myweetoon

Hello. Nice to meet everyone. I'm 57. I've just gone through a divorce last year and had been separated for five years. It was like a bereavement. Anyway, I am now on my own and my kids have flown the nest and every evening after work I go home and open a bottle, sometimes a bottle and a half of wine. Drink until I feel drunk, then go to bed for the rest of the evening, until morning, then it's time to get up for work again. I can't go on like this. Has anyone ever been like this before. It's so depressing x

Dee74

Hi and welcome myweetoon

I think you'll find a lot of people here identifying with your situation and that insidious pattern of drinking that becomes nightly.

There's a ton of support here and a lot of good ideas. I'm glad you've found us

D

Soberwolf

Welcome Myweetoon

tufty13

Hey there myweetown,

Welcome to SR. :-)

Yep, I can relate to that. Divorced father of four children and I would drink until I was drunk several times a week after work. Sometimes I'd get home and wouldn't even pause to change out of my work gear or even bother to cook a meal. I'd just plonk myself down in the kitchen, uncork the wine and drink the night away.

Often I'd blame being lonely, more often boredom. I'd just drink till I went to bed, wake up the next day, off to work then do it all again.

Just like you I realised I didn't want to go on like that, and just like you I posted a message here on SR looking for some help and guidance.

That was almost five months ago and I haven't had a drink since. It's the best thing I've ever done.

No more headaches or hangovers, I'm fitter, healthier, less anxious, less depressed and more emotionally stable. After a thirty odd year drinking habit I'm so happy to have my liberty back.

Good luck to you on your journey. Should you choose sobriety it will be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. :-)

myweetoon

Thank you everyone for your replies. They mean a lot to me.

Tufty, I also don't even bother having dinner some evenings. I can't believe I've come to this stage in life. I have a lovely family and they don't really have a clue what I'm like in the evenings. I need to get out of this terrible rut.

How did you all stop drinking? Was it through medication?

azure808

Hi Weetoon - I'm a single dad who's kids are almost at fleeing the nest time. They doing they're own thing anyway. I get how your feeling. It's quite hard. Life has changed so much recently. What has stayed the same is my drinking . Although I'm making a change now. Best of luck

MikeM

Hi myweetoon. Welcome. You've come to the right place.

You asked: "How did you all stop drinking? Was it through medication?"

There's a way for everyone. When in doubt, simply see your doctor about it.

Personally, I quit with the help of family, this forum and making a plan. I didn't need rehab and/or medication, though that's certainly a good option.

It really depends on you and your personal circumstances.

What do you think you need to quit?

myweetoon

I don't really want to speak to my doctor about it. I want to try and eventually cut down on my own, if possible. I need to make a plan of my own and stick to it. It has taken over my life. I've piled on the pounds with drinking wine. I can't remember the last time I went a day without drinking a bottle. I just feel utter despair and self loathing the next morning.

FarToGo

Warm welcome to you myweetoon! There's lots of us here who can relate to where you've found yourself. And you're right, it's no way to live and it is depressing.
Keep reading and posting here, there's so much support and so much guidance available. Change for the better is entirely possible, I promise.
xx

MikeM

While I understand your reluctance to speak to your doctor, I think it'd be good to consider it a bit more. Doctors hear your story all... the... time. They're not going to judge. If they do, you've learned you need to switch doctors.

People have quit by cutting down but I don't recommend it. Mainly because I recently read an article (can't find it back, sorry) that said that quitting cold turkey has a much greater chance of succeeding than cutting down.

Put the bottle down and never pick it up again. You can do it. I wish I could transfer how it feels to be sober to you. It's wonderful in ways you haven't even considered yet.

tufty13

I'm not medically qualified So I can't advise on medication, I simply used the motivation from being on this site, joining one of the monthly classes here and a bit of willpower.

I set myself a target of three days of not drinking. Just three days and then I took it day by day until day thirty. That was enough sober time to make me realise how much of real life I had been missing out on. From that point I simply knew I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink.

I made not drinking THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in my life. Everything else took second place for a time. Absolutely everything. I gave up friendships, I cancelled social functions and some nights I went to bed at 8.30pm because I just wanted to avoid the world.

But it's worth it, everything is so much better being sober, colours more vivid, sounds are clearer, conversations actually have meaning now and emotions are dealt with rather than drowned out. I'm present in my life whereas before I was a mere onlooker.

Good luck to you, you can do this if you REALLY want to and you put the effort in.

ZenButterfly

In the past few months it was not uncommon for me to drink a bottle of wine in one evening. I'm trying to quit right now because my health is a complete wreck. At least so far, improving my health seems to be a good motivator for me as I am getting terrible acid reflux when I drink. I feel better!

I'm just trying to take things one day at a time. My first goal was a week being sober, maybe you could try that too? My next goal is a month, Good luck to us both!!!

least

Welcome to the family. I was a wine drinker too, one to three bottles a day. I got sober with the help of my addiction counselor and daily visits to SR.

I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

fini

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ry-plans.html?

welcome to you,

you might find that link useful.
and yes oh yes, what you describe is very familiar to me.
and most certainly quitting and staying quit is doable.

stick around.

360startstoday

Hello!

I know exactly what you mean. I would go home, open a beer before I did ANYTHING else! And drink all night until it was time to pass out. Rinse, repeat.

I didn't take medication.

I fell on my knees drunk one night and prayed God would take it away, I couldn't do it anymore. I woke up the next morning to day one, and went on from there. I am on day 52 now.

I also let go of friendships. The first week I didn't go home after work, I stayed out, walking the river with my kids, taking them on "dates" etc. Until I felt I was a bit over the "hump" . First couple times going home after work was hard. I bought a lot of Perrier water, tea, lemonade and ice cream....

It gets easier and you don't think about it as much. The first thing though.... is to make a decision to quit.... and then don't pick up.

I hope to see you make this decision soon!

thomas11

Hi myweetoon, I have been in the exact same "rut" you are in. I will offer this: if you do not try and change your ways, it will get worse, and it its far more unpleasant than what you are currently feeling (loathing etc...). I think you will find a lot of great advice on this forum. If you can find the strength to break your evening habit, I believe you will thank yourself. Being chained to the bottle every night may seem like relief, but in the long run it is not. I wish you the very best.

ccam1973

Hi and welcome Myweetoon. As you can tell, a lot of us have been in the same rut you are in now. I know I was in it for just over 20 years. Each morning I was convinced that I wouldn't drink that night, but inevitably I would convince myself I deserved to open the Vodka, crack a beer or have some wine. The problem is it never stopped at just some. I would drink constantly until I went to bed. By the end of my drinking career, I was drinking a full box of wine or case of beer each and every day, from morning through night; I had to give up the hard liquor when I was diagnosed with Fatty Liver years ago.

Bottom line is you have got to break the cycle. You've got the strength in you to make this happen. Come up with a plan and use every source for recovery and strength that will work for you.

We can help. Welcome aboard, you can do this.

Delilah1

Welcome Myweetoon!! I'm glad you have found SR, you will find tons of support on this site.

Wine was my downfall as well, I would come home from work and pour myself a glass of wine as I started dinner for the kids and checked homework. By the end of the night I would have finished a bottle, sometimes more. I would wake up each morning thinking "I am not going to drink tonight," however, that changed as the day went on.

Today I hit the 90 day milestone, and having a plan was key. I spend time on SR daily, and have really connected with my January class. I also read, journal, exercise, spend time with my kids...

There are definitely days it is a struggle, but the thoughts pass, and I have never woken up regretting not drinking the night before. Wine had also caused me to gain weight, and since January 1st I am down 21 pounds.

Spend some time reading around on this site. The stories of struggle, help me just as much as those of success. Also, check out the link about plans, it is a good one.

You can do this!! Looking forward to seeing you on SR!

myweetoon

I can't thank you all enough for your replies. It's good to know that you are not alone. I look around at others and think "why do they not have the need to drink like I do"? Reading here I can see that I am definitely not alone. You have all done so well. I will definitely take all of your advice x

MikeM

You are definitely not alone. Not in your problem and certainly not in getting sober. You can do it as well!