psyientist

so i'm 26 year old dude that has been a substance abuser since at least 10 years, i've been on all sorts of drugs but my three main problems are hashish, alcohol and cigarettes...the first one of which I decided to quit was alcohol and today i've decided to give up on smoking too, done enough damage to myself and hey, i've had more than my fair share of fun. time to man up.

grew up in a comfortable environment with doting parents who are rather naive and blissfully unaware about any of my drug issues and surprising they've never asked me anything despite me sitting on my ass old day, staying with them and having never earned a penny in my life...i dropped out of school and but still am a bit of a nerd so i read a lot...i've spent the last 10 years of my life partying...getting high and reading......we aren't rich or anything but we are comfortable....so i grew up to be kinda soft, never had to struggle for anything so i took everything too easy...i was pretty good at school and stuff and also considered to be one of the guys most likely to succeed by the teachers but after a puppy love relationship that went sour and a few more to follow i became super cynical about life and people and withdrew into myself and found refuge in a host of intoxicants....i've never been someone to get sad or depressed but recently i'd been feeling low after i bumped into an old teacher of mine from school and she asked me what i was upto and if i'd managed to become an architect like i always wanted to...and i had nothing to say to her, she was very kind but i could see the disappointment in her eyes....and i realised that if a teacher had hopes in me imagine what a disappointment i have been to my parents, they've always defended me...whenever someone tells my dad something about me he always tells them that i'm pretty smart and he trusts my ability to make something of myself.....neither of them know about my drug habit and their constant faith in me kills me with guilt...

so i started working on creating a business and i've already secured an investment of about $50,000 and work has begun...everything is on the upside now but since i've stopped drinking and now smoking i have to cut off from almost every friend i have because that's the kinda crowd i used to roll with, at this moment in time i have just a few sober friends and i had a wonderful girlfriend that left me partially because of the drugs...i lied to her so many times that she isn't even willing to look at me right now....lol...so yeah i messed up big time and wasted some of the best years of my life and ruined some of the best relationships....all is not lost yet and this is going to be an uphill struggle....so i'm here to just vent you know....and offer insights into my journey....

this is day 1 of sobriety, i'll keep sharing how i'm faring and how things are going.....i just need some place to talk because i can't really talk about my drug habits with anyone i know at the moment and my old friends well...i can't really change anyone and their influence has held me back long enough you know...

this is the first time in 10 years that my stash box is empty and i feel anxious as hell...i know one thing for sure, the best and surest way to put a stop to drug habits is to stop chilling with the same crew and switch up scenes, might take a while but i don't see myself being able to not get high with the kinda people i used to hang with and the kind of parties we would go to....you would be hard pressed to find even a single person that was not on some intoxicant or other apart from alcohol.

so yeah....that's my story, kinda scatter brained and unformatted i know but my mind is kinda all over the place right now so forgive me!

wish me luck!

Dee74

Welcome aboard psyientist

I'll certainly wish you luck but I reckon a good recovery plan and a solid support network are the backbone of most successful recoveries

You'll find a lot of support and good ideas here

D

Soberwolf

Welcome Psy

totfit

Sounds like you have a great grasp on the reality of your situation. That is really the key to making a move forward. I could tell you a lot of things, but my experience was that I just had to move forward and start making goals, even small ones and tackling them one at a time. As long as I had a picture in my life of how I wanted things to be and continued to move toward that then things improved. Sounds like you are moving in the right direction. I would wish you luck, but instead will wish you some ease with which to take those steps. Alcohol and drugs just helped you not to take those steps. Fear of success and/or failure are the toughest things to conquer. You know what though, just take whatever steps you want or feel you might need and just "be". Enjoy life and what it has to offer.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support and good advice here.

psyientist

Hey thanks dee, soberwolf, totfit and least...thanks a lot for the support and encouraging words! I'm fairly confident that I will pull through with this...man i don't know if it's inappropriate to say but after going through some of the threads on here i realised i have it a lot easier than most people...i just read about a dude my age who's liver is failing...i hope he recovers

Man i hope there's nothing wrong on my insides, you reckon i should get some body check up or something done?

Jsbodhi

Hi! Welcome! Your name is so cute and clever!

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!! You will find lots of support on this site. It sounds like you have many good things going for you in terms of family, potential, and a new business.

You also have the benefit of being smart enough to stop young.

Looking forward to following your journey on SR.

emme99

Hi & Welcome psyientist