whatalaska

Day 11 today.

Really, really struggling. My partner is going out tonight and left to own devices. I'm itching to be sociable (but am scared of relapse if i go out), yet so proud of what i have achieved so far.

My mind keeps thinking just go out and get beer....no one will know.

Finding it pretty hard to fight it at the moment.

Ariesagain

You'll know. And every time we engage in a new deception and relapse our addiction wakes up, smiled, and digs its claws in a little deeper.

Maybe think it all the way through? So you go to a bar to be "social." You have two, maybe three. Your partner calls or texts...and you lie and say you're somewhere else or you're home but not drinking. So you feel guilty...and then you get rebellious, because it's your life and you can make your own decisions, so you have a few more.

If your luck hasn't run out, you make it home safely and only wake up at dawn with a hangover and a bad case of self-loathing. But then you have to lie to cover up the other lie. Oh, and there are bottles you have to get rid of ASAP. Did anyone see you last night? Did you text anyone?

Awful, right?

Delizadee

Do you go to AA? If not how about trying a meeting?
Do you exercise?
If you like to read how about some recovery literature?
Could you do some volunteer work?
Movie or Netflix marathon?
Got a sober friend you can hang out with?
Bake or have a snack or some junk food....
Can you nap or go to bed early?
Play the tape backwards and forwards. Remember this is your choice and think hard about how far youve come.
Even if you just dip your toes in the water remember how fast and far it can bring us downward.
I hope you don't drink. You will never regret not drinking.

blueberry2015

When we are left to our own devices that nagging addictive voice can come in hard! What helps for me is that I remind myself that these feelings will soon pass, and tell myself that I will go to bed sober today, definately try distracting yourself, if you sit and dwell on it that AV will get louder and louder x x x

doggonecarl

Aries nailed it.

It takes a measure of integrety to get sober. You have to stay true to your committment to stay sober and strong in the face of your addiction.

Ariesagain

We'll be here if you need us...maybe you can make other plans tonight that are social but sober?

sleepie

Hi alaska, it is hard at first, I understand being very lonely.
Glad you reached out here!

I am convinced that sobriety is a grudge match at this point. Just have to stick with it until booze doesn't matter so much. For some months, drinking was always at the forefront of my mind but it does seem to ease up after awhile.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to stick with it.

blueberry2015

Def stay close to SR this evening if you cant make plans or distract yourself x

FLCamper

You made a good decision not to go if you think you'll be tempted. You've made it through 11 days - keep moving forward!

SoberLife90

Hey there! Don't go anywhere you don't have a reason to be. The person who matters most will know you had a drink, YOU. Good job posting on SR a on 11 days!

Anna

Build on the self-pride you're feeling now and don't let go of that.

Soberwolf

Hi WhatAlaska good job reaching out I think things like reaching out & playing the tape really helps to counter the cravings try these links & remember there is always someone here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Delilah1

Lots of great suggestions on this post, you will definitely not regret waking up sober tomorrow.

MikeM

The key is accepting that you feel this way and will feel all sorts of things and handle them.

Have you ever been sick? Well, all you could do is wait until it went away. And it did.

This is the same. No matter how horrible you feel, accept it. Go through it. And it will have an end.

And then you'll have another success!

saoutchik

Congratulations on 11 days whatalaska and well done for reaching out.

Hopefully you can find something to distract you

Fabela

Do you need someone to talk to right now?

thomas11

I'll be around too. Hang in there. 11 days is great, but pretty early in the process.

teatreeoil007

I'm staying home tonight and glad for it. It may seem "boring" to some people, but I really don't feel I am missing out on anything.

teatreeoil007

Just got a new jacuzzi tub put in. Gonna try it out and see if it'll help these aches and pain of maturity....(grin)

Dee74

I hope you made a good choice whatalaska.

I was really uncomfortable being on my own, even for a short period. It was like don't leave me with me...

Gradually I learned that I was not so bad a person, and that I didn't need to turn every night alone into an opportunity for oblivion.

The more nights I did that the more comnfortable I got and the more the AV grew fainter and fainter.

I hope you'll check in and tell us how you're going

D