Aquatundra

Please before you read on DO NOT give me a link to the PAWS site I have read it and received it a zillion times AND READ IT.....Also I want it to be VERY known I am seeing a doctor very regularly..... I AM LOOKING FOR SOME WHO SHARES MY PAIN..THANKS IN ADVANCE!

alright with that being said thank you so much for coming to this post and Happy Saturday to you!

so this may or may not turn into a rant just gonna start typing and hoping this may also help someone else out there who has been searching for someone else feeling like this...

So I am at 101 days today... LONGEST 101 days of my life...I swear Heroin withdrawl and methadone withdrawl was easier or at times I almost wish it was so it would be over by now...

So to kinda start I was drinking wine every night for a year or so a big ol' bottle too of white....I decided the day before xmas to get sober and quit cold turkey...as most of you know completely brutal.

So here is where I am at now about 2 months ago my doctor put me on zoloft but that just gave me headaches realllyyyyyyy bad......So she told me to stop taking it and put me on buspar or buspirone I didn't take it and just stopped the zoloft cause when I did start it the same kind headaches started again so I said eff this im out....

I was feeling GREAT!!! super excited and was blogging and feeling normal again. Getting up daily and getting to work online and actually started to sign people into...

A week ago or so I started having horrible anxiety attacks like literally out of nowhere shaking and such...

I also started to get extremely constipated again and the last few days had horrible smell from my mouth and pain in my gut ......so started the buspar and began to be regular again and starting to feel a little better...but so weak and soooooooo blah and tired and I know part of it is the medication...

So I guess what Im trying to find out has anyone else had this where they started feeling great and normal again.. and then it crashes????

I almost feel like I have gone back to day 1 but not as crazzzy....

Yes I know this is the part where someone sends me the PAWS link but no site I have come across talks about alllllll the things that happen..

So does this sound like paws?? Does paws just keep coming in a vicious cycle?? HAS ANYONE BEEN THROUGH THIS????

IM NOT ASKING FOR MEDICAL ADVICE I JUST WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORY IF YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS.

What else could I also being doing??? I eat VERYYYYYYYY well , drink plenty of fluids etc .. Maybe should exercise more?

I also have been having this gnarly gnarly armpit smell coming out it almost smells like vienna sausage juice....

Is my body detoxing?

whats going on any idea or advice??

honestly my doctor is an idiot and am gonna be starting with another doctor is two weeks once the insurance kicks in

I dunno I just need hope this in fact does goes away ! its been 101 days already !

Soberwolf

Congrats on 101 days sorry your not agreeing with your Dr but I would still keep regular apts and take the medication as prescribed that's what I do & even if I see a Dr who is new or anything I always explain & try to keep them updated & tell them everything

For instance I see my dr in the next few days and I'm on medication I will be asked stuff, I co-operate even if I don't agree fully thier trained Dr's at the end of the day I am the one seeking help

Aquatundra

urgh

IvanMike

What kind of recovery plan are you following? AA or NA meetings? Anything at all?

Yes it is normal to have periods of feeling "off". 101 days is barely out of the woods. When we stop using, we begin to feel the pain and uncertainty of life. This can happen all at once, but often it comes in waves. When it shows up, we tend to want to do something that makes it "go away - right away". I've got new for you, that's not how real life works.

Recovery isn't about abstinence from drugs and alcohol. That's just the start. Recovery is about figuring out why we felt the nagging need to get loaded in the first place, and addressing those issues. This takes time and is not always pleasant. However, it is worlds better than the slow suicide we attempted while using.

Another thing to keep in mind that it is normal for everyone to experience periods where they feel down or out of sorts. I'm coming out of one as we speak. Over time we learn that all feelings pass and that we don't have to use in order to be OK.

Hang in there. See what the doc says. And if you're not involved in some sort of recovery program, I'd suggest it. Talking to people who understand what it is like to be you and who have found a way out is like nothing else.

Dee74

I felt lethargic for a long time - a little activity, a little light exercise helped even tho it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Setting a regular bed time and watching what I ate helped too.

If you're not confident in your Dr and what they're prescribing. I'd find another one, yeah.

Hope you feel better soon.

D

esinger

I don't know. That all sounds like it really sucks. I know when I took antidepressants they made me feel really blah. I stopped taking them instead of weaning off and had a mind numbing headache for weeks.
As far as PAWS goes, I had my moments of disorientation and absentmindedness my first year or so (OK I'm still absentminded) but not the symptoms you are having. Maybe stick with one thing and give it some time. Switching meds back and forth might have some funky effects on you, that and the body healing from all the abuse.
Not much help, I know.
Take care.

Ariesagain

Okay, how about just a lot of sympathy and a hug?

esinger

You have my sympathy. As for the hug, I'm not a touchy feely type of guy.
You'll get through it!

stillpooh19

YES! I went through it around day 45 and day 86! Yes, it does sound like PAWS! And, according to my doctors and therapists, PAWS comes and goes in waves. They all stress the fact that these waves can last for upwards of two years. Not great news, but at least we know it comes to an end.

I tried the SSRI's and they made me worse, so my psychiatrist started me on SAM-e and NAC. They seem to be working well, but I still had this undercurrent of anxiety so I started taking neurontin PRN. That definitely seems to help the anxiety. In fact, I was able to go shopping over the weekend without freaking out.

When I researched the NAC, it lead me to research other amino acids the brain needs to function properly. Apparently the brain needs amino acids to prompt the chemicals in the brain to work properly including endorphin's, dopamine, serotonin etc.

Best wishes to you! Learn to ride the waves.