That's it, I give in!
 

So I was originally going to try to hang on and go to rehab 2-3 weeks from now. But I can't hold on that long. I'm throwing in the towel. That means not completing my auxiliary training, which I've spent the past 3 months doing.

But I just can't do it. I can't stay sober right now. I need up and out of this life for a bit.

I'm just waiting to hear back from work and then I'm calling the treatment centre to set up a date.

That's a big decision but a good one I think shortstop....best of luck on getting in as soon as you can. The short term will be tough but the rewards you'll get will last a lifetime.

It's literally just under 3 weeks until graduation. But I've already done it - I've spoken to the Sergeant in charge of the unit. I have to give my uniform and equipment back. I KNOW this is the right thing to do, but I feel absolutely gutted.

I back your decision aswell x

I'm sorry this is such a difficult decision for you, and wish you all the best in rehab and that it will be a new start for you.

I'm with wolf, I support your decision. It takes a big person to admit their shortcomings and take action. I believe this decision will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Good job putting your recovery first.

I feel like I'm dismantling my life. I just told my gf we need to take a break too. I know my situation has been stressing her out, and I know she's fed up.

I hope you are able to get in soon. You should feel good about putting your recovery above everything else.

April 9th. That feels a million miles away.

You're putting your life back together, Shortstop. It is necessary to clear the wreckage of the past as part of moving forward.

I think you're making good decisions, and wish you all the best!

What will you do until then? Maybe AA meetings would help. Keep reading and posting here too!

There's a LOT of local meetings, plus some at the hospital. I guess I need to pack and continue to tie up some loose ends. I want to spend as much time as possible with my son.

I'm PRAYING that they get a cancellation or something and I can go in earlier.

I made the not-so-smart decision to let my sister house-sit my apartment. She's not the most reliable person in the world, but I'm doing her a big favour. And in turn, she'll feed my cat. ;)

Good for you!

Wishing you all the best - you can do this shortstop :)

D

Call them every morning at 8 am and ask for a bed. Sometimes a bed opens up when someone ask for it enough!

My doc prescribed me some Ativan to help with the withdrawals in the meantime. So far it's really been helping. I guess in the past I've never sought help withdrawals because I felt like it was the appropriate punishment.

Anyhoo. Things are falling in place - my doc is completing paperwork for my employer, my Auxiliary team are going to send me an email in regards to returning uniform, etc.

I went to AA last night. I'm quite familiar to all the locals meetings at this point.

My sis and her fiancee are between places right now, so they're going to apartment and cat-sit for while I'm gone.

My gf broke our self-imposed estrangement to see how I was doing. I know it's breaking the 'rules', but it felt so nice to hear from her. I'd hate to lose her because of all of this.

I really admire your courage, resolve, and your honesty with yourself. You will get through this and come back even stronger.

Wishing you the success you deserve...

Good for you shortstop. Sometimes you have to dismantle in order to rebuild. You are doing the right thing.

UPDATE:

So I was fortunate enough to get into treatment on April 4th, and I've now been sober for over a month. I still have one full week left of treatment, and I'm returning later today after a 48-hour leave.

I feel fantastic. This is the best decision I've ever made, and thought I'd quickly share that with you all.

Thanks for the kind words when I was barely hanging on, helping my get through the darkest days.