Day 55
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Join Date: Jan 2016
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Day 55
Hi all,
Day 55! And still doing well.
What I really appreciated was all the help in the "sex addiction" thread. Normally I wouldn't post something that private, but... I feared I was creating a new addiction and I felt comfortable coming here with it. And I appreciate all the input.
At this point, I know it's not an addiction. I do have to mentally sort out that area for myself. What I want and don't want. But I guess everyone does that from time to time.
So, topic closed, moving on.
Today I woke up a bit restless. Restless dreams. I have my wallet back (since Easter) and it increased my stress and worry about drinking. But not to the point that I feel like it will go wrong. And I have to stay sober while managing my own finances at one point, so it's a new phase.
But I have no desire to drink still. The old reflex of getting beer is gone. Which is a good sign.
I am going to call my brother in a moment to ask if he can come by to check up on me every afternoon. He knows when I've been drinking, even if it was the day before. There are many signs and he knows me well.
But in the end, I think it'll be alright. Just a little worried, which is why I decided to call my brother after posting this.
Day 55! And still doing well.
What I really appreciated was all the help in the "sex addiction" thread. Normally I wouldn't post something that private, but... I feared I was creating a new addiction and I felt comfortable coming here with it. And I appreciate all the input.
At this point, I know it's not an addiction. I do have to mentally sort out that area for myself. What I want and don't want. But I guess everyone does that from time to time.
So, topic closed, moving on.
Today I woke up a bit restless. Restless dreams. I have my wallet back (since Easter) and it increased my stress and worry about drinking. But not to the point that I feel like it will go wrong. And I have to stay sober while managing my own finances at one point, so it's a new phase.
But I have no desire to drink still. The old reflex of getting beer is gone. Which is a good sign.
I am going to call my brother in a moment to ask if he can come by to check up on me every afternoon. He knows when I've been drinking, even if it was the day before. There are many signs and he knows me well.
But in the end, I think it'll be alright. Just a little worried, which is why I decided to call my brother after posting this.
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I think that's a great idea. Good for you.
The thing that I found a little concerning about your other thread is that I heard little echoes of your old addicted alter ego. The guy you are sober is kind, smart, and grounded. This other voice doesn't sound like you?
The other concern I had is that you questioned if it was a cross addiction and you know yourself a whole lot better than we do.
But back to the subject at hand...many congratulations on your double nickel milestone!
The thing that I found a little concerning about your other thread is that I heard little echoes of your old addicted alter ego. The guy you are sober is kind, smart, and grounded. This other voice doesn't sound like you?
The other concern I had is that you questioned if it was a cross addiction and you know yourself a whole lot better than we do.
But back to the subject at hand...many congratulations on your double nickel milestone!
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
Originally Posted by Ariesagain 
I think that's a great idea. Good for you.
The thing that I found a little concerning about your other thread is that I heard little echoes of your old addicted alter ego. The guy you are sober is kind, smart, and grounded. This other voice doesn't sound like you?
The other concern I had is that you questioned if it was a cross addiction and you know yourself a whole lot better than we do.
But back to the subject at hand...many congratulations on your double nickel milestone!
The thing that I found a little concerning about your other thread is that I heard little echoes of your old addicted alter ego. The guy you are sober is kind, smart, and grounded. This other voice doesn't sound like you?
The other concern I had is that you questioned if it was a cross addiction and you know yourself a whole lot better than we do.
But back to the subject at hand...many congratulations on your double nickel milestone!
About the echoes, I think you're right. I was off-balance. And the addiction part of me can come through a bit when that happens.
I've been wondering if I should have posted that thread to begin with. My conclusion is that it was a good idea. I was genuinely concerned about developing an addiction and there should be NO threshold to posting about it, for anyone.
And fortunately it ended well. It wasn't all a bad thing. Some things were, but that was a lapse in judgement. I met some really nice women as well.
But the AV did latch onto it. And I got into the AV-me, not the real me. It's a nasty things, but I guess it was a good lesson to learn.
I don't want to be the AV-me ever again. It's still at heart a good person, but has some traits I really dislike.
So... back on track!
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Big hug.
We all have traits that aren't exactly optimal? The trick is recognizing the evil clowns before they take over the whole circus. I'm still working on that one and I'm a whole lot older than you.
And I for one am glad you posted about it, because I believe in your heart of hearts you knew that this might have been a binge in disguise.
Onward, yes?
We all have traits that aren't exactly optimal? The trick is recognizing the evil clowns before they take over the whole circus. I'm still working on that one and I'm a whole lot older than you.
And I for one am glad you posted about it, because I believe in your heart of hearts you knew that this might have been a binge in disguise.
Onward, yes?
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain
Big hug.
We all have traits that aren't, well, optimal? The trick is recognizing the evil clowns before they take over the whole circus. I'm still working on that one and I'm a whole lot older than you.
Onward, yes?
We all have traits that aren't, well, optimal? The trick is recognizing the evil clowns before they take over the whole circus. I'm still working on that one and I'm a whole lot older than you.
Onward, yes?
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Mike,
Good plan to have your bro check up on you. I find that I need to be accountable to someone who knows me really well. That's been a big help.
Talking about sex and the possibility of sexual addiction was a good thing I think. Many people still in this day and age are uncomfortable talking about sex, as if it's a taboo subject. And I can understand for some it might feel like TMI. But many of us co-dependents were raised to "shhhh, don't talk about that" and in the end it turned out to be not a healthy thing...whether you are not talking about 'dad's drinking' or sister's eating disorder'.
'
The more the concerns are out in the open the better to finding solutions and help. And, I have found that the things people don't want to talk about the MOST are the very same things that NEED to be talked about. I'm glad that thread was helpful...
Good plan to have your bro check up on you. I find that I need to be accountable to someone who knows me really well. That's been a big help.
Talking about sex and the possibility of sexual addiction was a good thing I think. Many people still in this day and age are uncomfortable talking about sex, as if it's a taboo subject. And I can understand for some it might feel like TMI. But many of us co-dependents were raised to "shhhh, don't talk about that" and in the end it turned out to be not a healthy thing...whether you are not talking about 'dad's drinking' or sister's eating disorder'.
'
The more the concerns are out in the open the better to finding solutions and help. And, I have found that the things people don't want to talk about the MOST are the very same things that NEED to be talked about. I'm glad that thread was helpful...
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