ICanDoBetter

I'm not going to drink but need to vent...

I have too much on my plate - I get it. I'm struggling to balance work and this exam and home. But I just have two days left. By I feel like every time I take a step forward its two back . Forwarded a draft of something to my boss and I should have read it first but opted to just forward because I didn't have time to review and didn't want to hold things up. Suffice to say it missed true mark and he wants to discuss with me. I'm stretched too thin this week and just want to pass the exam. I'm mostly focused don that and keeping things afloat at work while being a decent superviser and establishing he office in managing and being jack of all trades...

I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm trying to find the balance between work that is 'good enough' without perfection yet not have it be wrong in my boss's eyes at all times. Gah!

Ariesagain

I had a boss like that...he HAD to find fault. So eventually I started putting one or two obvious typos in nearly everything I gave him to review...one fairly close to the beginning, like maybe the second paragraph, which kept him feeling good about himself. If it was a long report, I'd throw in another one closer to the end. Hey, he got to feel all important and superior and I got the work approved.

It's a rough week, but you're almost there. Just hold on.

Sending you a hug...

least

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

lovingliving

Sux! Thank goodness your not dealing with all this hungover and hating yourself

Go do something nice for yourself, sounds like you've earned it

Anna

I'm sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed and I hope that you get through the next couple of days.

Soberwolf

I am sorry but really happy you choose to let it out here rather than drink x

Berrybean

Why not give your boss a call and explain about the exam, and how you're feeling. Worst thing would be that he doesn't care and things don't change, on the other hand he might not have realised how things are for you and will be willing to cut you some slack for a few days when he understands. I know that sometimes I've been a bit toooooo good at pretending to keep everything together when I'm falling apart on the inside. This disparity between our insides and outsides is not good for us, and as we learn (in sobriety) to break it down, we start to feel better.

Now if I was in your shoes reading that advice I'd be thinking (or yelling ) 'He does know. He just doesn't care. ' Or similar. I'd still say, talk to him anyway. He might surprise you.

The light is now at the end of the tunnel and you can do this, if you stay calm, breathe, and don't pick up a drink. Before you know it those 2 days will be behind you.

Take care. And keep venting on here as well.

vulturine

I'd drink up until a week before exams, then I'd be well enough to study for maybe 3 days prior to finals. I still did okay, but I could have done better without the brain fog, memory loss, and anxiety.

You can do this. Your achievements as a sober person will be so much more rewarding.

ICanDoBetter

Well, it isn't that I think he doesn't care. He's more swamped than I am quite frankly. I have a mix of emotions. I want to do a good job, I want to keep him apprised of how busy I am, I don't want to be construed as whining or complaining. I want to rise to the challenge but also acknowledge reasonable limits. After thinking about it I did realize hat in this case I didn't do what I ultimately should have with this particular doc and I will acknowledge that and modify what I do next time.

This is where having a mentor would be awesome. Someone to bounce these things off of without putting front and center all of my weaknesses for my boss.

Berrybean

Yes. I wouldn't be without my AA sponsor and best AA buddies. It's always good to get a calm perspective on things when we're deep in the insanity of a storm of emotions.

You know, even if he IS swamped, realistically, most things CAN wait a couple of days. Your exam on the other hand is a definite deadline. If you had flu the company wouldn't ground to a halt and go into liquidation. Likewise, it won't do if you're given a small amount of study leave (even if only leaving an hour or so early so you can focus on revision and rest) to get through these few pressurised days right now. Regarding the email, I would apologise to my boss for not being as thorough as would be usual. But also, accept (for yourself) that's the downside of having to prioritise a very heavy work load. If people want perfection then they have to balance the work expectations a little better. Your part in this is to be frank and honest with yourself and your boss when you are finding the load too challenging. Sure, they might not like it, but they can't do anything about it unless we're honest about it. If we're just seen to be coping and keep working hard on that facade of everything being Fine, then more will invariably be shoved our way. It is okay to not be able to do everything. We do not owe anyone perfection, and we do ourself a disservice if we become a slave to the impossible.

Take care.

Wishing for you, Work Life BALANCE xx

ICanDoBetter

I agree with all of that :-)

ICanDoBetter

Update. Chatted with boss. It want really a big deal for him. As usual I was being my own worst enemy/critic. ☺️

Dee74

I'm glad you did that ICDB

D