Day 40 and Sober Kirky
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manhattan, New York
Posts: 83
Day 40 and Sober Kirky
Just wanted to leave a quick update since I havent been around much the past couple of weeks.
Still going strong. I find myself thinking about drinking very rarely
It usually involves social situations.
For example, I have some clients that invited me out for a beer after a long work day. I calmly declined but later I felt very annoyed that I turned down hanging with potential "friends" just because I didnt drink. My boss told me that I could always go and order a soda. I dont mind telling people I dont drink (nor have I encountered anyone giving me grief about not drinking) so it shouldnt stop me from being social.
Ive also been going to a weekly AA Meeting. (On Fridays, hence a big reason why I havent been at the SR Meetings at 9. I miss you guys!)
I really like it and I enjoy the people there. Its slowly becoming a kind of family situation. I also have become close with one girl thats around my age and we've been hanging out every week. Its so nice, and comforting. We do end up talking alot about being sober but we discussed that we really wanna be "friends", not "sober friends". Meaning that we can be there for each other but theres much more going on in our lives then just our sobriety so it doesnt have to be the main topic of discussion everytime we hang out.
Ive met a couple of sponsors at these meetings and the "push" from them to be sober I find is not really my cup of tea. We all have different stories and different ways that sobriety can be achieved and I dont feel connected to doing "The Steps" and "90 Meetings in 90 Days" aspect. I think the overload of turning my life into 24/7 Sober Kirky, "Eat, Sleep and Drink" sobriety is so pointless in my case. I dont need it nor do I find it appealing. I luckily haven't struggled or even been close to relapsing, that I feel its not necessary in my case. **
So things have been good. I see a definite change in my emotional state as well. Im the happiest Ive ever been (or at least that I can remember) and its getting better and better. Thank you SR.
(I'll be around in the chat room tonight if anyone wants to talk!)
** Note: I just wanna state that I do understand completely the benefits of a sponsor and working The Steps. I am in no way shape or form, saying that having one is pointless or that it doesnt work.
I know they have and do work for people who need the help.
Still going strong. I find myself thinking about drinking very rarely
It usually involves social situations.
For example, I have some clients that invited me out for a beer after a long work day. I calmly declined but later I felt very annoyed that I turned down hanging with potential "friends" just because I didnt drink. My boss told me that I could always go and order a soda. I dont mind telling people I dont drink (nor have I encountered anyone giving me grief about not drinking) so it shouldnt stop me from being social.
Ive also been going to a weekly AA Meeting. (On Fridays, hence a big reason why I havent been at the SR Meetings at 9. I miss you guys!)
I really like it and I enjoy the people there. Its slowly becoming a kind of family situation. I also have become close with one girl thats around my age and we've been hanging out every week. Its so nice, and comforting. We do end up talking alot about being sober but we discussed that we really wanna be "friends", not "sober friends". Meaning that we can be there for each other but theres much more going on in our lives then just our sobriety so it doesnt have to be the main topic of discussion everytime we hang out.
Ive met a couple of sponsors at these meetings and the "push" from them to be sober I find is not really my cup of tea. We all have different stories and different ways that sobriety can be achieved and I dont feel connected to doing "The Steps" and "90 Meetings in 90 Days" aspect. I think the overload of turning my life into 24/7 Sober Kirky, "Eat, Sleep and Drink" sobriety is so pointless in my case. I dont need it nor do I find it appealing. I luckily haven't struggled or even been close to relapsing, that I feel its not necessary in my case. **
So things have been good. I see a definite change in my emotional state as well. Im the happiest Ive ever been (or at least that I can remember) and its getting better and better. Thank you SR.
(I'll be around in the chat room tonight if anyone wants to talk!)
** Note: I just wanna state that I do understand completely the benefits of a sponsor and working The Steps. I am in no way shape or form, saying that having one is pointless or that it doesnt work.
I know they have and do work for people who need the help.
Keep going cause it gets better. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Congratulations. It's lovely to meet new people who understand us isn't it.
Like you, I didn't feel the need for a sponsor or the steps in the first months. However, later on it became apparent that I did need something else. Thing is, I'd kind of closed my mind to the idea (plus I'd said lots of times to lots of people that I didn't need it, and boy do I hate to be wrong ) so I still didn't act on it. Anyway, after a few months of a going through the wringer with my emotions and sanity, I finally heard something I needed to hear and did what I'd thought I didn't need. Got a sponsor and started working on the steps. The good thing about leaving it a while was that I at least had a good idea of who you ask. The bad bit was that I put myself through so much unnecessary pain and worried my boss (who referred me for conselling), my partner and my friends big time. Thankfully I didn't pick up a drink, but can see now that it was as much luck as anything else that this didn't happen. I've heard others have had a similar experience.
Anyway. I'm not saying that this WILL happen to you. And you can be assured that I truly hope it doesn't. All I'm suggesting is that you keep what I didn't - an open mind. I would love anyone and everyone to avoid having months of going to bed praying to die, and waking up in tears at the prospect of another day in which everything seems hopeless and impossible.
Enjoy your sobriety and your new friendships, but please stay self-aware and watchful for the malady creeping up on you. Restlessness. Irritablity. Irrational Discontentment. Past and future fears and resentments and harms swirling round in your mind unbidden in the quiet moments. These were all things that i wish that I'd known to watch for as signs that those 12 steps would bring me peace and reconciliation in myself.
Wishing you all the best in your journey, through sobriety, to recovery and serenity.
Like you, I didn't feel the need for a sponsor or the steps in the first months. However, later on it became apparent that I did need something else. Thing is, I'd kind of closed my mind to the idea (plus I'd said lots of times to lots of people that I didn't need it, and boy do I hate to be wrong ) so I still didn't act on it. Anyway, after a few months of a going through the wringer with my emotions and sanity, I finally heard something I needed to hear and did what I'd thought I didn't need. Got a sponsor and started working on the steps. The good thing about leaving it a while was that I at least had a good idea of who you ask. The bad bit was that I put myself through so much unnecessary pain and worried my boss (who referred me for conselling), my partner and my friends big time. Thankfully I didn't pick up a drink, but can see now that it was as much luck as anything else that this didn't happen. I've heard others have had a similar experience.
Anyway. I'm not saying that this WILL happen to you. And you can be assured that I truly hope it doesn't. All I'm suggesting is that you keep what I didn't - an open mind. I would love anyone and everyone to avoid having months of going to bed praying to die, and waking up in tears at the prospect of another day in which everything seems hopeless and impossible.
Enjoy your sobriety and your new friendships, but please stay self-aware and watchful for the malady creeping up on you. Restlessness. Irritablity. Irrational Discontentment. Past and future fears and resentments and harms swirling round in your mind unbidden in the quiet moments. These were all things that i wish that I'd known to watch for as signs that those 12 steps would bring me peace and reconciliation in myself.
Wishing you all the best in your journey, through sobriety, to recovery and serenity.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manhattan, New York
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by Jtmlk 
40 days is wonderful - are you feeling better ?
Im feeling really good.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Manhattan, New York
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by Beccybean
Congratulations. It's lovely to meet new people who understand us isn't it.
Like you, I didn't feel the need for a sponsor or the steps in the first months. However, later on it became apparent that I did need something else. Thing is, I'd kind of closed my mind to the idea (plus I'd said lots of times to lots of people that I didn't need it, and boy do I hate to be wrong ) so I still didn't act on it. Anyway, after a few months of a going through the wringer with my emotions and sanity, I finally heard something I needed to hear and did what I'd thought I didn't need. Got a sponsor and started working on the steps. The good thing about leaving it a while was that I at least had a good idea of who you ask. The bad bit was that I put myself through so much unnecessary pain and worried my boss (who referred me for conselling), my partner and my friends big time. Thankfully I didn't pick up a drink, but can see now that it was as much luck as anything else that this didn't happen. I've heard others have had a similar experience.
Anyway. I'm not saying that this WILL happen to you. And you can be assured that I truly hope it doesn't. All I'm suggesting is that you keep what I didn't - an open mind. I would love anyone and everyone to avoid having months of going to bed praying to die, and waking up in tears at the prospect of another day in which everything seems hopeless and impossible.
Enjoy your sobriety and your new friendships, but please stay self-aware and watchful for the malady creeping up on you. Restlessness. Irritablity. Irrational Discontentment. Past and future fears and resentments and harms swirling round in your mind unbidden in the quiet moments. These were all things that i wish that I'd known to watch for as signs that those 12 steps would bring me peace and reconciliation in myself.
Wishing you all the best in your journey, through sobriety, to recovery and serenity.
Like you, I didn't feel the need for a sponsor or the steps in the first months. However, later on it became apparent that I did need something else. Thing is, I'd kind of closed my mind to the idea (plus I'd said lots of times to lots of people that I didn't need it, and boy do I hate to be wrong ) so I still didn't act on it. Anyway, after a few months of a going through the wringer with my emotions and sanity, I finally heard something I needed to hear and did what I'd thought I didn't need. Got a sponsor and started working on the steps. The good thing about leaving it a while was that I at least had a good idea of who you ask. The bad bit was that I put myself through so much unnecessary pain and worried my boss (who referred me for conselling), my partner and my friends big time. Thankfully I didn't pick up a drink, but can see now that it was as much luck as anything else that this didn't happen. I've heard others have had a similar experience.
Anyway. I'm not saying that this WILL happen to you. And you can be assured that I truly hope it doesn't. All I'm suggesting is that you keep what I didn't - an open mind. I would love anyone and everyone to avoid having months of going to bed praying to die, and waking up in tears at the prospect of another day in which everything seems hopeless and impossible.
Enjoy your sobriety and your new friendships, but please stay self-aware and watchful for the malady creeping up on you. Restlessness. Irritablity. Irrational Discontentment. Past and future fears and resentments and harms swirling round in your mind unbidden in the quiet moments. These were all things that i wish that I'd known to watch for as signs that those 12 steps would bring me peace and reconciliation in myself.
Wishing you all the best in your journey, through sobriety, to recovery and serenity.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Kirky
I can honestly say that Im open to sponsors when and if the occasion arises. I'll do whatever it takes to be sober. It feels too good.
So glad us going well for you.
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