to ensure I stay sober is I have to go to those places or see these people? (For me a big part of that is rehearsinb refusing alcohol before going, and even more importantly, having a clear exit strategy for time out or for disappearing altogether). I also needed to think about what I could do to fill the void of time and fellowship that alcohol would once have filled, as I used to spend pretty much all my waking weekend time in the local pub. The answers to all these questions are different for each or us, but people here will be happy to share their ideas and suggestions if you ask.
Even at 2 years sober, I know that the malady, and those restless, irritable and discontent feelings are likely to come rattling up at me if I've got two or more of the HALT triggers at play. HALT is Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired, Anger, Lonely, Tired. So part of my plan is some ideas for (a) avoiding, and (b) rectifying these things when they come up. Because the thing is, when I get to feeling that way my thinking is tinted a definitely alcoholic hue and I struggle to think of what to do. If it's on a list in my wallet I can just look at it. Part of my plan is AA, so I can always text or call one of my AA friends and have a moan, and they'll soon remind me as well, (or prompt me to think through what i need to do) the same as i sometimes do for them. Lol. Just remembering, one day when I was suffering a bit, a colleague commenting " Woah - your aura is a REALLY horrible colour today!" Kind of nuts, but I also knew exactly what she meant at the time. Me and my AA buddy refer to that feeling as The Vortex, because it's so easy to dip a toe in and get sucked in before we know it. My plan is all about not getting pulled into the vortex, which is where I'm most likely to make that crazy decision to take a drink, (or act out on one of my other compulsive behaviours).
Anyway - that ended up far more of a ramble than I'd intended. Sory about that. I blame the coffee. I made it strong this morning.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
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