Fabela

You know these shampoo commercials they used to show on TV? Those, which ended with the sentence “because you’re worth it”? Well, this is not one of them. It’s just that I see that I tend to use this sentence when I try to support other people, who are trying to stop drinking, and I even chose to use it as my signature: YOU ARE WORTH IT!

And I mean it.

Nothing in life that has value to us comes easily. We all know that. We have to work for the things that really matter. It could be the job that we want so badly, the grades we deserve, the thoughts and values that we try to teach our children. To get good results, we really need to work. Hard. But when our self-esteem lets us down, we have less to work for. When we feel that we’re not worthy of succeeding, we let ourselves down.

Even though I'm new at this, I am a little surprised when I read about people who have just quit drinking, who cry when they realize that they never can have a drink ever again. They started their first day with the Olympic spirit, “I will never drink again”, only to see it wither away when they are faced with the first hurdle. The cravings set in, and when they are about to climb the hurdle – staying quit – they are willing to give everything away, for a drink. Am I being too harsh?

“I can’t do it, it’s too difficult”
“Yes, it is difficult. But you’re worth it.”
“You are worth two weeks without alcohol”

You are worth the two weeks, or the time it takes for your body to get rid of the poison after years of drinking. You are worth the time it takes to get a healthier body, and to allow your destructive habits to weaken. For some, this could take more than two weeks, but that is actually a blessing in disguise. It takes time to break habits, but when you do, you know that time is the best doctor. Every time you resist the cravings, the little devils that have tormented you will die a little bit more.

This is actually not about willpower, it is about self-worth. Do you value yourself enough to do this, and keep doing it? To free yourself from addiction is possibly the hardest thing you’ve ever done, and when you have made it, the job doesn’t end there. You have to keep doing it, for the rest of your life.

Those most likely to succeed are those who never forget the most important thing; to do this for themselves. My name is Liz and I am addicted to alcohol. The road is going to be bumpy, but I want to keep going. Because I’m worth it.

Anna

I agree that alcoholism destroys our self-worth which in turn helps to keep us more and more addicted. It's such a vicious cycle. It takes believing that you are worth it, in order to step out of the cycle and succeed.

Ariesagain

(I'm developing a slightly unhealthy dependency on smilies...hmmm...)

Delizadee

I like smilies. The forum often reminds me I have a limit to adhere to.

Good post. Early days are hard especially when we strip away the veil of drinking and start looking at things honestly.
When you find yourself full of doubt, that's when you need to reach out to those who can offer you support, and remind you and even show you your worth when you can't see it for yourself. Addiction flourishes in self doubt, loathing, shame and isolation. When you can't shine your own light on it, reach out to someone who can.

Ariesagain

That is brilliant. Thank you!

least

Drinking eroded my self respect and self esteem. It took some sober time but they came back. I now value myself too much to drink again. And yes, I'm worth it.

MaidenNZ

I'm not at all surprised when I hear of people morning the loss ("crying") of alcohol in early sobriety, it's part of the grieving process for a substance that has been there for us through all life events...the one constant.

Also, sure, everyone is worth the two weeks you mention, but alcoholism doesn't work to a standard time frame when it comes to quitting. The psychological component of quitting is, for a lot of people, harder than breaking the physical dependency. This can and does last for years in a lot of cases.

So don't be "surprised when I read about people who have just quit drinking, who cry when they realize that they never can have a drink ever again". Of course everyone is worth the two weeks you mention, although its such a miniscule percentage that have quit successfully in two weeks or on their first attempt.

Quitting is a process without a set time or end date.

Hevyn

I knew I had to stop (after 30 yrs.), but I was very reluctant. I hated to give up the idea that it could be fun again - knowing very well it never could. At first I felt sorry for myself, so resentful of the loss. Didn't see how I could go on "alone". Then one day I realized I was free.

Great comments - thank you, Fabela.

firstymer

"I drink because I don't like who I am."
"I hate myself for drinking."
And over and over again it goes.

I read this so much. What we don't realize is that, with sobriety, we break that vicious cycle of self-hatred and drunkenness. And, slowly, we begin to like and (God forbid), maybe even LOVE ourselves again.

But it all begins with sobriety, and the positive changes that come with that.

It really is true, friends.

Dee74

Not sure if this was a world wide ad but I also like how Rachel Hunter's Pantene ad 'it won't happen overnight but it will happen' fits recovery

D

thomas11

Superb post Fabela. Can't argue with a word you said. My experience has been completely positive thus far.