Feeling very sad and vulnerable, Rockbottom I guess.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Feeling very sad and vulnerable, Rockbottom I guess.
On Easter Sunday I had to have my beloved dog of 17years put to sleep it is heartbreaking.
A friend came with me and witnessed just how upset I was. I then went on to have a minor car accident...
I live on my own so didn't have any support so did hope from a bit from my friend, only via text, sadly she just didn't bother to reply, her 18 year daughter then started sending me hurtful messages as she is a control freak and doesn't like her Mum to have friends.
The whole thing escalated and I went round to ask why they were being so cruel at such a difficult time and the daughters boyfriend got very aggressive.
My so called friend is in complete denial, sent me some really emotionally nasty messages. I now feel threatened , vulnerable and scared in my own home.
I have done an awful lot for this family, driving them around walking there dog etc.
What hurt the most is the fact that I hadn't been drinking, but because they know I do drink they used that as a tool in a very nasty way.
A friend came with me and witnessed just how upset I was. I then went on to have a minor car accident...
I live on my own so didn't have any support so did hope from a bit from my friend, only via text, sadly she just didn't bother to reply, her 18 year daughter then started sending me hurtful messages as she is a control freak and doesn't like her Mum to have friends.
The whole thing escalated and I went round to ask why they were being so cruel at such a difficult time and the daughters boyfriend got very aggressive.
My so called friend is in complete denial, sent me some really emotionally nasty messages. I now feel threatened , vulnerable and scared in my own home.
I have done an awful lot for this family, driving them around walking there dog etc.
What hurt the most is the fact that I hadn't been drinking, but because they know I do drink they used that as a tool in a very nasty way.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Abroad
Posts: 1,865
You have a lot on your plate now, Kaily. I'm so sorry about you dog, the loss of a faithful companion can be devastating. Still, you should be proud of yourself for not drinking. That's really impressive. I hope you and your friend can figure things out. 
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
Very sorry about your pup. Unfortunately it sounds like it's time to move on from that friendship at least until the daughter is out of the picture. Take care of yourself, sending some love and prayers your way.
-Ted
-Ted
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Sorry to hear about your dog, 17 years is a pretty long time. I bet he/she had as much as a good time enjoying your company as you did theirs. Have you thought about getting a puppy? I know its kind of soon and a new dog can't replace an old one, but they can really be great company and they have so much spunk when they're young.
Also sorry to hear about your friendship issue as well, I hope it all works out. Take care Kaily.
Also sorry to hear about your friendship issue as well, I hope it all works out. Take care Kaily.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
I 'm so sorry. I am a huge dog person and have had to say good-bye to seven of them in the last decade and it's just miserably hard, even when it's the right thing to do. Seventeen is a great age...none of mine made it quite that far...so you did everything right.
People who don't get it reeeealllyyy don't get it. My father is one (after losing two dogs in three months last fall he said, "Well, you had too many anyway." We had four.) But not getting it isn't the same as being nasty and it seems like your friend's family is one to stay away from.
There are often older dogs in shelters who need someone to love. Maybe check that out? Now that I'm older I'll probably do that next time, because I adore my puppy but oy, easy he is not.
Much sympathy and a hug from someone who really gets it...
People who don't get it reeeealllyyy don't get it. My father is one (after losing two dogs in three months last fall he said, "Well, you had too many anyway." We had four.) But not getting it isn't the same as being nasty and it seems like your friend's family is one to stay away from.
There are often older dogs in shelters who need someone to love. Maybe check that out? Now that I'm older I'll probably do that next time, because I adore my puppy but oy, easy he is not.
Much sympathy and a hug from someone who really gets it...
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by Kaily 
On Easter Sunday I had to have my beloved dog of 17years put to sleep it is heartbreaking.
A friend came with me and witnessed just how upset I was. I then went on to have a minor car accident...
I live on my own so didn't have any support so did hope from a bit from my friend, only via text, sadly she just didn't bother to reply, her 18 year daughter then started sending me hurtful messages as she is a control freak and doesn't like her Mum to have friends.
The whole thing escalated and I went round to ask why they were being so cruel at such a difficult time and the daughters boyfriend got very aggressive.
My so called friend is in complete denial, sent me some really emotionally nasty messages. I now feel threatened , vulnerable and scared in my own home.
I have done an awful lot for this family, driving them around walking there dog etc.
What hurt the most is the fact that I hadn't been drinking, but because they know I do drink they used that as a tool in a very nasty way.
A friend came with me and witnessed just how upset I was. I then went on to have a minor car accident...
I live on my own so didn't have any support so did hope from a bit from my friend, only via text, sadly she just didn't bother to reply, her 18 year daughter then started sending me hurtful messages as she is a control freak and doesn't like her Mum to have friends.
The whole thing escalated and I went round to ask why they were being so cruel at such a difficult time and the daughters boyfriend got very aggressive.
My so called friend is in complete denial, sent me some really emotionally nasty messages. I now feel threatened , vulnerable and scared in my own home.
I have done an awful lot for this family, driving them around walking there dog etc.
What hurt the most is the fact that I hadn't been drinking, but because they know I do drink they used that as a tool in a very nasty way.
That's amazing, we're all mega proud and rejoice in that - read a good book, watch a great movie, get lost in something and let the waters calm. Don't talk to your friend or be involved a little while - and especially don't do any favours for them!
I am so sorry to hear about your beloved dog, that must be difficult. Perhaps when you have moved on and your head is cleared, another companion who feels the same might be a good idea so you can both move on!!
All my love x
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 770
I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I used to have two cats and I loved them dearly. And eventually I had to put them to sleep. It is terrible and I know how you feel.
When I read your message, I noticed something. I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but the only actually bad thing that happened was that you had to put your dog to sleep. All the rest, those people childishly bothering you, really is nothing. Just some stupid people doing stupid things. No need to put any energy or attention in it.
The real problem is that it makes you feel scared and vulnerable. So make sure you lock the doors and windows and have a phone on you in case you need to call 911. You probably won't need to. People usually don't act on their aggression because they know it'll get them in trouble.
Let me tell you a story. I got robbed once by 4 guys. One had a knife on my throat and was on something. I could tell he was actually intending to cut. All I said was: "Do you really want to go to jail for 25 years for this?". He backed off and left. Something like that entered his awareness clearly, even though he was on drugs.
People don't want to be in jail.
I do feel for you. But don't let people get you upset like that. Instead, cut them out of your life and make nice friends.
Just my take on it. And I really am sorry to hear about your dog. That is the actual tragedy you're experiencing. And I wish you all the strength you need with that.
When I read your message, I noticed something. I'm not trying to make light of your situation, but the only actually bad thing that happened was that you had to put your dog to sleep. All the rest, those people childishly bothering you, really is nothing. Just some stupid people doing stupid things. No need to put any energy or attention in it.
The real problem is that it makes you feel scared and vulnerable. So make sure you lock the doors and windows and have a phone on you in case you need to call 911. You probably won't need to. People usually don't act on their aggression because they know it'll get them in trouble.
Let me tell you a story. I got robbed once by 4 guys. One had a knife on my throat and was on something. I could tell he was actually intending to cut. All I said was: "Do you really want to go to jail for 25 years for this?". He backed off and left. Something like that entered his awareness clearly, even though he was on drugs.
People don't want to be in jail.
I do feel for you. But don't let people get you upset like that. Instead, cut them out of your life and make nice friends.
Just my take on it. And I really am sorry to hear about your dog. That is the actual tragedy you're experiencing. And I wish you all the strength you need with that.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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I'm very sorry about the loss of your dog. It's always so difficult to lose a beloved pet.
My suggestion is to stay away from this friend and her daughter and keep some distance between you for some time.
My suggestion is to stay away from this friend and her daughter and keep some distance between you for some time.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
So sorry to hear about your dog. I have a very special dog who is 12 years old now and even though she is holding up pretty darn good, there will come a day as getting older in dog years comes on fast sometimes. Sorry about your 'friends'...if they can't handle that you are an alcoholic in recovery, well, time to make new friends who don't judge you for that. Dealing with the judgement and condemnation is a hard one, but there are people out there who are that way.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hang in there Kaily. So sorry about the loss of your dog. We lost our Lab of 11 years a few weeks ago, so I know what terrible pain it can cause.
Lean on us as much as you can to get you through this difficult time.
Lean on us as much as you can to get you through this difficult time.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
I'm so sorry about your dog, they are part of our family, and saying goodbye is so difficult.
As for your friend, I would definitely a kid her and her family. You don't need any additional stress.
As for your friend, I would definitely a kid her and her family. You don't need any additional stress.
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