Sex addiction, maybe?
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Originally Posted by Carlotta 
I agree with Scott that you should talk to your therapist. A lot of people start acting out in other ways once they stop drinking unless they work on the underlying reasons for our alcoholism in the first place.
That being said, chances are that your interaction with the prostitute was the most honest one of the 7.
Unless things have changed since I was a young woman, women just don't go around having indiscriminate sex.
More often than not, we liked the guy and hoped to start a relationship or something semi serious with him.
At least with the professional, the expectations and the nature of the relationship were clear cut:
You wanted to have sex (whether you are acting out or not that's between you and your shrink) and expected her to do her part...she did
She expected to be paid for her services ...she did.
That's clear cut and I think more honest than going around and potential dashing someone's hopes for a partnership or hurting their feelings( and also spreading STDs).
That being said, chances are that your interaction with the prostitute was the most honest one of the 7.
Unless things have changed since I was a young woman, women just don't go around having indiscriminate sex.
More often than not, we liked the guy and hoped to start a relationship or something semi serious with him.
At least with the professional, the expectations and the nature of the relationship were clear cut:
You wanted to have sex (whether you are acting out or not that's between you and your shrink) and expected her to do her part...she did
She expected to be paid for her services ...she did.
That's clear cut and I think more honest than going around and potential dashing someone's hopes for a partnership or hurting their feelings( and also spreading STDs).
And I suppose word spread. Tonight the doorbell rang and the cam showed another woman, ready to go. I didn't open. I'm a little tired.
I'm ok with all this. Eventually I want a relationship, but this is nice for now.
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Originally Posted by Carlotta
Ps: I posted assuming that you used the services of an escort/call girl and did not see one of those poor girls walkingthe streets because she is on drugs or has a pimp.
Those other girls don't really exist here since prostitution is legal and regulated. Also, I would never in my life consider going to one of the street hookers.
I paid 200 bucks and actually tipped 200 bucks as well. All at my place. With a clean, decent girl.
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Originally Posted by Carlotta
Edited because I really sounded like a prudish old lady complaining about the morals of today's young women and their lack of brains for not charging if they are going to be promiscuous LOL
It's what it's like now. It's not right or wrong. It's just what it is. And everyone is entitled to their opinion on it.
When I was younger, my mom would make a list of what I should think of to take with me when I went to a party-vacation spot. And there would always be "condoms" on there. And she'd double check by asking.
And when my brother told her he had a one-night-stand, she said: "How fun!".
So it's a matter of what you think is right and wrong. And you are entitled to that opinion,
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Originally Posted by MikeM
And I suppose word spread. Tonight the doorbell rang and the cam showed another woman, ready to go. I didn't open. I'm a little tired.
.
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Originally Posted by Curlync
Is this for real? I don't know where you live but there must be some kind of man drought. Not taking anything away from you, I am sure are amazing and all that that, but wow. ... That's a bit of crazy (IMO, of course)
It happened when I was drinking as well, until it became clear I wasn't interested at the time. Now that that's clear, I get attention again. Just the way it is.
Apart from the prostitute mistake, I don't just say "Come in" and it's on though. I like to take the appropriate time to get to know them,
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Hey, I guess we can stop worrying about you isolating, hmmm?
Your life, not mine, so I have no opinions here. Two thoughts...First, condoms break on occasion. Second, you're a nice-looking guy with family money...some of these women may well be more invested in a long-term deal than you think you're in.
Mazel tov, but be a little careful, yes?
Your life, not mine, so I have no opinions here. Two thoughts...First, condoms break on occasion. Second, you're a nice-looking guy with family money...some of these women may well be more invested in a long-term deal than you think you're in.
Mazel tov, but be a little careful, yes?
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And I suppose word spread. Tonight the doorbell rang and the cam showed another woman, ready to go. I didn't open. I'm a little tired.
Thats a shame - because sex addiction is a real thing and a real problem.
https://saa-recovery.org/
#SLAA Online Group of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous - Forum Message Boards
https://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/El...timeOffset=600
D
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I copied this from Dee a week or so ago.
I used to think my problem was weed, then I thought my problem was alcohol, or shopping, The truth was - I was the problem. I had this void in me I was trying to fill with 'stuff'. The problem was the void was bottomless. I've had better results trying to heal the void.
I used to think my problem was weed, then I thought my problem was alcohol, or shopping, The truth was - I was the problem. I had this void in me I was trying to fill with 'stuff'. The problem was the void was bottomless. I've had better results trying to heal the void.
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I'm probably in the minority here but I don't really think the prostitute is a bad thing if it's not happening all the time.
The number of women in the time frame seems a bit much though.
Maybe you're just bored, I'm bored.
The number of women in the time frame seems a bit much though.
Maybe you're just bored, I'm bored.
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I sure have a fixation with sex, my 5th step made the beginnings of it back as a teenager clear. I saw the other teens getting together, looking so happy- and I always felt separate and less-than- similar to the language often heard in AA shares, so it seemed to me a physical relationship would make it OK. When the man hormones started up, what it amounted to for me was if I was having sex then the relationship was working and I was getting what I needed. Porn was there for the "off" days, or sometimes just because. Not a lot, but convenient a couple times/week. So I was using sex as a fix, demanding intimacy as/when I felt like it. When I got into recovery with my wife, she was pretty tired of it- not feeling much like sex. My cravings for sex, and the long term consequences became clear and its been something I've focussed a lot of 4th/5th step and other study work on.
So the game now is to let it go; I realize I cannot live with lust, but I can live with desire. I renounced porn in all forms, deleted my stash and work on guiding my head to mind my business and not mind the girl in the yoga pants, not allow myself to dwell on fantasies that my lizard brain can pop up in any given moment. I am going for neutrality like the Big Book talks about, its not like sexual stimulation is the "open flame" but I do realize I need to stay out of indulging it. I'm a fan of ChuckC's line; where sex is worthwhile when its something both parties are into, where its a joint expression of their relationship. Me demanding it of my wife and her giving in to stop me annoying her is not a good sex life.
It also seemed to me I need a redefinition of masturbation; have to make the time and place appropriate for a careful job, not just a quickie fix.
It helps me to carefully work towards not allowing my mind to run away with itself when it comes to sex; living with the near constant desire and a wife who is not interested in sex, and may never be interested again is delicate and patient work. She will help me masturbate if I ask, so I keep that to once/twice a month and make it a polite request.. its not much but I find it quenches the manbrain a lot better than doing it solo.
So the game now is to let it go; I realize I cannot live with lust, but I can live with desire. I renounced porn in all forms, deleted my stash and work on guiding my head to mind my business and not mind the girl in the yoga pants, not allow myself to dwell on fantasies that my lizard brain can pop up in any given moment. I am going for neutrality like the Big Book talks about, its not like sexual stimulation is the "open flame" but I do realize I need to stay out of indulging it. I'm a fan of ChuckC's line; where sex is worthwhile when its something both parties are into, where its a joint expression of their relationship. Me demanding it of my wife and her giving in to stop me annoying her is not a good sex life.
It also seemed to me I need a redefinition of masturbation; have to make the time and place appropriate for a careful job, not just a quickie fix.
It helps me to carefully work towards not allowing my mind to run away with itself when it comes to sex; living with the near constant desire and a wife who is not interested in sex, and may never be interested again is delicate and patient work. She will help me masturbate if I ask, so I keep that to once/twice a month and make it a polite request.. its not much but I find it quenches the manbrain a lot better than doing it solo.
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[QUOTE=MikeM;5884059]Haha. You know, you'd be surprised how much women nowadays just like to have an adventure. I blocked it when I was an alcoholic, but being fairly good-looking, I got hit on often./QUOTE]
Keep in mind, you are still an alcoholic. Most of us here are.
Keep in mind, you are still an alcoholic. Most of us here are.
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